


For years now

by Thethirdexpedition



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Adult Hunk (Voltron), Adult Keith (Voltron), Adult Lance (Voltron), Adult Pidge | Katie Holt, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Cussing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Memory Loss, Mind Control, Mutual Pining, Past Relationship(s), Pining, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Post-War, Slow Burn, adult klance, and for some reason they keep sharing their beds with each other, just some adult klance realizing they’ve been in love since always, klance, most of it at least, they are older like mid twenties or something
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2019-03-08
Packaged: 2019-08-21 08:13:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 62,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16572893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thethirdexpedition/pseuds/Thethirdexpedition
Summary: After Zarkon and the Galra empire were finally defeated, the universe did not need Voltron anymore, and the paladins were released of all their duties. But even at the end of their legendary adventure, neither Keith nor Lance had come to terms with their feelings for each other, and before that happened, they decided to take different paths.Years have passed, and Keith comes back under mysterious circumstances that requires team Voltron to come together again. At the same time, seeing Lance again after so long makes Keith revisit old feelings and memories, that were never really gone. Maybe this time they can finally address all the feelings that were buried under the war.Or, Keith comes back after years of disappearance. There is an alien group messing things up in the universe again. Team Voltron reunites to kick some ass. Lance and Keith finally figure out their feelings for each other.Canon divergence.





	1. With every heartbeat - Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Adult/older Klance ftw.
> 
> This is my first ff ever. 
> 
> The idea of this ff is based on a dream I had where Keith came back to the team after years of being away, and he came back looking like a samurai (literally). It was a great dream.
> 
> Also... I began writing this story after season 2 so yeah, this is definitely canon divergence (more now after how season 8 went). I think I can say that I'm not taking many things from the canon universe after Krolia makes an appearance. Maybe only a few details here and there. 
> 
> I'll be adding more tags as I upload the rest of the chapters.
> 
>  
> 
> My beta: Secretlyadragon on Tumblr.

'Catch!' Lance shouted as he planted his feet firmly on the sand and threw the frisbee. The shot was overdone with a dramatic motion, but it was perfect… and it perfectly flew directly into a completely zoned out Keith, hitting him on the stomach. 

'Hey!' Keith exclaimed as he came back to earth when he felt the sharp pain, his hands immediately reaching for his belly, and his eyes staring at Lance resentfully. 

'Whoops… sorry.’ Lance chuckled. ‘…I’m pretty sure the idea of frisbee is to catch the flying disk though... not let it hit you.' He added with a smug smile on his face.

'Yeah... sorry.’ Keith knew he’d been zoning in and out for a while now, his mind completely away from the moment. ‘I kind of...' He gestured his hands in the air.

'I noticed.'

'...'

'Wanna keep playing?' Lance asked.

'Nah, I think I’m done.' He shrugged and walked towards the shore.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, listening to the sounds of the waves. It was a nice, calm and peaceful day, and Keith could not remember the last time he could relax like this… He opened his eyes and looked around. The sky was clear, the ocean was more or less calm, the light colored sand felt soft against his feet, and it was nice. Very nice. Behind them, not that far away, there was a forest. 

'Where are we?' Keith murmured to himself but Lance heard him somehow.

'Hahaha, _wow_. Are you okay?' Lance replied, coming over to Keith's side.

Keith turned to look at Lance's eyes, those ocean blue eyes. He didn't answer though, his mind in a completely different place now because he just... could not place in his memories when was the last time he looked into those eyes. It definitely felt like ages.

Lance smiled softly.

'Let's go for a swim.' Lance said, taking off his shirt and running to the sea. 

Keith blinked taken aback, but without hesitation took off his shirt and followed Lance into the sea. Stopping just before going in.

The sun felt hot against his pale skin, but there was a light breeze that chilled his body just right. Keith stepped into the water and it was so clear that he could see his feet through it.

'Keith! Come on!' Lance shouted, before graciously submerging himself under the water.

Slowly, Keith started to walk into the depths of the ocean. The water was warm but refreshing at the same time, and it was a pleasant sensation against his skin, it was nice. It was more than nice. Keith smiled and hurried to Lance, who just came from under and was combing his hair with his fingers. 

'What are we doing?' Keith asked, standing in front of Lance. His body swaying with the waves. 

'Whatever we want.' Lance winked at him and then pushed himself, swimming away from Keith. 

'Wait!' He yelled, but Lance had already put a lot of distance between them.

Keith started swimming as fast as his body allowed trying to catch Lance but he was way faster than him. He saw Lance take a deep breath and go into the water again. Keith stopped, floating still and waiting for Lance to come back up. And he waited for what felt like minutes but there was no sign of Lance anywhere. He looked down at the bottom of the ocean, trying to figure out the shapes under the water, but the sun was too bright and it reflected it´s light on the surface. 

‘Lance?’ Keith hesitated. He knew Lance was a better swimmer than him, but there was a human limit to how long he could stay without breathing before-

‘Lance!’ He called again with a lot more worry in his voice.

Keith kept floating still. 

Waiting.

Just waiting.

But Lance was nowhere to be found.

'Lance!' Keith shouted. 'It’s not funny.' He said quietly. 

He was about to start swimming back to the shore when suddenly two hands grabbed him by the waist and pulled him under the water. Keith knew it was Lance but still tried to open his eyes to see, failing completely as the water burned his eyes when he attempted to do so. He grabbed the hands around his waist, trying to release himself as he felt his lungs slowly running out of air, but the grip did not give in. 

Keith tried to turn around, a little more desperate now. He reached his arm behind his back to push Lance away but couldn’t get a hold of him even though Keith felt him just inches away from his back. 

He was almost out of breath and he could feel his lungs starting to contract, searching for air.

Keith fought against the grip desperately, swaying his arms and legs trying to push Lance away. And just as he felt his lungs unwittingly exhaling for air, the grip gave in just the slightest and turned him around. Keith heard laughter just in front of him, and he pushed Lance away from him swimming back to the surface. 

The instant his head was out of the water he took the deepest breath he'd taken in his whole life, coughing as the water his lungs had swallowed tried to make its way out of his body. 

Lance came out of the water a few seconds later, his laughter hearable now. Keith looked at him angrily. 

'What's wrong with you?!' He barked loudly.

'Oh man, your face!’ Lance keep laughing, but Keith was not having it and started swimming to the shore.

'Keith! No, wait. It was a joke!' Lance swam behind him fast enough to catch up and grab him by the wrist. 

'Wait!' 

'What!?' Keith snapped back.

Lance looked him in the eye.

'I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…' 

Keith said nothing. They just kept staring at each other for a little longer until Lance let go of Keith's wrist, leaving a cold lingering feeling on his skin.

'I’m sorry Keith.' Lance said in a low voice. 

There was a long silence between them, but it was not awkward like Keith would've thought. It was the kind of silence between people who know each other too much. The silence that spoke the words that wanted to be said.

Lance looked up and smiled at him.

Keith glanced at the shore, then back at Lance and smirked.

'... last one to the shore buys ice cream!' He shouted and started swimming as fast as possible.

'Oh really?' Lance chuckled and went after Keith. 

Keith got there first and panting laid on the ground, the sand scratching his wet skin. Lance got off the water right after and sat beside Keith, they looked at each other and laughed very loudly. 

Their voices echoing around them.

Keith looked at Lance from the corner of his eye, his face softening to the sight of Lance grabbing his belly. Once again he could not remember when was the last time he heard his laughter. 

After a moment, Keith sat up and looked around.

'Where are the others?' Keith asked.

'What others?' Lance replied, wiping a tear from one of his eyes. 

'Uhh... the... others? You know, everyone else.' 

'What?' Lance looked confused.

'Hunk? Shiro? Pidge?' Keith was getting annoyed. He didn't understand why Lance kept fooling around.

But Lance’s expression was serious now. 

'Keith, I don’t know who you are talking about. It has always been just the two of us. Keith and Lance. Lance and Keith. I don´t _know_ any others.' 

Keith opened his mouth but didn't say anything. He was confused. Lance stared at him worried, and Keith immediately diverted his eyes. He suddenly felt exhausted, like someone had sucked all the energy out of him. 

He got up and turned away from Lance. 

‘I’m tired.’ He said, and he could feel a headache creeping in his head. 

He needed to go but before he could do any movement Lance's hand was on his. 

'... Stay.' His eyes pleading as if he knew what was going to happen.

Keith wanted to stay with him, but there was something bothering him about all this. And maybe it was nothing, but he needed to clear his head. 

‘I’ll be back later.’ He let go of Lance’s hand and started walking towards the forest behind them. 

He needed to be alone. 

Lance watched as he went away. 

Keith walked for what seemed like a few minutes, but he noticed he was getting nowhere near the forest, in fact, the more he walked towards the forest the farthest away it seemed to appear. He started walking faster and faster, not even noticing when he started running. He ran as fast as he could, not getting even close to the forest. 

Despair began to rise in his chest.

'Keith, wait! Don't go!' Lance pleaded.

And as soon as he heard those words, Keith felt like his limbs weighed a thousand pounds, and suddenly he couldn't move anymore. Panting heavily, he listened to footsteps as Lance came closer and stopped right behind him. 

'If you go, you won’t come back.' Lance whispered to Keith's ear, sending shivers through his body. Lance then proceeded to give him a tight hug from behind. But it felt forced and awkward. 

Keith closed his eyes, his chest clenching at the sudden anxiety creeping in him. And he wanted to move away from Lance but it was impossible. He took a deep breath and noticed Lance's torso was very cold against his back and... there was something very wrong about all this. 

Not only Lance felt dead cold against his back but...

He didn't have a heartbeat. 

 

 

Keith woke up sweaty and panting, hair sticking to his forehead and neck. The room was spinning around him and he felt nauseous. He got up from where he was laying on the floor and barely reached the toilet before throwing up. He hadn’t had nightmares or any kind of dream in a long time, and less one with Lance in it.

His whole body was aching, he knew they came for him that morning, but once again he couldn't remember anything that happened outside of that room, it must have been a pretty ugly fight though. His suit was ripped and he had blood stains all over his body and face.

He washed off and laid on the bed he had. If that could be called a bed. It felt more like a piece of wood with a blanket on it. 

The room wasn't that dark but he knew it was nighttime, or at least that's what he called it. He never knew what time it was, so he had started calling it night whenever he found himself back in his room after they had taken him on duty.

Like every time after a mission, he tried to recall what had happened, what had he done… or what had they made him do. Sometimes he would get tiny flashbacks of battles against unknown aliens, but most of the time he couldn't remember anything. 

Today was one of those times. 

He was exhausted, but he didn't want to go to sleep. He didn't want to dream again; he knew hallucinations were part of his imprisonment, but hallucinating about dying or being tortured was very different from actually dreaming… less of all dreaming about Lance. 

Dreaming about Lance only reminded him that he was not going to see him, or any of his friends ever again. And that wasn’t something he wanted to remember.

Breathe in.

Clutching the blanket in his fists, he closed his eyes tightly. He didn’t want to dream about Lance.

Breathe out.

Keith opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. The painting looked awful, and it was peeling in a lot of places. 

Breathe in.

He really wished none of this had happened.

Breathe out.

He wished he had stayed on Earth with his friends.

Breathe in.

He knew it was just a desperate wish but… What if he _had_ stayed on earth that time? 

Breathe out.

Keith stopped his train of thought. There was no point on thinking about this now, even if he regretted many of the decisions he made in the past.

He turned to his side and it was then when a shining dot caught his attention. There was a faint red light coming from near the toilet. And Keith knew that wasn’t there before, even if his mind was a chaotic mess of fake and real memories, he knew inside his room there was nothing else but the bed and the toilet. Gathering all his strength, he got up and took what looked like a microchip. The red light was coming from it. The piece looked slightly familiar but Keith couldn't place where he had seen it before.

He wanted to keep examining the microchip, but the dizziness was coming back, and he barely made it back to bed before passing out. The piece still in his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
>  
> 
> PS: English is not my first language, so I apologize for any grammar mistake.


	2. Afterlife

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My beta: Secretlyadragon on Tumblr.

Pidge slowly stirred the pink goo with her spoon. Today’s breakfast was no improvement from yesterday’s, she thought, staring at the bowl in front of her. She groaned quietly and looked at Shiro read his Galactic newspaper on his tablet and eat the goo like nothing, like it was cereal. No matter how many years they’ve been traveling in space, she just couldn’t get used to the food in the castle. It didn’t help that none of them knew how to cook. Well, Coran did, but his cooking wasn’t very flavorful either. 

She left the spoon in the bowl and pushed it away from her, resting her head on the table and closing her eyes.

It has been a pretty boring week. Diplomatic meetings, checking on some planets, a little help here and there. Same old, same old. Life in the castle of Lions was not as exciting as someone would have thought.

'Pidge...' Shiro said without taking his eyes off the tablet. 

'I’m not hungry.'

'Finish your breakfast, you need it.'

Pidge growled in annoyance, but obediently took the bowl and started eating again. It tasted somewhat like cardboard, but spicier. If that made any sense.

'I know I need it, it's just...' She stayed silent.

Shiro looked at her, finishing the rest of the goo in his bowl.

Pidge sighed.

'I miss Hunk.' She said putting another spoonful in her mouth swallowing fast so she would avoid the flavor as much as possible.

The yellow paladin could really cook some meals, but it wasn’t just the cooking she missed. She missed having her friends around, all of them. Still, as much as she missed them, she didn’t regret her decision. Earth just wasn’t that attractive to her, not after getting to know all the planet and galaxies she had thanks to Voltron. And definitely not after the war ended. That didn’t mean she wasn’t helping Earth. On the contrary, that’s why they were on space. To help earth’s relations with the rest of the universe. They were ambassadors to the planet Earth and the human race. 

Besides, Matt was in space too… maybe she should visit him more often. 

Shiro had all his attention on her now. 

'I know you miss them. It has been years now... maybe we could squeeze a quick visit to earth…’ He commented squinting his eyes and scratching his face, mentally going over the tight schedule they had. ‘… Allura and Coran will probably say yes if we ask them… what do you think?' Shiro wiggled his eyebrows playfully.

'Don’t... don’t do that' Pidge replied making a disgusted face, although she thought it was funny. Shiro had gone back to be more relaxed over the years, thankfully. He really was in need of a rest after all that had happened to him. Also, finally starting dating again had helped him in a lot of ways.

'Yeah, I guess we could pay them a visit...' 

'It’s settled then! I’ll tell Allura so we can fix a date.' Shiro said enthusiastically, getting up and taking his bowl to the dishwasher.

'Woah dude didn’t know you were so eager to visit earth.' She chuckled. 

'Don’t call me dude.' He said flatly. 

'Yes, sir!' Pidge replied making a salute with her spoon.

Shiro rolled his eyes. 'I guess... I’ve been missing earth lately?... I’ve been missing our friends as well, to be honest. I don’t know why we haven’t visited them yet...' He said thoughtfully. '...BUT, in the meantime, finish your goo. We have things to do.' Shiro walked towards the door.

Pidge open her mouth to answer, but Shiro turned to look at her.

'And don’t call me sir.'

Pidge stuck her tongue full of pink goo out to him.

'Yes, space dad!'

Shiro closed his eyes and shook his head, leaving the green paladin alone in the kitchen.

Pidge really missed the other paladins.

She finished her goo painstakingly and finally could toss the bowl in the dishwasher too. Yeah, a visit to Earth would be nice. Hanging out with her friends, seeing her family, catching up, relaxing a bit. She liked that idea. Although not everybody was on earth. 

She sighed heavily. 

'Stupid Keith. What is so important that he can't even call.' Mumbled to herself. 

Over the years the green and red paladin had grown a very close friendship and stayed in contact during the first couple of years after he left. Well, actually Pidge was in charge of keeping in touch with all the rest of the paladins, but as Keith and she were both in space, they had slipped into an easy routine of everyday calls. At first, they would have short conversations updating on everything that happened on the castle and with Keith’s journey, but after a few months, they just developed a friendship and told each other what was _really_ going on with their lives. Is not like they were not friends before that, but having only each other, especially on Keith’s side, made their bond flourish. 

It was a funny thought though because it wasn’t like they _only_ had each other, quite the contrary in fact. They had friends and allies all over the universe now, also their families, but it was a completely different thing talking to someone that had also endured the hardships of war the way they, as paladins of Voltron, had experienced.

It was absolutely different.

She also kept in touch with Hunk and Lance on earth, but after they settled in and restarted their lives it became more and more difficult to find time to catch up. She was fine with it though, it was understandable.

So after they lost contact with Keith, Pidge was left pretty lonely.

She groaned, rubbing her eyes. 

Maybe she should work on another kind of long-distance communication system with the lions. The one they had was a bit out of date, also she knew Keith blocked the current system on his lion. 

The bastard. 

Yeah, she could try that again, for all that she knew, there must be another way to reach that idiot and his lion in space.

 

The castle was quiet in the mornings. It didn’t help that there were only four people living in it now. Somehow being short on three people made a huge difference… well, short on three _paladins_ actually, because they were short on five people in total, counting Romelle and Krolia that weren’t there either. But the paladins’ absence was the most notorious... especially Hunk and Lance, them being the loudest of the bunch, and most specifically Lance. BUT... nobody on the castle could deny they missed Lance, he was the life and party of the castle after all.

It felt way too quiet without them. It had felt that way for too long now, Pidge decided.

Pidge usually liked to wander around the castle in the morning. It helped her think. She had come up with a bunch of great ideas that way, but today she skipped her walk and went directly to her workshop. Coran had built the workshop just for her, as a present when she turned 18. It was huge, and it had all the tools and elements to create about anything she could possibly think of. She loved it. 

'Where should I start?' Pidge said while picking up a few tools from the floor and putting them in a drawer. 

The place was currently a mess. Her last project had taken a lot of time, and after it was finished she just didn't have the energy to clean up. 

'There must be a way to canalize the unique energy from the lions into some sort of device, I'm sure of it... but how?' She sat on a chair while looking around trying to find inspiration.

She had already asked Coran about the matter, and he helped her in all the ways he thought off, but nothing had worked. She needed an engineer’s opinion. 

Once again she found herself missing Hunk.

They could probably go to Olkarion and ask for advice but their tech was quite different from the Altean one in the castle… there had to be someone else...

Pidge opened her eyes wide, her face lighting up at the sudden realization.

'Why didn’t I think of it!!?' She exclaimed while running for the door. 

_____

 

'What are we doing today?! Can we go visit Slav??' Pidge asked coming in the control room.

Shiro choked on the water he was sipping, coughing loudly. Allura patted him on the back. 

Coran turned around to look at her. 'Well hello there, number five!' 

'We already have plans for today Pidge.' Allura pointed out.

'That's right, we are visiting the _Bootans_ today.'

'What the snake people? NO please, I really need to talk to Slav!' Pidge begged.

'Why do you _need_ to talk to Slav?’ Shiro asked, narrowing his eyes suspiciously at her. 

Pidge knew Slav was beyond irritating but if there was someone that could help her come up with a new communication system it was him. 

'I... I want to try contact Keith... again.' She mumbled. 

They all stayed in silence for a while. Somehow talking about Keith had become a taboo subject in the castle. It wasn’t that they were mad at him, but more like they feared something bad had happened to him. Nobody dared say it out loud though.

Allura smiled softly and came over Pidge's side, putting her arm around her shoulders. 

'We all know you are concerned about him, but…’ She hesitated. ‘… there is no doubt he is doing well. I can assure you.' She finished trying to sound as confident as possible.

'The princess is right Pidge. The red lion would have definitely come back if Keith was dead-' 

'Coran!' Shiro interrupted quickly. He looked at Pidge and smiled softly at her. 'He is probably fine Pidge… you know how he… uhh… how he just keeps to himself sometimes.' 

Pidge rolled her eyes and left Allura's arm, pacing around the room impatiently. They looked at her with worry.

'Is not just that... I mean yeah, we haven't heard anything from him in what, one year? But-'

'One year and five months' corrected Coran. 

Shiro glanced at him incredulously. 

'Yes, thank you.’ She said flatly ‘One year and five months. BUT, if we could create a different way to communicate with the lions over very long distances it would benefit the whole team, right? We could update not only the lions but all communication systems in the castle and the pods too!' Pidge exclaimed enthusiastically.

'You have a good point there.’ Coran petted his mustache thinking deeply. ‘Even after our communication system was updated with the latest tech last time we were on earth… I agree we could definitely update them again...' 

Allura stepped forward as if Coran could change his mind about today’s mission.

'It is indeed a great idea Pidge, but unfortunately, we still need to go to _Bootan_ today. Their leader is expecting us… maybe we could visit Slav next week? ... and then we could visit Earth!' She said looking at Shiro. He gave her a reassuring nod. 

Allura walked over to Pidge.

'But right now we must stick to the schedule, as it is our duty as ambassadors.'

Pidge sighed. 

'Alright.' She said smiling. 

Allura gave her a comforting smile and squeezed her shoulder, thanking her. Pidge gave her a nod and sat on her paladin seat. 

'Very well then, setting course to _Bootan!_.' Coran exclaimed, establishing the route on the control panel. 'I like these folks, they always seem so mysterious'.

'Calculating travel time... We should get there in 5 Vargas.' Pidge announced typing on her screen. 

'Excellent. Now, we first need to address the problems with -' But Allura could not finish that sentence. Suddenly all screens turned red and a very familiar sound started ringing. It was the paladin signal, or more precisely it was Red's signal.

'Is that...?' Shiro asked.

'I think it is…'

'HOLY SHIT THAT'S _KEITH_! … but how…?' Pidge stood on her seat, overflowing with excitement.

A little red dot appeared on the map.

'His route is a little bit erratic.' Coran pointed out and opened the communication channel. _'Hello red paladin, team Voltron over here. What's your status?'_

But the only thing they heard back when Red’s channel opened was static.

'What is going on? Pidge can you fix it?' Shiro asked worriedly.

Pidge was already typing fast on her screen.

'The system does not recognize the kind of signal Red is broadcasting.'

'He’s getting closer but he's not slowing down!' Coran stated a lot more alarmed now.

'Pidge, get to your lion! Allura, try to move the castle out of Keith’s way.’ Shiro commanded.

____________

 

Shiro and Pidge managed to not only slow down Red's speed but to stop him altogether. He was in a "standby" mode and they couldn't communicate with Keith just yet. They took Red to the hangars and let him rest there. The lion was in a pretty bad shape, dented in a lot of places and not even reacting to the energy of the lions beside him.

Pidge got out of Green and ran to Red, but he was not opening his cockpit. 

'Keith!' She tried calling. 

'Coran, can we give Keith's lion some energy from the castle, please? We can't get inside.’ Shiro requested.

_'We can give him just a small shock so he can begin his healing process… you should be able to get inside Red in about five dobashes.'_

A ray of cyan light appeared from the ceiling and landed on Red, and just as Coran said a little bit over five minutes later the lion opened his cockpit. Pidge was the first to get inside. 

The main lights were not on, and the only thing that brightened the space was the distress signals all over the screens. As she came closer to the front of the cockpit Pidge saw Keith. He was lying unconscious on the floor next to his seat. 

Pidge kneeled beside him and lifted his head carefully. Keith was alive but he looked terrible, he had cuts all over his face, along with a lot of dry blood. The suit he was wearing looked like the one from The Blade of Marmora, but it was so teared up and bloody that it was almost unrecognizable. 

Shiro helped her get him to the sickbay, where Coran and Allura had a healing pod ready. The second they put Keith inside, the pod started calculating how long he was going to be there, but for everyone's surprise, it said Keith needed to be there just ten minutes. 

'That's not right. How can he only need ten minutes?!' Pidge worried touching the panel on the pod. 

'The report says he is physically fine. He doesn't have any inner injury or anything really…' Allura commented perplex. 

'What do you mean he's fine?! Look at him! He is far from fine!' Pidge yelled looking at the rest of the team with anger.

'Pidge, I need you to calm down.' Shiro said in his dad-voice 'Maybe he just… looks that way. Let's wait the ten minutes, and then we can ask him if he really feels as good as the report says he is.' He suggested. 

Pidge was not going to argue with Shiro, but she knew something wasn't right. They all stayed there waiting for the ten minutes to pass, which definitely felt more like an hour to Pidge. She couldn’t get around of how could someone look that bad but be fine at the same time. She had seen a lot of injured people in her short life to absolutely know when someone was not okay.

When only a few seconds were left Pidge positioned herself in front of the pod's door just in case Keith felt weak on the knees, like Coran always did after some time inside a healing pod. When the door opened, Keith fell straight down on top of Pidge. 

He wasn't awake. 

Shiro carried him and laid him down on one of the beds. Coran checked Keith's vitals, but once again the report said he was completely fine.

'I don't understand...' Pidge whispered looking at Keith. Her eyes reflecting the fear she felt inside. 

'I've never seen something like this before. He should be awake.' Allura said. ‘Maybe... maybe I can help him…’ She said and put one of her hands on Keith’s forehead, just as he had done with Lance years ago. 

Keith’s quintessence lighted up under her hand, but after Allura was done he was still unconscious. 

She was about to check on his vitals again when Shiro stopped her. 

'Okay, I think that's enough. The report says he is fine, maybe we should just let him rest a bit and-' 

'But Shiro...' Pidge interrupted

'I know you are concerned’ He said looking at her, and she could see the apprehension in his eyes. ‘But let him rest. We can monitor him from the control room.' 

Pidge had a bad feeling about all this, but maybe Shiro was right and Keith was just tired. In any case, they just had to wait. 

 

 

_____________

 

 

 

When Keith woke up he immediately knew where he was, he had been there so many times before. He also knew all too well that this wasn't what it looked like. He got up, feeling how his muscles were not sore anymore and walked around curiously. Everything was just as he remembered… and that was what it was, just a memory projected in one of his more than well-known hallucinations. 

Keith huffed as he made his way to the door.

He had never dreamed about the castle though, or Voltron, but since he had already dreamed about Lance, this didn't seem as bizarre as it should have. He admitted this was a whole new level of hallucination though, he had to give it to them. Being there was more than a welcome feeling, but it was completely infuriating too. The last thing Keith wanted was them reviving these memories... and he knew what he needed to do and that was waking up but… he couldn’t do it. Not immediately at least, he just didn’t have it in himself.

So he allowed himself to dream a little longer… only for a moment, only to try to forget the mess he was stuck in, only to just feel like he was home just for a second.

Just as he was reaching the door, it slid open and Pidge appeared in front of him, smiling widely.

'Oh my god, you are okay!’ She said with such a relief in her voice it made Keith freeze on the spot. ‘We've been waiting for hours, Keith, what happened?'

Pidge came closer lifting her arms to give him a hug, but Keith jumped back and ran to the drawers near the beds. 

Letting his mind wander was a mistake, he knew, and it had been good while it lasted but this was too much. He was not going to allow them to use his memories like this. Keith opened one of the drawers and took what looked like a scalpel, wielding it against the Pidge-looking hallucination.

'Hey, what's wrong? Are you okay?' Pidge frowned at him.

'NO, no, no, no, no! We are not doing this! I'm not falling for it this time' Keith warned, his eyes wide open.

'Keith. What are you doing?' Pidge asked in a higher pitch. Her hands up as a sign that she wasn't going to hurt him. 

She looked scared, but he wasn’t going to buy it. This was not going to be like last time with Lance, this time he was fighting back.

'Shut up, just SHUT UP! I know what you are doing, I know who you really are.' Keith threatened her with the scalpel. 

'I don't understand. I'm Pid-'

'NO, YOU ARE NOT. I KNOW WHO YOU ARE.' He screamed, looking everywhere for something that could help him wake up. 'You fucking monster, how dare you to use my friends like this? HOW FUCKING DARE YOU?' 

Pidge was backing down now.

'Shiro! Anyone! I need help please!!' She cried as she kept walking backward.

'You are not getting away this time.' And he meant it, even if this was the last thing he did, he was going to make them pay.

Keith rolled over and tackled Pidge making her fall on her back. He jumped on top of her, one hand grabbing her hair and the other aiming the sharp object to her neck, but Pidge grabbed Keith's wrist before he could really hurt her. 

'Keith please' She begged with tears in her eyes, her arms shaking.

' _Stop it_ , just stop! You're gonna get what you deserve you fucking Awkan!’ His eyes turned yellow and he could feel the renewed strength in his body. The scalpel was now touching Pidge's skin and blood was coming out. She could not contain him anymore. 

'KEITH!' Shiro came running into the sickbay, knocking down Keith with one blow. He held him from behind restraining his arms so he could not escape. 

'NO. LET ME GO, NOW!' He cried desperately as he tried to get out of Shiro’s hold.

Coran and Allura entered the room at that moment. Keith looked at them desperately, he just wanted this whole nightmare to stop. 

'Wake up, wake up... I just need to wake up' He whispered to himself while struggling. 'Just wake up.'

Keith was able to release the arm that was holding the scalpel, and in a smooth movement, he aimed it at his own throat. Pidge barely stopping him before he reached his neck. 

'Coran! We need to put him under!' Allura ordered.

'NO NO NO, PLEASE DON'T PLE-' But he couldn't finish. 

Coran injected a sleeping drug on his arm and that was the last thing Keith knew. 

 

_____________

 

 

'I told you he wasn't fine!!' Pidge barked. She was pacing around the control room.

'Pidge we need to check your wound, please' Shiro said, coming to her. 

'No, don't touch me.' Shiro was taken aback, a little hurt over her words. Pidge stopped pacing, closed her eyes and took a deep breath. 'I'm sorry. I'm fine, it’s only a scratch....’ And it was a stupid, useless lie because everyone could see the blood around the hand over her wound, but it just wasn't a priority for her at the moment. ‘I just want to know what's going on with Keith.' 

None of them knew what just happened, they have never encountered something like this, but it slightly reminded them when Shiro went rogue under Haggar's control.

'He didn't even recognize me... I mean... He did, but he thought I was someone else...' Pidge said in a low voice.

'What do you mean?' Allura asked.

'He called me an Awkan, whatever that is.' 

'Never heard of that term before.' Coran started typing on the main control 'The castle doesn't recognize it either.' 

'Do you think we could keep Keith just a little bit sedated so we can interrogate him?' Shiro asked Allura.

'He is not a prisoner!' Pidge snapped.

'I know he is not, but we need to know what happened to him and right now we have nothing.' He snapped back, raising his voice.

'We can sedate him only if everyone agrees.' Allura answered, serious.

'No, I don't agree. We are not going to treat him like that! He's my friend!' 

'Pidge, I'm sorry, he is my friend too and I just want him to be alright.’ Shiro said softly this time, looking at Pidge. ‘…but I'm out of ideas and I want to know what is going on.' He finished putting his prosthetic hand over Pidge's shoulder. 

'I think... I think we should call the others.' Pidge mumbled, staring at Shiro, pleading him with her eyes. 'We should all have a word in this matter. After we talk, we can do what most of us agree on.' 

Shiro squeezed her shoulder and nod in agreement. 

'Alright let's do that. Do you want to call them?' 

'Yes please.' 

 

Pidge was left alone in the control room. She asked them to leave so she could tell their friends about the situation and not having everyone talk at the same time. That was what she told them, but the truth was she just wanted to be alone. She had dreamed about having her friend back so many times, but none of those times were like this. She typed in her screen the coordinates and a phone number. The dialing tone invading the room while she waited. Before they left Earth the last time, they made some modifications to Lance's cell phone to be able to receive the castle signal from almost anywhere. It should be a few hours past noon if her earth clock was right. They should be awake to answer the call.


	3. To call home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My beta: Secretlyadragon on Tumblr.

'Oh man! Could this day go any slower!?' Lance grunted. He was sitting on a stool, his right hand supporting his head from falling on the counter. The warm air from a little fan beside him hitting his face, and although he was wearing a tank top and short swimming trunks, he was sweating, and it was not nice. 

This must be the hottest day of summer until date, and being inside a food truck parked right under the sun didn’t make it any better.

Hunk chuckled behind him. He had a chef hat on his head that had _‘Altean cuisine’_ written on the front.

'Maybe we could close early today... I mean it really has been a pretty slow day. It must be the heat.' Hunk said while cleaning the kitchen.

'Can we go to the beach? Pleeaaaaaseee.' Lance begged. 

'Uhm... Okay, but let's give it another hour here and then we go.' Hunk granted.

'Alright!' Lance got up, pleased with the plan. 

'You might want to start cleaning up the floor and such, I don’t think anyone else is coming.'

'Okey-dokey.' Lance took the broom and started swiping. The floor wasn’t very dirty but they always made sure the truck was squeaky clean before they called it a day. 

Hunk was going to start cleaning the fryer when there was a ring from the bell on the counter.

'I hope you guys aren’t closed yet' A nice tan guy was at the other side of the counter. 

'Oh, hi Alan!' Hunk saluted. 'No, we are just cleaning up a bit, not closed yet.' 

'Great. Hi Lance.' Alan stared at the boy, with a shy smile on his face. 

'Hi, Alan! What can we get you? Same as usual?' Lance offered.

'You know me.' Alan smirked playfully but really nervous.

Lance stopped swiping. 

'An order of Poke with fries and sour cream on the side coming right up buddy!' Hunk went on with the order.

Lance and the boy stayed in silence for a moment, and it was a bit awkward.

'So...' Lance tried 

'You guys going to the beach concert tomorrow night?' Alan blurted all of a sudden.

'Oh, uhh... We don’t know yet, I mean we probably aren’t…’ Lance hesitated with a sad, disappointed tone in his voice. ‘We should keep the truck open during the concert.'

'Oh come on guys, it’s the end of the summer. Live a little.' 

‘Yeah…’ Lance chuckled awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck.

'I guess we could keep it open for a while and then go to the concert?' Hunk interfered from the kitchen. 

'That is... can we do that? That’s such a good idea -oh my glob- Can we really?’ Lance turned to look at Hunk with the biggest grin on his face.

‘Yeah, sure, I actually wanna go to the concert too.’ He nodded while checking the fryer.

'Really? _Awesome_!’ Alan had the brightest smile on his face now. ‘You guys could... I mean if you want to, you could go alone too, but maybe we... we could hang out at the concert? Some friends and I are gonna be there.’ He mumbled very fast, blushing a little.

Lance smiled at how nervous the boy was. 

'Oh, is that so?' Lance flirted playfully, raising one eyebrow to the boy. 

Alan was blushing hard now.

'I-I mean yeah… It could be fun.'

'Your order is ready.' Hunk said ringing a bell and leaving the cardboard plate on the counter. 'Don’t worry we'll be there.' He assured.

Alan opened his wallet, took out a bill, and handed it over to Lance.

'Thanks. I’ll see you there then. Keep the change.' He winked and left rapidly with his food.

Lance stared at the bill for a moment.

'Did he really just handed us- Dude, that’s like double the price' Hunk glanced at the bill from behind Lance.

Lance just had this awfully confused expression on his face. His lips a tight line and his eyebrows furrowed together almost making them seem like one.

'Isn't it illegal to write on currency?' He squinted his eyes and showed the bill to Hunk, who took it and examined it.

'Lance…' Hunk rolled his eyes. 'He just gave you his number.' He laughed loudly and pointed the number written on the bill.

'I know!' He exclaimed gesturing with his hands.

'He must really like you... Well, I mean... he did try to ask you out a couple times before...' 

'No he didn’t! I would have noticed.' Lance crossed his arms insulted. 

'He did, and you didn’t.' Hunk gave the bill back to Lance. 'He’s nice, you should text him.' Hunk shrugged and went back to do his chores.

Lance took the money back and shoved it in his pocket. He didn’t really want to think about it. Yes, he did find him nice. He was actually very cute too, suntan skin, blondish hair, a little shorter than him. Not bad at all. Also, he was a very funny guy. 

But no, he didn't want to date anybody right now… Or did he?

Lance sighed, taking the broom and finishing swiping the floor. 

After an hour they were all done. They closed the truck and hanged out a small "Closed" sign at the front. The _‘Altean cuisine_ ’ food truck was pretty, all yellow with blue details, and although it was fairly small, it was enough for the two of them, and most important it was enough for the business.

Lance and Hunk walked out of the food truck funfair and headed straight to the beach. The streets were pretty empty which was odd for a summer afternoon, but the heat was not going to decline any time soon and it was still too hot for people to come outside. 

Lance liked it when it was empty outside. It wasn’t like he disliked the people or the tourists but sometimes he craved the silence.

Hunk stopped at the corner that led to the forest they had to go through to get to the beach.

'You go ahead. I’ll go home to get our stuff.'

'Thanks man, see you in a bit.'

 

Lance immediately took off his shoes when he got to the beach, he really loved the feeling of sand under his feet. He took a deep breath and walked towards the sea. The beach was empty too. It never had that many people though, as it was pretty well hidden behind that forest. And that was the reason he and Hunk decided to buy the nearest house too.

Lance glanced at the wooden house over the hill. 

Their house was pretty old, but it was fine. Also, it was pretty big for two people, but at the time it was on sale and it was perfect for them.

He took off his tank top and tossed it on the sand along with his shoes and cell phone. The dark sweaty skin of his torso shimmering slightly under the sunlight. Lance closed his eyes and felt the sun on his skin. He liked this. This life. It may seem monotonous, but it was just what he wanted. After all they went through he needed the tranquility the sea gave him. 

Hunk wasn't back yet, but he wouldn't get mad if Lance took a short swim without him. 

Lance was a good swimmer. A very great one in fact. He also really enjoyed it... being underwater, just floating, or anything. He liked water. 

The sea was at the perfect temperature. Not cold, but cool enough to shake off the heat of the day. 

After a few minutes he decided he was too tired to swim for that much longer, so instead, he just stayed there floating. Eyes closed, arms and legs spread. The water under his body and the heat of the sun on top making the perfect combination of sensations on his skin.

And he just floated, completely losing the track of time.

Lance glanced over the shore to see if Hunk had arrived, but he wasn’t there yet. Worried, he swam back and took his phone. There was a text from Hunk.

 

**Hunk:** Had to use the bathroom. be there in a few.  
 **Lance:** lol.

 

Lance snorted and browsed through his phone. Nothing interesting on social media as always. He kept scrolling down and only stopped when he saw an announcement for tomorrow's beach concert. He then remembered.

He looked inside his trunks pockets and there it was, the bill with Alan’s number on it. He stretched it a bit with his hands and noticed there was a smiley face at one of the corners. He definitely hadn’t seen that before.

Cute. 

Lance gazed at this phone, hesitantly, but opened his contact list nonetheless, adding Alan’s number. He then opened a blank text. 

**Lance:** Hey, Lance here :)

He immediately locked the screen and left the phone on the sand in front of him. He knew Hunk was right, this could be fun and exciting, but the small bump in his throat told him otherwise. And it wasn’t nervousness, he knew that much at least.

The phone vibrated.

**Alan:** hey Lance

Lance wondered if he should wait a few minutes before answering, but to be honest… he didn’t really care, and he actually hated a little when people took too long to answer a text.

Lance: sooo, who is playing at the concert tmrw???  
 **Alan:** a bunch of local bands. I know a few of them. There is one named Call of the Stars, theyre pretty cool. U should look them up.   
**Lance:** will do

Hunk appeared at that moment from behind. Lance screeched in surprise and moved the phone away, texting fast.

**Lance:** gtg. Hanging out with Hunk. c ya tmrw   
**Alan:** ;)

Hunk tried to peek but Lance was faster and hid his phone under his butt. 

'Who were you texting?' Hunk asked raising an eyebrow at Lance.

'Nobody.' Lance answered way too quickly. 'I mean you! I was texting you.' He looked mortified.

'No you weren’t.' Hunk gave him a sneaky smile.

'What?' 

Hunk didn’t have to say anything else, he knew Lance all too well. 

Lance groaned.

'I knew it!' 

'Ugh, can you stop please.'

'I haven’t said anything...'

'Yet!' 

'Oh come on Lance! I think he is nice, you two should totally go on a date.'

Lance blushed. He hadn’t been on a date in a while.

'We’ll see about that…' 

Hunk searched inside the bag he brought along. He took out two bottles of beer and handed one to his friend.

'Here.'

'Thanks.'

They opened their beers and drank in silence. 

Being with Hunk was always pleasant. They could talk about anything or nothing at all. It didn’t matter, they just appreciated each other’s company. 

They were about to open their third beer when suddenly there was a muffled sound.

'Ehh… I think your butt is ringing.'

'Oh yes, I can feel it.' Lance said reaching for his phone.

There was no number on the screen, but instead, it read: _Private number._

They looked at each other wide-eyed.

The phone kept ringing on Lance’s hand. 

'Just answer it!' Hunk blurted. 

Lance answered and pressed the speaker phone option.

'.... Pidge?' Hunk asked.

_'Hey, guys..._ ' Pidge answered, fake calm in her voice _'Uhh... Can you two be ready in about four Vargas? We are picking you up... You need to be ready.'_

'Oh Hello Pidge, how are you? It’s been a while. Yeah, we are fine thanks. Earth is fine too, you don’t need to worry.' Lance commented sarcastically. 

'What do you mean you are picking us up?' Hunk asking the important questions in life. 'Did something happened? Is everyone okay?'

_'Yeah.... I mean yes, everyone is fine. It's just... uh.'_

'Pidge?' Lance asked her softly, but a worried tone lingered the question.

On the other side of the call Pidge was hesitating about her plan, and after a few seconds of silence she decided she didn't want to tell them over the phone, that would just make them worry in advance. 

_'Yeah, sorry guys. Vacations are over. A few hours ago we received a... a distress call and... Well, we decided to get the team together so we can decide how to proceed next.'_ Pidge lied, and she was hoping it didn’t sound as fake as she felt it coming out of her mouth. She felt bad for lying to them, but the situation was already complicated as it was, and Pidge knew Lance and Hunk were not going to understand the whole situation if she just explained over the phone.

'So, you are like... coming for us... coming to Earth... in... four hours??' Lance was so confused. He needed to ask so many questions. 

'Yes! Please be ready. I’m going on Green with the new invisibility cloaking device I put on her. Same place right?' 

'Yes, same place.' Hunk chuckled, shaking his head.

'I promise you I'll explain everything once you two are in the castle.'

'You better!' Lance warned, and Pidge hanged up after that.

They stayed there, sitting in silence, the sound of the waves washing over any logical thought passing through their minds. Neither of them could get their minds around it. It had been such a long time since they saw the team together, it was exciting, to say the least, but there was something bothering Lance, something was not right and he could feel it in Pidge’s voice.

Lance got up.

'Don’t you think she was… hiding something?' He looked at Hunk, frowning.

'She definitely was... but right now we need to get ready.' Hunk got up too and picked up their stuff. 'Come on.' He said walking towards the forest.

Lance stared at the sea for a few seconds longer before following Hunk.

 

___________

 

While Hunk went to leave their cat Koko with some old nice lady they knew, Lance was packing everything he thought he could need. He already had all his face products packed. Lotions, moisturizers, face masks, and a bunch of other stuff. He also had his clothes packed up.

Now he was gathering things for his entertainment on the castle. His cell phone, his music, some books, a few movies, a camera, his laptop. A few notebooks just in case. A Rubik's cube. 

He took pretty much everything. He was as ready as he could be, and he had already talked with his family too.

Hunk came back about an hour later.

'Koko didn’t want to leave my arms.' He pouted.

'Hey, it's okay.' Lance came over and gave him a hug. 'We'll be back before you know it.' 

'Yeah, I know.'

'And Mrs. Sanchez is going to take good care of her.'

'She will. She really loves that cat.' Hunk smiled.

'Now get your stuff ready, we only have one hour before Pidge gets here.' Lance took his backpack and started heading out. 'I’m all done, so I’m gonna head to the fair see if I can find some souvenirs for everyone.'

'Aww, you are the sweetest.' Hunk joked with a corny voice. 'Just don’t forget about the sign! Also don't be late, I have the feeling that we are kind of in a hurry... so, yeah.'

'Right, see you in a little.' Lance waved goodbye and took the sign with him.

They needed to let their customers know they we going on an unexpected “vacation”. Lance hung up the sign on the truck and sighed heavily. He wished he had more time before leaving, he wanted to explain and say goodbye to a few people. After all, they didn't know when they were coming back, but Hunk was right, they were probably in a rush.

He then continued to his shopping duties. He had some ideas of what to get each one. But if he wanted to make all the stops he intended to he needed to hurry.

He looked at his wristwatch.

8:10 pm.

He had 50 minutes. He’ll make it. 

 

______

 

It was 9:20 pm and Lance was not back from his shopping spree… but Pidge wasn’t there either. Hunk was sitting outside their house waiting for both of them.

He tried calling Lance again.

Voicemail. 

'Damn it Lance.' he cursed out loud. 

He then felt a cold breeze out of nowhere.

'Be careful with that mouth, Shiro's very serious about good language.' Pidge voice said, but Hunk couldn’t see her.

She sneaked behind him and grabbed him by the shoulders.

'Oh my- Pidge!!' Hunk screamed angrily.

She laughed lightheartedly and turned off the cloaking device. The two friends stared at each other and laughed out loud, embracing the other in a tight hug. 

While they were waiting for Lance they loaded all the bags and suitcases. Most of them belonged to Lance, but Hunk also had his good share of luggage. 

'Looks like you guys really _are_ moving into the castle.' Pidge joked. 'Where is Koko?' She asked looking around the living room. 

'Ah, you missed her by a few hours. We left her with Mrs. Sanchez'

'Bummer... Well, we really need to get going. Where is Lance? Can you call him again?’ Pidge urged him and sat on the floor.

Hunk threw himself on one of the couches, dust floating on the air when his body hit the cushions. 

'I already did! He is not answering.' Hunk coughed. 

Pidge glanced at her watch 'I’ll give him 5 minutes, if he's not here by then, we are leaving-' But she could not finish that sentence as the door burst open and Lance came in, hands full with shopping bags.

'And leave _ME_ here??' Lance smirked 'Oh little Pidge, you don’t know how much that team needs me.' 

Pidge glared at him. 

'Well actually, not that much. Matt could easily replace you…' She shrugged, standing up. She was taller than the last time they saw each other but Lance was still taller than her by a lot. 

Lance raised an eyebrow. They stared at each other for a few seconds but then Pidge smiled and gave him a hug.

'You dumb shit, of course we couldn’t replace you.' She admitted. Voice muffled by Lance’s clothes. 

'I know pidgeon, I missed you too.' He tightened the hug. 

'Didn’t we have to go?' Hunk interrupted.

'Don’t be jealous Hunk, you can hug me too.' Lance winked at him.

'Uh… Actually... I was thinking of maybe... explaining everything to you... now.' 

'Oh... Okay.' Lance dropped his bags near the door and sat beside Hunk. 

Pidge crossed her legs on the floor, sitting in front of them, not really knowing where to start. 

She took a deep breath.

'About 12 hours ago we... I mean... Keith came back to the castle…' 

'What happened?' Hunk asked sitting up straight.

'He-'

'Why did you lie to us? Is he okay?' Lance's voice was hard and serious know.

'He is! He is physically fine. I’m sorry, I really am… I just didn’t want to tell you over the phone.' 

'Wait... What do you mean physically?' Hunk frowned.

'Pidge, just tell us what happe-'

'We don't know!’ She interrupted fidgeting her fingers. ‘That's the thing... He came back on Red, they were both in a pretty bad shape. Keith is physically fine, we put him in a healing pod... However, when he regained consciousness he kinda didn’t recognize me- any of us.' She finished. Her lips sealed in a tight line.

The two boys stayed silent.

'… We need to decide how to proceed next… and for that, we need you guys.' 

'I don't understand... How could he not-'

'Lance please, I don't know. I really don't know. Let's just get back to the castle, there you'll see it for yourself.' Pidge stood up and left the house. She didn’t want to keep explaining because she really didn't know what was going on.

'Fuck...' Lance cursed, fear rising in his chest.

'Hey-'

'What if he doesn’t… what if he doesn’t recognize…’ But he couldn’t finish. ‘I can’t-I mean- I just...'

Hunk stopped him, putting a hand on his shoulder. 'I’m sure he will, Lance... Let’s just go, okay?' 

Lance nodded.

Hunk turned off all the lights and left the house locking the door behind them. 

Lance closed his eyes and took a deep breath. 

He was beyond scared, he didn’t know what would happen if Keith didn’t know who he was... and he couldn’t help but remember all the times he thought on calling him, on sending him a message, on just asking him how he was… but he didn’t, not one time… and he could not remember why.

He opened his eyes and shook his head. It didn’t matter, now he could only hope for the best.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	4. Guiding light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slowly we get more klance content 
> 
> My beta: Secretlyadragon on Tumblr.

Keith opened his eyes very abruptly, blurry spots coming into sight, immediately trying looking around to see where he was, but that wasn't necessary he knew he was in the Castle again, and this time his wrist and ankles were tied to the bed he was laying on. He tried to sit up, but a wave of dizziness invaded his head making the room spin around him. He lay back down and shut his eyes tight trying to make it pass. It wasn’t terrible but he was definitely not expecting it. He opened his eyes again when the feeling-toned down. Moving his wrist and ankles he noticed that the ties weren’t restraining him, they were just holding him in place.

It took him about ten minutes to untie himself completely. 

He sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed and looking at the door. He was exhausted and he didn’t really want to encounter any of his former team members- his friends. If this was a new way of torturing him, it was definitely working. Everything looked so real, everything smelt and _felt_ so real. 

And that was the thing, everything felt _too_ real. 

If he was honest with himself, the moment he saw Shiro appear there was a small part of him that thought that this was actually happening. That he was back. Keith's chest clenched tightly at that thought, but seeing Shiro just wasn’t enough and he knew. He had had a whole range of hallucinations before, seeing things and even feeling his touch didn’t mean anything.

He got out of bed and just as he was preparing for getting out of there, he heard voices outside the room. He cursed himself for not being fast enough, now he’ll just have to fight his way out of this. He assumed a defensive position and waited, hoping for the worst. But worst didn’t even begin to describe the feeling when the door opened.

Pidge was there again, but along with her was the rest of the team. _Every single one of them._ He stared at them blankly trying to desperately find a reason, any reason for this, there wasn't any, of course, and he found Lance’s eyes on him. 

Keith felt his resolution completely fade in less than a second, and he tried to stay put and think of anything he could do, but he already felt his throat tightening and burning inside him. 

Nobody said anything, nobody move or dare do anything, like if suddenly time had stopped in the Castle of Lions.

Keith wanted to stop looking at them, to not give them the satisfaction of falling for this, but he was already so lost. And it still, somehow, felt different than the dream he had on the beach with Lance, almost like… 

‘Keith…’ He heard Lance’s voice in the distance softly calling.

Keith closed his eyes tight and felt his knees hitting the floor. He knew he was not going to make it. 

'Please-’ His voice cracked. ‘Just end this, I can’t-I can’t take it anymore.' He begged. 'Do whatever you want with me, but please... stop this. Please just stop.' 

He heard footsteps coming closer to him, but he did not dare to look up. He clenched his fists, digging his nails on the palm of his hands in a desperate attempt to wake up. 

‘Keith, it’s us.’ Hunk said. He along with Pidge and Lance had approached where he was kneeling in the middle of the room.

'Stop that!' 

Keith saw Lance in the corner of his eye trying to grab his hands, but Keith jerked back.

'Please don’t… Don’t you touch me.' Keith exhaled tiredly. He felt like he was going crazy, everything was spinning around him. He looked around the room, his eyes lost in the distance, and it suddenly was so hard to breathe.

Lance stared at him worried, he opened his mouth but not a word came out. Pidge slowly kneeled in front of him and reached for his hands, and Keith let her. 

'Keith... it really is us, please tell us what happened. Let us help you.' She pleaded, rubbing her thumbs on Keith’s still clenched fists.

Keith laughed under his breath, looking at her with wide eyes.

'What do you mean what happened? THIS IS ALL YOU.' He took his hand off of Pidge's, he wanted to stand up but Pidge grabbed his arms, and he forced with her grip, really trying to get away from her, but his strength was faltering. He felt the warm of Pidge’s hands on him, and it drove him crazy.

'I’ll do anything, _anything you want._ I promise... I’ll cooperate, I’ll- please stop this.' He yelled, forcing violently against Pidge, but she wasn’t letting go. Hunk came by her side helping her keep him on the ground. Keith tried really hard to get off their grip.

'I beg you.' And he looked at Lance, blue eyes staring back at him. '...Just _kill me_ already… please.' He whispered. Lance’s expression was so carefully neutral, but Keith saw in his eyes a dull glow that should definitely not be there, not if this was… 

Keith shook his head angrily, closing his eyes to stop looking at him.

Lance frowned beside him and swallowed hard the lump in his throat. His breathing was elaborated and he was really trying to control it, but what Keith’s said really got to him. And he was so so mad at him, but taking a deep breath he calmed himself down and got himself behind Keith, bear-hugging him tightly. He just wanted Keith to stop moving.

‘No, no, let me go!’ Keith fought against Lance’s tight arms around him.

'Calm down, you dumbass. Nobody is going to kill you.' Lance blurted, trying to regain his voice but still not managing it completely. He tightened his grip even more and he could feel Keith’s breathe more difficulty. 

‘Stop it, Keith.’

‘No.’ He gasped for air.

Lance loosened his grip only a little, afraid of hurting Keith. 

'Keith, please. It's us- it’s me. It’s Lance.' He whispered burying his face on the back of Keith’s neck.

'No, it’s not!’ He said a lot quieter this time but still struggling against him. 'It’s not you, you are not real, you are not-’ Keith could not finish that sentence as his breathing got caught in his throat, but it wasn’t because of Lance, not because of the tight grip around him. He stayed still with his eyes lost in the distance, brows furrowed and very confused. He knew, he absolutely _knew_ this was a dream, there was no other option, not for Keith, not for what he knew, but... but he could feel Lance’s heartbeat against his back. 

He closed his eyes. That was not real, it couldn’t be, it just… it must have been his imagination. But the stillness in the room made him feel it even louder. Lance's heart was beating so fast against his back, he could almost _hear_ it.

'Keith!' Pidge worried.

That wasn’t real, that wasn’t Lance, his mind repeated nonstop, but Lance felt so warm against his motionless body, and Keith noticed that he was too holding his breath. And there was a part of him that didn’t want to believe, but not because he didn’t want to, but because if this wasn’t he didn’t think he could recover. But it was so easy to give in now. Now that all his friends were right in front of him, now that he was back at the castle, now that he could feel Lance’s heart beating more calmly. 

Keith finally breathed, and Lance did too.

So he decided to believe, even if there was a chance that this was a hallucination. But he would not feel this warm inside if it was... This had to be real, it _had_ to.

‘Keith?’ Pidge called again.

Keith opened his eyes and looked around hesitantly, but everything was calm.

'Uhh... Lance, I think you can let go now' Hunk chuckled. 

Lance hesitated but let go. Hunk helped Keith get up and held him by the shoulders.

‘Is this… real?’ He whispered roughly. 

Pidge’s eyes filled with tears and she wrapped his arm around him. Lance and Hunk following behind.

Keith felt calm for the first time in a long time.

 

_____________

 

 

Everyone asked what happened to him, but Keith did not have an answer. He didn’t know, he didn’t remember.

 

______________

They were all sitting in the kitchen watching Keith eat his third bowl of food goo. 

After everything calmed down, the team checked on Keith’s stats and vitals once again. Then Allura ordered him to eat something to regain his strength. Which was not a bad idea, considering he traveled unconscious in Red for what seemed like a few days. 

He felt physically fine though, just as the medical report from the pod said. On the other hand, his mind was still feeling a bit foggy, and it didn’t help that had a headache now, a product of his confusion and the amount of information he was receiving. 

But he felt fine nonetheless, which was strange given that he apparently had been missing for more than a year.

The team slowly updated him on everything that had happened since Red almost crushed against the castle. Red was alright by the way, he had recovered just fine with a little bit of help from Pidge and Coran. He did not have any recording of what occurred to both of them. His memory had been erased just like Keith’s. 

Keith really tried to recall anything that could be helpful, but with all the things he remembered the team could only conclude that he was captured and used for some unknown purpose, along with Red. 

'Wait, I have a question...' Pidge said. The team looking at her. 'Why did you call me Awkan back when you first wake up?'

'What?' Keith asked, mouth full of goo.

'You called me Awkan, you thought I was Awkan or something- _someone_ like that.'

'Oh!’ Keith swallowed fast. ‘That’s… what they call themselves' He said quietly scratching the back of his head. He completely forgot to mention that.

'Are you sure that’s their name?' Allura asked him 'We couldn’t find anything on our database'

'Uh… yeah… I may not remember their faces but they…’ Keith wasn’t sure how to say it. ‘... They made sure I knew who they were.’ He grimaced. 

Shiro cursed under his breath.

'So... what are we going to do?' Lance asked. ‘Are we going after them?’

'We don’t really have any useful information' Hunk pointed out. 'Sorry Keith, no offense.'

'None taken.'

'So… I think we should start by somehow finding out who are these Awkan people.'

'Yes, I was thinking maybe we could go to Kubrionov.' Coran commented 'I know they gather information from the whole universe.'

'Like a huge library?' Pidge asked enthusiastically.

'More or less. Although, they don’t like visitors. They may kick us out of their planet before we can even say _Colcoatlin Nexam Lamnords._ '

'What?' Hunk frowned.

'But it is a friendly planet nonetheless. We’ll have to try anyways' Allura said thoughtfully. 

'Is not a bad start.' Shiro nodded in her direction.

'Not at all!' Allura approved. 'We can take a few days before traveling. You must be tired Keith.’

'No, I’m fine!' Keith answered quickly 'I don’t want to take time off. We need to know what these guys are doing, we don’t know if they have other captured like me. Day we rest, day they get farther away from us.' He said firmly, trying to look as lively as he could.

Allura and Shiro didn’t look very convinced, but his teammates supported him. 

'I’m with Keith.’ Pidge declared. ‘With what little information we have, I can only assume these Awkan know Keith is gone, but probably don’t know we found him yet. Once they do,they must absolutely know we will go after them. We should take advantage of what time we have.' Pidge urged. 

Lance and Hunk nodded in agreement. 

'I guess you are right.' Shiro sighed. 'We’ll start traveling tomorrow. Tonight we are going to sleep... And that’s an order.' He added looking pointedly at Pidge, but she only rolled her eyes. 

 

__________

 

Keith went directly to his room as he felt himself being consumed by lack of sleep. The other paladins, against Shiro’s order, went to Pidge’s workshop and hanged out. She and Hunk were trying to figure out a new communication system for the Castle, and Lance just wanted to spend some time with them. 

As much as Keith missed his friends, and wanted to catch up with them, it could wait. He was exhausted, but he also wanted to be alone to gather his thoughts. Part of him was so happy for being back with his family, but the other part was still a bit skeptical. Everything was going so suspiciously well that he feared this was still a dream. 

But he made himself shake that thought away, blaming it on the lack of sleep.

In his room, he found a few old belongings. Some stuff he left there before leaving for his journey, some other stuff from the different planets he had visited during those years, they must have found them inside Red. One of those things was a rare knife made out of _Red Blenor_. He always kept it well hidden inside his lion, and lucky for him the Awkan didn’t find it. 

Keith threw himself on the bed, sighing at the relief of laying down. He closed his eyes and started to drift away almost immediately, and he was a few seconds away from falling asleep when he took a deep breath catching the smell of dry blood and dirt. He couldn't remember the last time he took a shower or if he even had showered during the last year. He opened his eyes taking a look at his suit. He had the faintest memory of wearing this suit not that long ago, before being captured, but it could be a fake memory too. The suit was barely holding though. 

Gathering all his strength, he got up, took a towel from the closet and headed to the bathroom. 

The water was burning hot when he got in the shower, just the way he liked it, and he could feel his muscles relax under it. He untied his ponytail and started washing his hair. His body hadn’t changed a lot since he left the castle years ago. He grew a little less than an inch taller and clearly got more muscle on him, especially on his thighs and arms. His hair got longer too and reached his shoulders evenly. Altogether he just looked mature. Like a young adult. Apart from that, he had a few new scars over his body that just added to the ones he got during their time of war.

He took a very long shower, he deserved it. When he finished, the whole bathroom was filled with steam. He dried his hair a little and covered his lower body with the towel. Putting on his Paladin pajamas he lied in bed, sleep catching on him right away. 

It wasn’t long after he fell asleep when he started having a nightmare. He was running through one of the castle corridors and a woman was screaming. He did not recognize the voice of the person, but he knew he had to save her. The screaming got worse as he was getting closer to its source and just before he could get to the woman he woke up. 

He was all sweaty once again and a bit nauseous. He checked if he needed to run to the bathroom, but thankfully all the food he had ingested stayed inside his stomach. He should’ve guessed that he was going to have nightmares.

Mad at himself for not thinking what was fairly obvious, he got up and left his room, roaming in the hallways of the Castle, letting his feet take him wherever they wanted, he didn’t care, he just needed to clear his mind, and he hadn’t seen the castle in so long everything was a welcome sight to him. 

Few minutes into his excursion Keith found himself in Red’s hangar. Keith was relieved when he found the lion looking the same as always. He hadn’t seen him consciously in a very, very long time. He was about to ask Red to let him in when he caught a small snore. Red was sleeping. Keith laughed, he didn’t know Red liked to sleep, is not like he needed it. He decided not to wake him and went to check on Black.

Years ago, when he left the Castle for his journey, he had asked Allura if he could take one of the lions with him, as Voltron was no longer needed as the defender of the universe. Surprisingly, Allura had agreed and given him permission to do so. At that moment he was still paladin of the black lion, but for some strange reason, he felt Red’s energy calling for him. And that’s how he ended up traveling the universe in the Red Lion.

Having nowhere else he wanted to go, he wandered the castle fighting his sleep. When he found himself for the third time in front of his bedroom door, he decided to look for somewhere to go instead of walking randomly. That’s how Keith found a room he didn’t know existed. It had a window from wall to wall. He knew there were similar rooms in the castle but this one just felt different. Keith wondered if that room existed before he left, he sure wished he had discovered it back then. He could see the whole universe outside the castle, it was amazing and so very peaceful. The room was huge so he decided to sit close to the window, his back against what looked like a low barrier for people not to get too close to the glass. He didn’t care though. 

The room had an orange glow inside that made everything seem calmer.

In the same way sleeping was not a good idea, staying awake with all those thoughts rounding his head wasn’t either. He had so many questions about that year and a half he disappeared, and the worst part was that absolutely no one could answer those questions for him.

He closed his eyes determined to put his thoughts on some other topic. 

His friends were well, that was something. Red was fine, and he was alive. Simple happy thoughts, but that just lasted a few minutes obviously. 

Keith breathing started increasing, his palms sweating. He was scared. He wanted to find the Awkan. He wanted to know what happened, he wanted answers. At the same time, he couldn’t get out of his mind the feeling that maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to remember everything that had happened. And that intrusive thought bothered him a lot more than not knowing. There was also the uncertainty of who were these guys that kidnapped him, or what was their deal with Keith, but that was also written under the list of questions without answer. The only thing he was certain of was that they were dangerous, very dangerous. This was going to be risky businesses, and involving his friends in it gave him more fear than peace. 

He needed to cool down.

Breathe in.

Breathe out. 

Breathe in.

Breathe ou-.

'Are you okay?' Keith felt a hand touching his shoulder and he jumped back to reality. 

Lance immediately took back his hand from Keith’s shoulder, looking at him like he was about to burst into some kind of rage state or something. 

Keith sighed. 

'You are Lance, I’m Keith, I’m completely fine, I’m not going to kill you.' Keith said harshly looking at the window. 'Although I might punch you for scaring me like that.' 

'Sorry, didn’t mean to... I was just-'

'Checking on me. I know...' 

'…'

'…'

'Can I sit?'

Keith nodded and patted the floor beside him. 

'So, what are you doing here?' Keith asked raising one eyebrow. 

'I could ask you the same.' 

'Well yeah, but I asked first.’ The comment sounding a lot sharper than he intended to.

'.... I wanted to talk to you. That’s all.' Lance shrugged, looking through the window.

Keith looked at him suspiciously.

'Did you follow me?' 

'No… well yes, but is not like-’

'Aha, sure Lance.' 

'I wanted to talk to you. I went to your room and you weren’t there. I heard footsteps down the corridor and saw you and-'

'And you followed me.' Keith smirked at him. 

‘Stop interrupting.’ Lance was getting annoyed. 'Okay yes, I followed you. Sorry, but you are the weird one taking a walk in the middle of the night. You also stayed here for an awful lot of time doing nothing.' 

'…you are such a creep.’ He whispered.

‘Ugh, you are insufferable.’ Lance grunted but he was smiling. 

Keith chuckled silently, shaking his head.

'So…' Keith said taking a deep breath and turning to face Lance. 'What did you want to talk about?'

Lance kept silent for a few seconds, looking anywhere but Keith.

'Okay, this might sound a little rude, but…’ Lance opened his mouth a few times before getting out the words. ‘I just don’t believe you when you say you are fine…' He said quietly stopping to see how Keith reacted but his face was completely neutral. 'I want you to tell me the truth, please.' 

Keith sighed and went back facing the window. Lance doing the same. 

'It does sound fake as fuck...' He chuckled. 'But I really am fine.' Lance shuffled beside him, Keith knew he was not going to take that as an answer. 'I am fine. I feel as good as any other day before... before all this happened. I don’t feel weird or anything out of the ordinary…’

He stopped to see if Lance wanted to say something, but he was quietly looking at the stars.

'I’m really confused though… and it feels weird.’ He continued 'Not remembering anything that happened... and also...' Keith looked at the floor, he was a bit embarrassed about saying it out loud '... I guess I still feel like I’m dreaming… like at any moment I’m going to wake up in my cell-room. These memories not being anything else that some kind of bad dream.’ Keith finished, and he could feel his heart going faster, and his chest tightening a little at the thought. 

‘Bad dream?’ Lance questioned.

‘How good can it be if I don’t get to stay?’ 

‘Oh…’

‘Yeah…’ Keith looked at lance from the corner of his eye.

'Is not a dream though.' Lance smiled at him softly.

'I'm counting on that...' 

Keith brought his knees to his chest, hugging them closely.

'Can I ask something of you?' He wasn’t really thinking things through, but he just needed the reassurance of that moment, he needed to get himself back to the reality that he wanted to be true.

'Sure thing. What do you need... or want?' 

'Can I just-' Keith didn’t finish but he grabbed Lance’s wrist with his right hand, gently wrapping his fingers around it, and hiding his face between his knees. 

Lance blushed but didn’t comment on it and let Keith do whatever he intended to do, he didn’t mind. 

After a few minutes, Keith let go.

'Thanks.' 

'Mmhm.' 

And Lance wanted to ask what was that about, but he didn’t, it wasn’t the moment. They remained in silence for a long while, just watching the universe unfold in front of their eyes, both of them slowly drifting away in their sleep.

Lance abruptly jerked awake from a mini nap like he had a sudden realization, and shook Keith awake beside him. 

'Crap! I forgot to give you your present.' He said standing up and running to the door.

'Wait-What?' Keith asked sleepily.

'Just stay here, I’ll be right back.' Lance disappeared through the door without saying anything else. 

'A present?' Keith repeated to himself rubbing his eyes, trying his hardest not to fall asleep again.

Two minutes passed and Lance came back.

'You kinda ran off like a runaway bride after the whole reunion thing.' He was holding something behind his back.

Keith raised an eyebrow and Lance handed a small brown package to him. It had a little red bow on the center. He kept another one behind him, but Keith didn’t notice. 

Keith grabbed the package shyly. 

'Wh-why is this exactly?' Keith coughed trying to keep cool. 

'No specific reason really. I just wanted to bring you all something from earth.' Lance shrugged. 

'... Thanks.' Keith smiled at his friend. 'Can I return it if I don’t like it?' He asked raising an eyebrow at him. 

Lance gasped offended and took the present back from Keith’s hands.

'Hey!' Keith exclaimed.

'I ain’t giving you shit. Maybe Allura will appreciate my gift a little more...'

Keith squinted his eyes at Lance.

'Just give it back.' Keith struggled to take back his present but ultimately he reclaimed it from Lance’s hands. He unwrapped the present carefully and inside it, there was a black t-shirt that had a green oval-shaped alien head printed on the center front.

Keith slowly turned his head at Lance trying to look serious but Lance’s face was already contorted by the laughter he was holding. 

They both burst into laughter. 

‘This is such a Lance gift.’

‘Sorry, couldn’t help it.’ 

'You know... Aliens don’t actually look like this.' Keith said pointing at the print.

'Well, they didn’t have one with your face printed on. Believe me, I searched.'

Keith punched him on the thigh. 

'Rude.' he tried to sound angry but he couldn’t hide his laughter. Keith took his shirt off putting the new one on. Lance caught a glimpse of a very ugly looking scar above Keith's hip bone but didn't make any comment.

'It's very soft.' 

‘I’m really glad you like it, but now… this…’ Lance brought a small box from behind him and left it in front of Keith. ‘This is the real present.’ 

Keith was out of words, so he just took the box and opened it

'... I don’t really know If you are going to like it…' Lance said uneasily. 

Inside there was a very thin necklace chain with a small clock hanging from it. He examined it in his hand, it was gold, shiny and very pretty. 

'It has Earth real time… like from the place I live in...’ He scratched the back of his neck nervously ‘I know you and Earth… but it just... Yeah...' Lance rambled staring at Keith, waiting for an answer.

Keith closed his palm feeling the clock’s ticking in his hand, a comforting kind of feeling flowing inside his body.

'Do you like it? 

'Yeah, I do... ' Keith said unlocking the chain and putting it around his neck. 'Thanks, Lance.' 

Lance sighed in relief very dramatically. Keith rolled his eyes. 

'Hey, how do you know aliens don’t actually look like that?'

'Uhh... I guess I don’t. But all the aliens I’ve seen, none of them looked like this.’ He shrugged.

Lance squinted his eyes thoughtfully.

‘But… what about that guy in the space mall?’

‘Who?’

‘The one who gave us Kaltenecker!’ 

‘Oh… oh yeah! That’s right.’

‘Checkmate buddy, my t-shirt is the most authentic present ever.’ 

Keith snorted.

‘But he wasn't green? Not this green at least.' He chuckled. 'But yeah… I guess I didn’t encounter anybody that looked like this in all the planets I visited… and I did visit many. Trust me on that.' He nodded energetically. 

'Oooh right, Keith Kogane space traveler knows so much about aliens and planets and stuff.' 

'... I do know a bit...' Keith mumbled, glaring at Lance.

Lance laughed really loud.

'Gosh, Keith.' Lance smiled. He got up and reached a hand to help Keith do the same. 'As much as I would love to interrogate you about your stupid journey, we need to go to sleep or Shiro is going to find out we stayed here all night, and kill us most probably.'

Keith took Lance’s hand and stood up. 

'He probably already knows.' Keith laughed.

 

Keith got to his room after accompanying Lance to his. Well, not like accompanying him, more like walking with him. For some reason, the younger paladin rooms were pretty close to each other, and Lance was first down the corridor. Keith laid down on his bed and didn’t know if he was just very very tired or what, but he felt a warm coziness in his chest. 

Feeling the ticking of his new clock against his chest he fell asleep fast. He did not have any nightmares for the rest of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> [ X ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K9jmjXDQ5MQ)


	5. Left unsaid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My beta: Secretlyadragon on Tumblr.

Lance had such a pleasant night of sleep that when he woke up he didn't know where he was. It took him a few minutes to actually start up his brain and remember. He stayed put, laying on his back looking at the ceiling. It was a strange feeling, being back. He couldn't place the exact emotion, but it wasn't bad. It was like coming back to an old routine. The feeling like everything is still the same, but at the same time, everything has changed so much. Or maybe it wasn't that, maybe he was the one that changed. Still, he was happy to be back with his space family, that was for sure.

He took a shower, got dressed and headed to the kitchen. For a moment, Lance was hoping to find somebody there, but actually got relieved when he found the room empty. He was in need of some alone time at the moment. 

On the center island of the kitchen, there was a note from Hunk: "Made some edible breakfast, left some for you in the fridge."

Domestic Hunk was the best, but he already knew that. He was obviously the main chef in their house back on earth, although Lance was not far behind on cooking skills. The difference was that now they were back in space and that Lance did not know how to make food goo taste good, like at all. That was a special skill only Hunk had. 

After he finished eating he decided to go and pay a visit to his friend. Lance knew Hunk was in the workshop trying to work on the new communication system, but when he got there, Hunk was deep in conversation with the mice. Apparently, they were helping Hunk get some wiring details on a weird looking device, so Lance decided not to distract his friend. Let him had his fun. 

He didn't know where to go next, he wasn't sure if he really wanted to talk to people that morning. So he wandered in the Castle halls admiring what he had called home years ago, what was still his home. He had missed this so much, more than he dared to admit. He had missed the castle, the planets, the people, and the neverending infinite of space, and his friends… and… 

Lance felt a soft purr inside his mind, so gentle, almost motherlike… Blue was calling for him. He smiled to himself and without even thinking twice he headed to the hangars. He hadn’t seen her in years but with all that had happened he hadn’t exactly had time to visit.

He sat on the paladin seat inside Blue, nostalgic memories washing over him like the sun in a cold afternoon. Blue’s presence surrounded him, kind and welcoming. She missed him too. And Lance started to drift away in Blue’s safe embrace when he felt another presence in his mind.

'Hi Red.' He chuckled. 'I missed you too, buddy.' And Lance felt a rush of overwhelming feelings from the lion. ‘I’m glad you are okay and… thank you… for bringing Keith back safely… don’t tell him though!’ Lance added quickly, and Red purred back.

The two lions soothing his mind. 

Years ago, after the war ended, Blue let him in again, but Red didn’t close to him, so now he had two lions that cared very much for him. Lance always wondered what was what made both the lions accept him to be their pilot, but that wasn’t a question that really needed to be answered as there was no need to form Voltron anymore. Now Lance was just happy to have two lions that cared very much for him.

He lost track of time sitting inside Blue, and it took him all his will to actually get out of there, but he knew that he probably should be doing something a little more useful to their mission, even if he didn’t know what.

The control room was empty when he walked in. The castle was on autopilot, and as fast as they were going Lance could still see the stars and planets that were farther away. He decided to ignore that little voice in the back of his mind that was telling him to look for the others to see what they were doing and sat on his paladin seat to stare at the stars.

He was so lost in thought, he didn’t hear the doors sliding open and jumped when he felt something cold touching his shoulder. 

'Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. You were really off though. Something wrong?' Shiro asked standing next to his seat.

'Nothing really…' Shiro raised an eyebrow at him, and Lance could not pinpoint the moment when he became such a bad liar. He sighed. 'I guess is just odd... to be here again. Just 7 human beings… Well, actually 5 human beings… or four and a half?' He laughed nervously. 

'How was it on earth?' Shiro wasn't asking to intrude, he was genuinely curious.

'It was awesome!' Lance face lighted up. 'Hunk and I bought a house by the beach. It's actually pretty huge for the both of us but is _soooooooo_ cozy. There is room for everyone if you decide to visit us someday…'

'We sure will.' 

'Oh, and we have a food truck! We can cook pretty much anything you ask as long as we have the ingredients to make it, and you know, Hunk is a genius. His food is so good! And he is teaching me all his cooking secrets.' He said really proud of himself.

'Oh wow, you two actually had a job!' 

Lance squinted his eyes at Shiro. 'Well geez don't sound _too_ surprised.' 

'Is not that’ Shiro laughed. ‘Although it is very surprising that you have a food truck, I thought you were going to stay in the Garrison… you know help over there and such…’

'Yeah... I mean, we actually did for some time… after you left… but like...’ Lance was quiet for a second ‘… but none of you were going to be there... and I don't know... I kinda had enough space-related experiences for a lifetime.' Lance chuckled lowly, not really sure of his own answer.

‘And yet, here you are.’ Shiro pointed with a smirk on his face.

‘Well yeah, of course. What I mean was…’ but he didn’t know.

‘Do you like what you are doing though?’ Shiro asked him with the sightless guilty look on his face.

‘Yeah, it’s been good.’ Lance smiled looking at the stars passing in front of them.

‘I’m glad… Since we left you two on Earth things have been pretty peaceful here.’

'Thanks, Shiro.' Lance said sarcastically. 

'That's not what I mean. Everything is too quiet here, sometimes even kind of lonely... you know, just the four of us…' Shiro stared at Lance. 'We really missed you guys, and... I'm really sorry we didn't visit you in all this time.' He finished. His lips in a tight line.

There was the guilt, Lance thought. 

'Hey, we don't hold it against you. We both knew you had important stuff to do. Fixing the whole universe and such.'

'Thank you, Lance.' Shiro squeezed his shoulder and started leaving. 

The conversation could have ended there, but Lance couldn't help it. Word vomit.

'Can I tell you something?' Lance closed his eyes and just opened one to see if Shiro was still there. 

'Yes, of course.' He heard his footsteps coming closer again.

'I... I've actually never told anyone...' Lance scratched his head. 'I never felt a hundred percent comfortable back on earth... I don't know how to explain it.' He opened and closed his mouth a few times before he could actually get words out 'I guess I felt… divided? Like I wanted to be on earth, yes, but I also wanted to be with... with you guys. I always felt like I was missing part of myself…' Lance lowered his voice. 'Gosh I don't know why I'm telling you all this. So embarrassing.' He covered his face with his hands.

Shiro gave him a soft smile. 'Don't worry, I know how you feel.' Lance looked up at him. 'Just know that no matter where the rest of us are, we are family. We are always going to be there for you.' He smiled at Lance, and with that said Shiro left the control room. 

Lance held his knees near his chest and kept stargazing.

 

 

'Since when are you actually good at this.' Keith panted as he jumped to avoid Pidge's Bayard. He still didn't know how, but he had actually convinced Pidge to spar with him. 

'Rude!' She snorted. 'I've always been good at this.' She blocked Keith's sword and rolled over to the side. 'I'm just better than you now.' She huffed.

'You are so not.' Keith attacked Pidge once more and she lifted her shield to block it but the hit was much harder than she thought, making her fall on her butt and cross her arms in front of her to hold her shield in place. Keith rapidly prepared himself to give the final blow and end the fight, but seeing Pidge like that left him paralyzed. His chest tightened cutting his breathing instantly, fear running through his veins. It lasted only a fraction of a second, but it was long enough for Keith to lose control of his sword, and he tried to keep cool and make it pass as an “I have not sparred for ages” mistake, but Pidge saw it and took advantage. She rolled to the side and locked her legs between Keith's bringing him along.

They both ended up on the floor. Keith face down, Pidge pining him with an arm lock, knee pressing on his lower back. 

'Ah ah ah, stop it.' Keith tried to undo Pidge’s arm lock with no use 'Okay, okay! You are good!' 

'Told ya.' Pidge got off Keith and sat next to him on the floor, resting her Bayard on the floor. 'I do admit I had way too much free time these years.’

Keith turned over to his back, trying to calm his breathing pattern. He wasn’t listening to Pidge. He didn't know what just happened, and although, Pidge knew he had anxiety problems since the war ended, he really hoped she didn’t notice. This was different… this had never happened to him while sparring, not like this… and it didn’t make any sense. 

'Also,' Pidge poked Keith's cheek. 'You owe me money.’ She said smugly. 

'Ugh.' Keith groaned, focusing again on Pidge beside him. 

'That'll be twenty for sparring, fifty because my hair is longer than yours…' She chuckled. 'That makes a total of seventy… uh… we never said what kind of currency we were using for this.’

'That's not fair I _had_ to cut my hair because of.... reasons.' He blushed. That incident was a little embarrassing and he wasn't going to mention it. Keith sat up. 'BUT… you forget I'm still taller than you,' He beamed. 'and we bet a hundred on that, remember?'

'Nope, nopenopenope. That didn't happen.' 

Keith sighed, out of relief more than being annoyed. Okay, she didn't notice.

'Have you ever put thought into how are we going to get all the money we owe each other? Is not like we have a job.'

'Not really, but we'll figure something out. Maybe we can ask Hunk and Lance to employ us on their food truck… maybe rob a bank or something.' She shrugged. 

'Oh, Shiro would love that. Maybe we could even convince him to dye his hair of some funky color and join us.' Keith laughed sarcastically, still trying to get his breathing back to normal.

'Wanna bet on it?' Pidge glanced at him.

'Tempting... but no thanks.' 

Pidge laid down. 

'Hey... can I ask you something?' 

Or maybe she did notice. 

'.... What were you and Lance doing last night?' 

‘What?’ He blurted. He was definitely not expecting that. 'How do you even know that?' 

'Oh boy, I have eyes everywhere.' She wiggled her eyebrows at him. 

Keith frowned.

'Don't be gross. I just went to bed late last night and I heard both of you talking on the corridor' Keith didn't say anything. 'It's fine if you don't want to tell me though.’ She shrugged, staring at the ceiling.

Keith reached the necklace that was resting on his chest. 

'I couldn't sleep' Keith said rubbing his eyes, he was definitely going to have a headache, he felt it coming. 'He found me in that room with the huge window, just wanted to check on me.'

'I'm glad you guys are getting along.' 

'Hey! We've been getting along for a long time now.' He defended himself.

'I know, but many years have passed. Maybe you both became even more insufferable than you were before.' She said.

'... Yeah, you are totally right. We could be like you.' Keith grimaced. 

'I'm adorable. But anyway, my point is... I'm glad you're still friends.' 

'.... Yeah, me too…' Keith answered but it wasn’t more than a whisper. 

At that point, they heard a loud wave of static coming from the castle speakers. 

'What the fu-' 

_'Sorry about that guys'_ Coran voice apologized _'We are approaching Planet Kubrionov. I thought you would like to take a look'._

 

From space, Kubrionov looked completely blue, similar to Earth but unlike their home planet, there was no sight of any land. The readings on the castle telling them that it was almost completely inhabited, not living creatures lived in the sea or air but only in the one huge floating building the planet had. Apart from that everything was water or at least that's what it looked like. 

Everyone was already in the control room, looking at Coran who was typing very fast on his panel. 'Princess, I'm afraid Kubrionov's atmosphere is interfering with our controls.' 

The castle shook violently making the paladins lose balance. It was pretty much like old times, but Keith couldn’t shake the clenching feeling inside his chest. Fear. 

The castle was slowing down without Allura's command. 

'Is not the atmosphere! It’s an energy beam attracting us.’ Pidge said typing on her screen.

Keith went over to his seat but didn't know exactly what to do, his chest going up and down fast. Maybe Kubrionov was not friendly after all. 

The castle stopped moving altogether, they were being held by another kind of energy the castle did not recognize, at that point, a window appeared on the main screen. A tall and elegant being with turquoise skin and long skinny limbs came into view. It was wearing a white long dress and it was barefoot. 

_'Welcome Paladins of Voltron, we've been waiting for you. I'm Stana. If you, please land your spaceship on the hangar we have prepared for you. Only three of you may come with us. We’ll be waiting.'_

The transmission ended. 

Coran landed the castle on some kind of hangar that emerged from under the ocean, although it was still immersed in a few centimeters of water. 

'Doesn't this look suspicious?' Keith said unsure of his own words.

'You don't need to worry,' Allura started 'Kubrionov is a pacific, weapon-free planet. We have come here on a diplomatic mission. We’ll be safe.’

'Still, could be a trap.' Everyone was looking strangely at him now. 

'Keith, buddy, as much as I like to be careful, this mission looks as chill as it could get. Also, keep in mind they don't like visitors.' Hunk tried to ease any preoccupation Keith could have.

'Hunk is right. So, I was thinking Shiro, Keith and I should go. What do you think?' Allura asked the rest of the team.

'Sounds about right.' Pidge agreed.

'Fine with me. I'm not really into diplomatic meetings today.' Lance added and Hunk nodded to that. 

Keith opened his mouth to protest but not a sound came out.

'Alright then. Suit up, we'll leave in ten doboshes.' Allura walked out of the room.

 

 

Alone in the armor room, Keith felt like ice was running through his veins… yet his skin felt like molten lava. He tried to put his armor on but his hands, sweaty and cold, were trembling so intensely he couldn’t grab any of his paladin armor pieces. 

Everything was closing in on him, and he just wanted to run away.

He tried to keep the mission in mind, to really focus on what he had to do, and he shook his head trying to snap out of it, he could not afford to be such a burden to the team, not when this was all because of him, but the feeling wasn’t going away, and he couldn't even remember his breathing exercises. 

'We need to get going. Do you need any help with that?' Shiro entered the room already suited up, holding his helmet under his arm.

'I uh...' Keith tried to breathe but no air was going inside his lungs. 

'Keith, what’s wrong?' Shiro made him sit down. 

'Shiro… I can’t…’ Keith’s breathing was hard and elaborated. He blinked tightly many times trying to regain his sight from the spots he was seeing. 

'What?'

'I can't go Shiro. I'm not ready. I can't.' 

'Tell me what's wrong.' Keith rested his head on his knees, trembling violently. He felt nauseous. 'Keith, please.'

'I don't-I don't know what's wrong. Shiro, please don't make-' The whole room was spinning. He closed his eyes and gripped his knees.

'Hey shhh, I’m here for you.' Shiro was kneeling in front of him, holding him firmly. He kept talking but Keith could not make out what he was saying. It felt like he was deep underwater, every sound muted. But Keith still tried to focus on Shiro's voice in the distance and tried to even his breathing, and even though he did not feel like crying, he knew tears were streaming down his cheeks. 

He wanted everything to stop.

_'Guys where are you? The princess is waiting for you'_ Coran's voice came through the speakers.

'We are coming!' Shiro answered and Keith lifted his head looking at him with wide panicked eyes. 'Don't worry, I'll explain it to Allura, but I need to go. Will you be alright?' 

Keith took a deep breath and nodded, forcing himself to calm down. 

'Call us if you need someone. Got it?' Keith nodded and Shiro left the room. 

Keith pressed the palm of his hands onto his eyes. He focused hard and remembered what had been taught to him. Clearing his mind, he straightened his body and breathed. It was funny how whenever he practiced this breathing exercise he heard the voice of the one who taught it to him instead of his own. As he really tried to focus on keeping his breathing under control he felt a constant tap on his chest. 

His necklace. 

Keith took the necklace Lance gave him out of the paladin armor and held it tightly in his hand feeling the steady pattern of the ticking clock. And for some reason he didn’t want to understand at that moment, it calmed him much more than expected.

He took a deep breath and felt his muscles loosen a bit. 

Having anxiety attacks was not new to Keith, nevertheless, he knew this was different. And the fact that he had just spent more than a year captured and not being in control of his body or mind, for his own body to betray him now, made him furious. But for that very same reason, it made sense that he was feeling this way and having these unexpected spurs of uncontrollable anxiety. 

That didn’t make it any less scary though.

After a few minutes, that felt like hours, he was much calmer. He stood up and washed his face with ice cold water. There was no need for anyone to know what happened. 

Not really wanting to be by himself he went to the common room where the rest of his friends were hanging out. 

'What are you doing here? Weren't you supposed to go with Allura and Shiro?' Lance asked surprised when Keith entered the room.

'Shiro dismissed me. He said it was better if just the two of them handled the diplomacy.' Keith shrugged like he nothing has really happened.

'Well, of course, you would have probably started a war with them.' Lance joked. 

Keith didn’t have the energy to react to that, and Lance looked at him with worry.

‘Are you okay?’

‘Yes, just a bit tired.’ He faked a smile.

'They didn't ask for anyone else to go with them?' Hunk asked. 

'Nope. Just the two of them.' Keith sat down beside Pidge, who had been quietly observing him.

Hunk looked at his friends a little nervous.

'Hey, guys…’ He hesitated. ‘I've been meaning to ask... but maybe I'm just imagining things…' 

'What is it?’ Lance asked.

‘Do you know what’s the deal between Shiro and Allura?’

Pidge sat up straight, very interested. She had a small idea of what Hunk actually meant by that question.

'What do you mean the deal?’

‘You know…’

‘I really don’t.’

‘Come on Lance, you have seen them interact with each other…’

'So?’ Lance raised an unamused eyebrow at him.

‘So…’

‘Just say it!’ he snapped.

'Okay, so the other night I was walking down one of the corridors and when I was near the kitchen I heard Allura and Shiro talking…' Hunk stared at his friends, looking for reactions for none of them was really getting where Hunk was going. 'They were talking very, very close to each other and... I don't know. I didn't want to eavesdrop on them so I left… I mean, it might not mean anything but...' Hunk trailed off.

Lance and Pidge laughed very hard at the same time, but for entirely different reasons.

'Hunk, you know both of them are like... team leaders and stuff. They are probably besties by now, of course they can talk very close to each other… like, you and I do it all the time dude.' The moment Lance finished talking Pidge laughed even harder. 

The three other paladins staring at her, confused.

'Okay, okay, I get it now, there is something we don’t know, just tell us Pidge.' Lance urged her.

'They... are... dating.' She said gasping for air.

_'WHAT!?'_ Lance and Keith said at the same time, frowning at each other trying to figure out if they were thinking the same. Hunk, on the other hand, was left with his mouth open for several seconds.

‘Isn’t Shiro…?’ He finally dared to say.

‘Gay?’ Lance finished.

Keith nodded in response. The three of them staring at each other, mouth agape, while Pidge was bending over from laughter.

'OMG you three dumb-dumbs.' She kept laughing. ‘You look so cute trying to figure it out.’ 

‘Piiidge…’ Keith tried to threaten her.

‘They _are_ dating…’ She sighed, wiping tears from her eyes ‘Just not each other.’ 

There was a silent “Oh” from the paladins. 

'That motherfucker didn't tell me…' Keith said more to himself than to the others, but to be fair with Shiro, they hadn’t had any time to catch up with each other. He shrugged. 'Well, I’m happy for them.’ He smiled. 

‘Me too… now everything makes more sense. They look considerably happier than last time I saw them. Specially Shiro.' Hunk had a wide grin on his face. 

'Yup… oh, but Lance was right, they _are_ bffs and they love each other.' Pidge adds.

'Well, I guess I finally have to let go of my crushes on them.’ Lance said pouting exaggeratedly. 

‘Crushes? Really Lance?’ Hunk glared at him. ‘You actually liked All-’

‘Friendly crushes, Hunk. Completely platonic ones.’ He interrupted, not really wanting to bring up the time when he liked Allura. It happened so long ago and now they were in pretty good terms and were actually pretty good friends too.

'But I totally deserve this for staying on Earth and letting them go.' He continued dramatically wiping an invisible tear from one of his eyes.

Hunk snorted. 'Like nothing happened back on earth. Come on Lance, you had your share.' 

Lance choked on air.

'OH! We have gossip!! Oh please, do tell us, Mr. McClain.' Pidge crossed her legs on the couch and sipped on the water pouch she had, waiting for Lance to stop coughing. 

Keith would have joined Pidge and mock Lance, but he just wasn’t in the mood for anything right now. He hated everything at the moment, how tired he was feeling, how he could not control shit about what was going on with him, he hated how he had disappointed the team, everything. But he wasn’t going to lie… the subject did wake his curiosity up. Even if he hadn’t said anything so far, he was listening carefully.

Lance dragged one of his hands down his face.

'I… had a girlfriend… and we were together for a while, but it didn't work, and then she moved out of town. The end.' He said all at once.

‘Oh… okay’ 

'There was a summer when there was a bunch of girls crushing on him.' Hunk chattered. 'But now... now there is this boy, Alan, he is very cute and always buys food from our truck, and-'

'HUNK!' Lance interrupted him, feeling the temperature of his face rising rapidly. 

Pidge was laughing.

'Is it serious?' Keith asked, only realizing he had said that out loud when Lance turned to look at him with an expression that could only be compared to a deer in front of headlights.

'Wh-what?' 

'I… uh…’ But there was no way of getting out of it, so he just went with it as casually as he could make it pass. ‘You know. You two, is it serious?' 

'GUYS THERE IS NOTHING between us!’ He said in a high pitch, gesturing his hands in the air. 

'Oh really?' Pidge raised an eyebrow.

'Yes, really. Like, he only gave me his number... and now that I remember, I kinda stood him up. Also, I never told him that I left... He probably hates me now. Ugh… it doesn't really matter, okay?' He sighed.

'Well, you know…' Pidge felt a little bad for him. 'We can hook your phone up to the castle. You are probably not going to be able to make a call, but at least you could text him.' 

'Thanks, Pidge, but I'm not really that interested. Let's just drop it.' He insisted. And Keith felt bad at how uncomfortable Lance seemed so he tried to divert the attention.

'What about you Hunk?' 

'Oh… I've been here and there… nothing really worth mentioning… but I- uh…’ He said scratching his neck. ‘I've actually been thinking about visiting Shay now that we are back in space… after we figure out what is going on of course.’

‘You should totally go see her!’ Keith said enthusiastically. ‘I saw her not that long- well actually it’s been some time now… but I visited the Balmera a few times and she always asked me about you.’ 

Hunk smiled shyly. 

‘Yeah Hunk, go get your rock girl.’ Pidge agreed.

'Oh wow, are we really talking about our love lives?' Lance chuckled a bit confused on how they got to this subject, not mentioning that if definitely made him a bit uncomfortable.

Keith opened his eyes wide at that realization, because even if he was the one that asked Hunk he didn’t really think it through, but now he kinda regretted it a bit. He knew where this was going. 

'We are catching up Lance! Like old friends. What about you Pidge?' Hunk asked.

'Hunk, you should know... I'm married to science.' She answered very seriously looking at them, the three paladins not daring to say one word. 'Your faces are so priceless. Nah Hunk, I don't know. I just haven't met anyone that interesting…’ She shrugged. 

'Oh, okay. That's valid.'

'... Keith on the other hand...' She eyed his friend.

'Oh, Keith do you have an alien boyfriend?' Hunk wiggled his eyebrows.

'Well, not really, I was kinda captured so… ' He tried to make a joke.

'Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't-' 

'Hunk, I’m just kidding.’ Although maybe it was still too soon to make jokes about that.

'Still, for some reason, Keith was a very popular guy around the universe.' 

'Pidge, come on!' Keith hissed.

'We all shared our stories, Keith. It’s only fair.' 

'You didn't even have a story!' 

'I did have a story. My story was that nothing happened, yours on the contrary...'

'Just tell us already!' Lance blurted out of nowhere, everybody looking at him.

Keith sighed, giving up.

'So, like I was saying, Keith was a very popular guy. Like he went to all these exotic planets, that even we as Voltron didn’t know they existed, and met so many different aliens.'

'Such a casanova.' Lance chuckled, but there was an accusatory tone lingering there. And Keith noticed.

'I'm glad you had fun Keith' Hunk approved.

'Thanks?' 

'Hey, did you keep in touch with that guy? The one I liked... with the petroleum-blue skin color...'

'Uhh… Ekya?' He said shyly. 

'Yes! Him, I liked him. He was the funniest guy, very pretty also. Did you keep in touch?'

'Well yeah, we did for a while... but then...' 

'Shame. He really did have the best stories'

'Stories about what?' Lance couldn't get what was so amazing about this guy.

'Everything. He was a merchant so he was always meeting new people, going to new places, doing exciting things!' 

'... Yeah... a merchant' Keith chuckled to himself. 'You know Pidge, he really liked you too.' 

'Reaaally?' She was beaming.

'Yes, he always asked me how you were and stuff.' 

'Aww, he was the best.' 

'He does sound like a nice catch. How long you two were together?' Hunk asked.

'Uhh... About two and a half earth years…' Keith answered uncomfortably.

Lance choked on air really badly this time.

'WOW, like... you were pretty much married.'

'Uhh, no.' He said flatly.

'What happened?' Lance knew he was being intrusive, but he couldn't help it.

'Uhh… We just went our separate ways…' Keith really just wanted this conversation to end right now. 

'Oh... Did you-'

_'Paladins please report to the control room. Allura and Shiro are back from their mission.' _Coran said over the speakers not letting Lance finish his question. Keith just thanked the universe for Coran's timing.__

__The paladins headed to the control room, and Keith was walking slowly behind his friends but Pidge slowed her pace just enough for Keith to catch up with her._ _

__‘Okay, so I want you to tell me what’s going on with you.’ She went straight to the point._ _

__Keith kept his poker face._ _

__‘What do you mean what’s going on with me?’_ _

__‘Can we skip all this? I’m neither blind nor stupid. First, this morning and now “Shiro dismissed me”? I know something is up with you.’_ _

__‘Nothing is up with me Pidge.’ But he couldn’t look at her, he just kept walking._ _

__‘Really, Keith? I thought we trusted each other’_ _

__‘I do trust you, but I’ve got nothing to tell you.’ He felt awful lying to Pidge like this, but there was no need for everyone to worry about him. He could handle this on his own._ _

__‘Fine… but promise you’ll tell me if something is up.’ Pidge grabbed his wrist and stared at his eyes. Keith was more than uncomfortable but knew Pidge was right, he should tell her but he just couldn’t do it._ _

__‘Okay, I… I will.’_ _

__Pidge didn’t believe him but didn’t say anything else._ _

__

___________ _

__

__Allura came furiously into the control room, Shiro followed behind her clearly trying to calm her. She paced around the room mumbling, but nobody could get what she was mad about._ _

__'Uhh... What happened?' Hunk dared to ask._ _

__Allura stopped pacing and turned around to face Hunk._ _

__'What happened is that we told these quiznaking aliens EVERY SINGLE THING THEY WANTED TO KNOW. Everything. Details.’ She was being very loud. 'And then.... oh, and then' She was about to murder someone. 'We only got to ask one question. ONLY one question.' She hissed and kept pacing._ _

__'At least is useful information.' Shiro said trying to see the positive side._ _

__'Okay, hold your horses. I'm not getting it. Is anyone else not getting it?' Lance asked the other paladins._ _

__'Uhh… I don't get it either.' Keith said._ _

__'Thanks, Keith. So, care to explain?'_ _

__Shiro sighed._ _

__'We were interrogated for a while. They don't usually let foreigners inside their planet, but we are Voltron so... They wanted to get information from us.'_ _

__'So they let you in and let you ask one question in exchange of whatever knowledge you could give them. Knowledge for knowledge' Pidge finished._ _

__'Exactly.'_ _

__‘Well, makes sense considering they keep all their knowledge within their own race.’ Coran pointed out._ _

__'Does not sound pretty fair to me.' Hunk empathized with Allura._ _

__'It wasn't!' She shot from the other side of the room._ _

__'Yes, but we didn't know it was going to be like that. Look, it doesn't matter now. We got something.'_ _

__'What's that?' Keith's heart was beating fast. He wanted to know._ _

__'We know that the Awkan are an exiled group from Planet Gree.'_ _

__'That's it?' Keith was beginning to share Allura's anger. 'They interrogated you, like prisoners and that's the only information they gave you?' He clenched his hands in fists, tightly._ _

__'Guys please, they didn’t do anything to us, just let this go. We have something to start with.'_ _

__'Coran, can you show us the Planet?' Allura asks._ _

__'Yes, Princess. I was just about to do that' A yellowish planet showed up on the screen. 'This is Planet Gree from the Ara Chron-C star system. Being as far to the edge of the universe as they are, they probably never got conquered by the Galra, and maybe that's why we've never heard of them'_ _

__'How long before we get there?' Keith asked eagerly._ _

__'It could take us several Quintants, or even a Phoeb. A wormhole near the planet would be faster and more efficient in this case'_ _

__'Then that's what we are going to do.' Allura decided still visibly angry._ _

__Coran kept talking but Keith wasn't listening anymore. Suddenly all the rage inside him was surfacing. He wanted to face these guys so badly, get revenge for what they did to him, for what they make him do._ _

__'Keith?' Shiro said, beside him._ _

__'Don't worry Shiro. I'll be ready this time.'_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading


	6. Million reasons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My beta: Secretlyadragon on Tumblr.

It all came down to this. 

 

______

 

  
Keith could not stop fidgeting his fingers. The anxiousness he was feeling was on another level. They all have been waiting for at least half an hour for their meeting with the Queen of Planet Gree, and his nervousness grew along with the minutes that passed. He tried to play it cool though. 

The Gree had scheduled them a meeting with the Queen as soon as the team got in touch with them. Keith had been repeating the questions that wanted to ask over and over again inside his head while holding tightly the clock necklace in one hand. Keith also had memorized all the possible escape routes in the room, an old method he hadn't used in a long time, but you never know. In the end, they were on the planet of the ones that kidnapped him. 

Keith shivered and inhaled deeply. 

Gree was a planet that represented progress and equality. There was little differentiation between the higher and lower class citizens and everyone was given the instruments to forge their own lives the way they wanted, or at least that is what they told the team. Technology and art were encouraged to work together for the advancement of the planet, and their idea was to reach the highest potential. They were an exceptional race, not only because of their intelligence and their mindfulness of their own lives and surroundings, but they also had the ability to “control”, to a certain extent, other living organisms. They were extremely powerful and they absolutely knew it, and that is why they had rules that bounded everyone, the main one being that it was absolutely forbidden to use their power. Due to all this, they have maintained their planet out of wars and conflicts. They were neutral territory, and except for some trades with other planets, they did not have any interaction with other races. 

So it was fair to say that this whole situation was odd, Keith knew that much. What he found most strange about everything was that if what they learned about the Gree as a race was true, then what he went through during his year of disappearance did not make any sense. Keith was hoping to find some answers with the Queen. 

The main door opened and a purple skin Gree came through it. 'Your majesty is ready to see you. Please follow me.'

The Gree were considered very good looking among the races in their star system. They were a mixed race between fish and reptile and had all kinds of skin colors. Their features were sharp but varied. They looked like they were always serious, but it also made them look very sophisticated. 

The team followed the Gree and were left alone in the room. The Queen, who was standing near the window at the back of the room, turned to look at them. 

 

  
It all came down to this. 

 

  
_____________ 

 

 

Keith hadn't said a word in a while.

This was the second time he seemed to be close to having an actual answer to what happened or even some whereabouts of his captors, and it was the second time it slipped through his fingers like water. Forward two steps and backward three, or at least that's how he felt it was like. Apparently, the rest of the team didn't share his discouragement. 

The Queen had been very nice to them, and she did give them answers, just not all the answers Keith was hoping for. 

The Awkan were an exiled group like they already knew. Years ago they were expelled from the planet for breaking the law, and just like that, they were not the Gree’s problem anymore. Nobody knew where they were now. 

Keith was exhausted. Allura had been talking for a while but he wasn't listening. He wanted his bed.

'You okay buddy?' Hunk asked, worry in his voice.

'Uh? Yeah, yeah, sorry.' Keith came back from his trance to find everyone looking at him. 

'I know you must be tired Keith, but it is crucial for this mission for all of us to go to the Banquet.' Allura continued. 

'The what now?' He asked furrowing his brows, completely lost.

The Gree had arranged a huge celebration in their honor. Only the most important Gree were attending, and team Voltron was obviously expected to show up. They had also been given some kind of white sleeveless tunic to wear for the celebration, representing equality between everybody. 

 

________

 

When the team arrived at the palace, the cocktail had already begun in the ballroom. Everything was very fancy, way fancier than they actually thought. Gold chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, a liquor bar, and servers going around the people holding silver trays with food and drinks of different colors and shapes on them. There was even a live band playing the most exquisite jazz-like music. The room was full of Gree enjoying their time, some dancing, some chatting, some other drinking, and eating. All of them wearing the white sleeveless tunic. 

The team was presented as the paladins of Voltron, saviors of the universe and royal guest to the palace. Diplomats and politicians came closer to greet and talk to them. Fortunately for the four younger paladins, Allura and Shiro were doing all the talking. So after about half an hour of standing there doing nothing, Shiro dismissed them so they were free to wander. No big deal, Coran had already left to talk with some other people too. It had certainly been a long time since doing anything diplomatic like talking to leaders or discussing politics, or any important affairs. All that was something they really learned how to do after the war ended as they tried to unify the universe, but now they were very much out of practice. Keith more than everyone had never been in the mood to begin with, even less now in this particular situation.

The paladins stuck together, not knowing anybody and feeling a bit out of place with all the fancy people there. They tried out the food and drinks and just stared at the whole situation. 

Even though they looked pretty similar, all wearing white tunics, the paladins stood out from the crowd, and a group of female Gree had been staring at them for a while. Tall and lean, a bit muscular, skins of different colors, pink, olive, light blue, and very, very beautiful. It was a sight. Of course, when they finally came closer, they wasted no time and immediately started flirting with the paladins. Lance, of course, played along and followed the flirting. He and Hunk were the ones leading the whole conversation, charming smiles in place and tingling laughter in exactly the right moments. Pidge and Keith were slowly and painfully dying of boredom, and although they both appreciated all the eye candy in general, it was nothing more than that. After a particularly bad joke from Lance, Pidge took Keith's hand and lead them both out of there to where the food was.

'One more pick up line and I was going to explode.' 

Keith chuckled at that. He actually didn't find it that annoying. 'We really are not that much for diplomacy, huh?' 

'No, we definitely are, but this is just plain boring… I have an idea though.’ She side eyed him with a mischievous smile. ‘To make our time here worthwhile, I mean.' 

Keith’s relaxed demeanor changed into something sharper. 'I'm all ears.' 

It turned out Pidge had been as disappointed as him after their meeting with the Queen, but unlike him, she was already looking for more answers to their questions. She found out that one of the Gree they were presented at the beginning of the evening was a very important diplomat. Some even called him the Queen’s right-hand man, and that meant that this guy probably knew about all inside affairs. Keith remembered being introduced to him earlier but could not really remember what his face looked like. 

'I don’t remember either but it doesn't matter. The most important people here are allowed to use colors on their outfits if you haven't noticed… The queen is the only one who can use a colored tunic, but diplomats can use colored sandals... and this guy has yellow ones.' She finished, wiggling her eyebrows at him.

So much for equality.

'Really Pidge? That’s a terrible plan. Have you seen how many Gree are here? And we ought to find a guy only by his sandals?' Keith said gesturing the room. 

'Well not really. _You_ are going to look for that guy and talk to him. I'm going to talk to the servants.' She said already walking away.

'Why the servants?' 

'Are you kidding? After the queen, servants are the ones that know most about everything. I’ll see you here in two hours.' And with that, she got lost in the crowd. 

Keith sighed pinching the bridge of his nose but went to his task nonetheless. After all, this was all for his sake.

 

  
After an hour or so of failed search through the people who were chatting, Keith decided to go on the dancing floor, which he should have thought on going on earlier. There were a lot more Gree dancing now than there were before, making the task at hand a lot more difficult. He walked around with his eyes glued to the floor looking at the sea of mostly white sandals, bumping into almost everyone.

At some point of this, he felt himself being dragged by the arm. It was Lance.

'Why are you here all by yourself looking all gloomy? Come on!'. Lance pulled him through the compact mass of dancing Gree and took him to the bar before Keith could say anything. They sat on the tall golden stools in front of the bar, getting a pretty good view of all the bottles of different shapes and colors, holding all kinds of liquors and what not. Keith felt a small nudge on his side. Lance gestured with his head some point to his side. He turned around and saw Hunk talking to a group of very interested females, he was gesturing a lot with his hands, and Keith could tell he was very invested in the conversation. The female Gree looked very amazed. 

'What do you think he is talking about?' Lance asked.

Keith shook his head in gesture. 

'He's talking about spices and how to use them. I'm pretty sure they're in love with him.' Lance chuckled and turned to the barman asking for two drinks.

Keith snapped back and turned to look at Lance with an eyebrow lifted playfully. 'Are you buying me a drink?' Keith joked.

'Would you like me to buy you a drink?' Lance answered holding the gaze with the smuggest face he could manage.

Well, that totally backfired. 

Keith squinted his eyes at him not really having a comeback, but he was actually trying to hide the hotness he felt on his face. Luckily for him, the bartender arrived with their drinks at that moment.

The drinks were shot-like and they were half fluorescent pink and cyan. Vertical half though. 

'I heard these ones are the best!' Lance said taking one. He lifted his glass, making little cheer and slowly sipped his drink. 

Keith just stared at him, lips tight in a line, holding his amusement.

Lance swallowed the liquid and immediately started coughing.

'Okay, a bit stronger than I expected... Maybe go easy on them.' He warned Keith, but he had already recognized the drink. 

He made eye contact and grinned at a confused Lance. Keith proceeded to take the other shot glass and chugged the shot. 

Lance was left with his mouth opened. 

'Excuse me, Lance, I have to go back to do something Pidge asked me. Thanks for the drink.' He winked at him and left. Smugness all over _his_ face this time. 

And Lance just stared, ravaged. After that, he took his drink and chugged it too, coughing again.

Keith heard him and chuckled to himself, coughing a little too. The drink was definitely stronger than he remembered. 

As his search for the diplomat did not bear fruit whatsoever he started looking for Pidge, but Keith couldn’t find her anywhere, which was a bit strange given that, aside from what she was trying to do, she was supposed to be in the ballroom with the rest of them. Also, even in the huge crowd they were in, she was very noticeable with her long brown hair. Keith saw Allura and Shiro talking to some people, and Coran was explaining very lively something to some other group, but there was truly no sign of Pidge. Keith decided to wait in their meeting point hoping she was more successful than him on their self-imposed mission. 

Munching on some weird purple fruit he took out of a tray he observed the crowd dancing in the middle of the ballroom. The music had changed so now everyone was slow dancing very close to their respective partners. He spotted Hunk dancing very respectfully with the daughter of one of the important diplomats they met in the beginning of the evening, he was keeping his distance and smiling politely at whatever the girl was saying. Keith remembered what they talk about in the castle recreation room, and hoped they could visit the Balmera soon, Hunk deserved it. He then spotted Lance dancing with a girl, all laughs and smiles. He moved graciously and smoothly with the music, and the girl followed with almost the same level of graciousness. And Lance looked so carefree and… happy, actually happy. And it was so different from the last time they saw each other, that time when Keith left. It wasn’t a happy memory, to say the least, but it wasn’t sad either… it just was. So seeing Lance like that warmed his chest in such a strange, nostalgic way… just like when they were defenders of the universe.

Keith got lost in thought for a moment but something he saw through the corner of his eye made him snap to reality fast. He looked down to the floor and started searching frantically, he was sure he had seen a yellow blur. He went back to the dance floor, walking fast not really looking where he was going, his gaze completely on the floor… and there it was. Keith spotted the yellow sandals and the Gree who was wearing them. The guy was old and his bluish face was full of wrinkles, overall it wasn’t a face you could easily forget, which made Keith think if it was actually the same guy they met earlier. Could there be more than one Gree with yellow sandals? But he didn’t really have time to question Pidge’s instructions, so he walked rapidly to where the guy was, excusing himself as he pushed a few people to the side. Keith went around some Gree and just when he was about to intercept the guy, something blocked his way. Well, not exactly something.

'Hello, would you like to dance with me?' Said the olive skin Gree in front of Keith. 

'Wh-What?' Keith asked confused while trying to see where the diplomat had gone, but before the Gree could answer, Keith was pushed by someone, making him fall onto his suitor. The Gree took the chance and started dancing with Keith.

'I'm Zayd by the way.' He smiled.

'Oh... uh, I'm Keith.' And he was still trying to look for the diplomat guy, but he had already lost him. 

'I know who you are.' Zayd commented nonchalantly putting his best smirk into action. 

Keith could tell this guy was handsome, sharp features like the rest of his race, but his eyes were a lot rounder than the others, and he looked amazing. Also, he definitely knew how to dance. He was leading like it was second nature, but... he had been so close to talking to the other guy! He looked around trying to find anything that could help him get out of this situation without being rude, and get back to his task, maybe he could still find the guy again.

That was when he saw Lance, not that far from him, still dancing with the same girl. But Keith couldn't just call for him, he needed to be discrete. So instead he tried his best to get closer to his friend while dancing with Zayd, but even when they were pretty close to each other it was pretty hard to get Lance’s attention. 

Zayd started talking and Keith didn't know when that actually happened. He needed Lance _now_. So in a smooth movement, he kicked lance in the calf.

'Ow! What the-' Lance saw his friend, and Keith put on his most convincing "help me" face. Lance sighed but he got it immediately, like he has done it a million times before. He excused himself to the girl and interrupted them, saying that he needed to talk with Keith about something Voltron related, or something like that, Keith wasn’t really listening, he just wanted to get out of there quickly. Keith apologized deeply to Zayd, and Lance led him to another part of the dancing floor.

 

'I can't believe how blind you are! I mean how could yo-What are you doing?' Keith glared at Lance, who had just taken his hands and started moving.

'Dancing.’ Lance said as it was the most obvious thing in the world. ‘I was happily dancing before I came to your rescue. _You owe me a dance.'_

Fair enough Keith thought.

'Still... I could have died right beside you and you wouldn't have noticed. How invested can you be when dancing with someone you don’t even know?' Keith accused.

Lance rolled his eyes and stepped on him on purpose. 

'Dancing with a stranger is not going to kill you.'

He glared at Lance. 'I know.' 

'Besides... that guy was hot. Like, ten out of ten would-'

'I know!' Keith interrupted. Lance just laughed.

'But all this just checks that Pidge was right…’ He said with a sassy smile on his face.

‘About what?’

‘You _are_ a very popular guy among aliens.' 

It was Keith's time to roll his eyes.

'Is the paladin effect.' He assured.

Lance narrowed his eyes at him. The paladin effect was, as the name pointed out, the effect that had on people the fact that they were Paladins of Voltron. It made wonders to get attention, and laid if one wanted. The closest a planet was to the center of conflict of the Galra Invasion, the stronger the paladin effect was. 

'Nah, don't think so.' Lance declared but didn’t go on. 

They continued dancing, the mission Keith had, long forgotten. Their dancing flowed a lot more elegantly than Keith would have thought. Lance lead, Keith followed. The dance floor was full of people enjoying themselves, and Lance too was enjoying their dance. The song was slow so they were dancing pretty close, but it wasn’t uncomfortable, it was actually pretty relaxing. Even Keith allowed himself to enjoy the moment and forget about everything. 

If only just for a moment. 

He closed his eyes and focused on the sensations. The air flowing freely under the hem of his tunic. The slow rhythm of the music resonating on his chest. The people talking and laughing around him. The ticking of his necklace on his skin. Lance’s hand on his waist, and their hands held together while dancing. 

Keith opened his eyes to Lance staring at him. He looked away and could feel his face getting hot. 

Lance chuckled.

‘You are nervous.’ His voice was soft. 

‘No, I’m not.’ Keith hissed.

Lance smiled, looking away, and just like it had happened with Shiro, Lance could not help himself. Word vomit.

‘Why did you leave?’ 

Keith froze completely and stared at Lance with wide fearful eyes, but Lance wasn’t looking at him. Keith felt a huge knot forming on his throat, and tried to swallow it with no use. He had been afraid of this moment for years now... since he left actually. And it wasn’t the first time he left either which just only made it worse. He had already apologized to Lance years ago for leaving that first time, and he had his legitimate reasons for leaving too, Lance being one of them. Of course Keith never told him that though, and this time was different… this time he didn’t have any real reasons for leaving, but at the same time, he had a million… just none of them were good enough to hide the fact that he was just scared. Scared of many things… of his feelings, of his actions. He was so scared of his words, words that could mean so much… but what he was more scared about was that if he finally had it all, he would eventually lose it all. 

He just knew it, and could not bear that. Not again… so he left. 

Lance squeezed his hand and urged him to keep dancing, so Keith did. 

‘I had to.’ He finally answered, his voice a lot rougher than he wanted. The truth was burning inside his chest, but even now it was still too much. ‘I just… couldn’t stay on earth. I had nothing there… my mom was back in space… you and Hunk had your families, your lives… I didn’t…’ He was rambling. 

‘Pff, you had us.’ Lance's voice was a bit accusatory but it hadn’t been his intention. 

‘You wanted different things.’ He whispered, and he didn’t’ want to keep talking about this, not when he felt his throat burning. 

Keith dared to look at Lance but immediately diverted his gaze, regretting it. Lance had his brows furrowed in the saddest expression he had seen on him. It was a huge contrast with the cheerful, happy Lance he had seen just moments before. And Keith’s chest clenched at the sight because it always ended like that between them. Even if they managed to be so close to each other, and care about the other so much, they always ended up hurting each other in some way or another. And Keith knew it was always his fault, he recognized the pattern. 

Keith looked at Lance again, but this time Lance was looking away. Maybe he should have left Lance dance with the girl after all.

And Keith needed to leave, as ironic as that was. 

He loosened his hold on Lance’s hand and turned his body to walk away from the whole situation, but Lance held his hand more firmly, making him go back to their dancing. 

‘No. No, I didn’t.’ He whispered, without looking at Keith.

The knot in Keith’s throat now felt huge, making it hard to breathe. And Keith completely ignored Lance’s answer because he knew it was not good for him to let his mind wander with that kind of ideas. He tried to swallow the knot down a few times but it still wasn’t going anywhere. And Lance noticed, sighing heavily and finally looking at Keith. 

‘Keith…’ He called. ‘I don’t want you to… look I just wanted to know the reason, okay? That was it.’ Lance tried to ease the tension between them, it hadn’t been his intention to get to this. But it was true… he just wanted to know. 

‘I just left, Lance… I’m sorry.’ 

‘Hey, that’s valid, you don’t need to apologize’. Lance squeezed his hand once more. ‘But… if you had asked me… I would have-’ 

Lance was cut off by a loud shot, followed immediately by more shouts in different voices, and a lot of noise. The band stopped playing abruptly and the Gree stopped dancing. They were all looking at the end of the ballroom where the noise came from. 

Lance and Keith didn't need to see to know who it was.

 

'Let me go! I haven't done anything!' Two guards had Pidge by the arms and were taking her out of the palace. One of them even covered her mouth so she would stop shouting.

The whole team ran after her and found the guards waiting outside the palace. 

'I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. All of you.' One of them said while handing Pidge to Shiro. 

'Hey! be careful.' Keith warned angrily. 

'What happened?' Hunk asked, checking on Pidge.

'We discovered her roaming through private rooms and talking to the servants, which is strictly prohibited.' 

'I haven't done anything wrong! I just wanted some answers.' 

'Please, leave.' The two guards didn't even give them a second glance and left, closing the giant palace doors behind them. 

 

'Keith!' Pidge turned to her friend. 'I'm so sorry, I didn't want this to happen.' She apologized, completely agitated.

'Hey, hey, it's okay.’ 

‘Pidge, what happened?’ Shiro asked her.

‘I uh…’ 

‘We just heavily disrespected the people who were trying to help us!’ Allura added angrily.

‘Well they weren’t actually helping us-’

‘Pidge, that’s not-’

‘It was my fault!’ Keith blurted, and everybody turned to look at him.

‘What?’ Shiro furrowed his eyebrows at him, and Keith knew he was going to get in trouble but he rather that than let Pidge take the blame.

‘I asked Pidge if she could help me… find… some kind of… archive… on the Awkan, ‘cause you know, these people must have history books and stuff, and I thought maybe we could learn more about them that way.’ Keith really tried to sound convincing.

‘Keith…’ Shiro sighed, and Keith could tell he was disappointed, but not mad.

‘I’m sorry guys, I just wanted to get some answers…’ And now he really tried to sell his role as the victim of this whole encounter. 

‘Keith, I promise you we’ll do whatever we can to find out what is going on.’ Allura assured. ‘But we have to do it as a team.’

‘Won’t happen again.’ Keith nodded and went beside Pidge. ‘Are you hurt?' 

'No, I'm fine.' She said but looked still pretty distraught.

'Let's go. I don't want to be here anymore'. He said quietly. 

Somehow Pidge’s timing had been perfect. Keith was left completely drained with all the things that had happened that day. It had been too much. And he needed to _leave._

They all walked in silence to the castle.

‘Thank you for…’ Pidge said to Keith, trying to walk as slowly as she could so the others could not hear. 

‘Don’t worry, I know they won’t get mad at me.’

'Did you get to talk to the guy?' 

He shook his head.

'I couldn't. There wasn't enough time.' 

'I'm sorry. I shouldn't have taken everything this far.' She apologized again, guilt all over her voice.

'Pidge, we knew at least one of us was going to get in trouble.’ He chuckled trying to lift her mood. ‘It's not your fault.' 

The two paladins were about to catch on the rest of the team when they heard a quiet, barely audible whistle, but it was enough for them to notice. They turned around and a servant was running towards them. The servant seemed frightened and in such a hurry that when he reached the two paladins they only thing he did was hand Pidge a small paper folded in half and run back to the palace, without even saying one word to them.

Neither of them knew what was that about, but Pidge opened the paper nonetheless.

 

It was an address. 

 

_______________

 

 

The team walked rapidly through the streets full of people. 

When they woke up that morning they found out guards were keeping outside the castle. They were given the order by the Queen's representative to leave the planet by noon. That meant they only had two hours to find the address and find out what was going on. Coran guided them from the castle and made sure the guards didn't know they had gone out for a “walk”.

They were getting close to the mark on their map. The streets were narrow in that part of town, everything was cramped and felt a bit closed in. Luckily for them, with their regular clothes, they weren't as noticeable despite them having hair, contrary to the scaled skin the Gree had. Also, they apparently wore colorful clothes in their regular days, so nobody had stopped to look at them twice. But still, they couldn't risk it, they needed to hurry.

Passing houses and markets and even a small river, they strayed even further from the center of the city. When they finally got to the mark on their map, they noticed the address was of a very small house that was in pretty bad shape. The porch was crooked, and the wood of the outside walls was barely holding, it didn’t even have any remains of painting, it had all faded away. It looked like it was going to fall any minute now. 

With no time to lose, the team knocked.

The door opened quickly and a small blue-skin Gree appeared. He looked at them with fearful wide eyes for only a second as he regained his composure immediately. 

'Oh hello! You are just in time for your acupuncture appointment.' The old Gree greeted them very loudly, making them come inside quickly, and checking outside before closing the door.

The team stared confused at the old Gree, not quite getting the whole situation. He was wearing a black tunic and sandals, and you could tell that he was old by all the cracks on his face. 

He looked angry. 

The Gree turned his back at them and without saying he started walking down the hall. The team followed, not really knowing if they were supposed to do that or not. 

The inside of the house it was dark and narrow, and there were only two other rooms in it, but none of them were open. The Gree opened a secret door that was hidden under an old rug and went down the stairs. The team doing the same. At the end of the stairs, there was some kind of underground tunnel that led them to a huge dark room full of people resting in beds. The Gree immediately went to check on some of the people.

‘You were foolish to come here. I have nothing for you, and whatever my nephew Blan told you about me, I’m not.’ He stated flatly.

‘He didn’t say anything. He just gave us your address.’ Pidge said.

‘Please, we just want to ask you a few questions.' Shiro asked.

‘I already told you, I have nothing for you.’ The old Gree walked to one of the sick people and took their temperature. Keith looked around, observing all the Gree that were there. Some of them were sleeping, some other were whispering to themselves, and others were just staring blankly at the ceiling. Keith noticed that a few of them were tied up to their beds.

‘Who are they? Why are they here?’ Keith asked the old Gree. 

The old Gree sighed, putting a wet cloth on the forehead of the patient he was attending. ‘They are sick; I tend to them… This- _they_ \- are the outcome of… no, it’s none of your businesses.’ The old Gree cut himself from speaking too much.

But Keith knew the answer. ‘The outcome of the Awkan.’ He whispered. 

The old Gree stood up and looked at him fearfully, taking a knife from a secret pocket on his tunic and threatening them with it. 

Keith could hear the rest of the team taking their bayards behind him, so he lifted his hands in a surrender gesture for the Gree while he turned his head slightly to the side, just enough for the rest of the team to get him, but not enough for him to left the Gree completely out of his sight.

‘Who are you and how do you know their name?’ He whispered loudly, ready to attack them.

‘I’m Keith, and we are the paladins of Voltron.’ He said quickly. ‘I was captured and… tortured… by the Awkan.’ And that was the first time he had said that word out loud, the first time he said that word in front of his teammates. 

‘You seriously expect me to believe that? If you were captured you wouldn’t be standing, you wouldn’t be walking, or talking like that. You would be like _them’_ The old Gree pointed to the ones laying on the beds. ‘You don’t come to my house and insult me, boy.’ 

‘No, no wait! I’m not… I have… I have proof!’ The team stared at him with wide eyes, completely scared. Keith didn’t dare to look at them. So he just lifted his shirt to show the same ugly looking scar Lance had spotted that night at the castle. It was dark pinkish looking and had a long oval shape. 

The old Gree came closer and examined it very meticulously, he then walked to the other side of the room, to one of the beds. He said some unintelligible words to the sick Gree and slowly uncovered the side. The Gree had a scar exactly like Keith’s.

The old Gree looked at them with a serious expression on his face. 

‘Every single one of those who are here have that scar. It’s where they put their device for long distance control… You know, they only can control someone when touching them, so this-’

‘I… I didn’t know.’ Keith said quietly.

‘Oh… of course... I’m Vitu, by the way.’ The silence that followed was uncomfortable. Keith had never exposed all the things that happened to him to the team, all the things that he could remember at least. And they were just starting to realize how much damage the Awkan had done to him. 

'How come you escaped from their hand?

'I-I don't really know… I had help from my lion, I guess.' Keith answered nervously. 'But I don't remember much.’

'Of course, of course, sorry. That is one of the effects.' Vitu turned around absently. 'What is it… that you want to know about them?’ He asked carefully.

'Everything' Keith whispered, but his voice came out firmly. 

 

'As you wish.' Vitu took them to a private room, away from the sick. 

 

__

 

The Awkan had started as a group of people who trained Gree who were born with a weak control link. The idea was to maintain that trait within their race. It was something that made them proud and superior to other races on their own eyes. Even if their ability to control was absolutely forbidden to practice on other races, and between pairs the other part involved had to give consent before being controlled, it was a distinct trait of the Gree and therefore, worthy of being protected. They thought about it as their most significant difference from other “less superior” races.

Promptly, and with all the practice they were getting from training other Gree, they became more powerful and started questioning the laws that were holding them back. If they had been born with such great powers, why not use them for their benefit? The Gree could be much greater if they exploited their talent to their utmost potential. 

So they rebelled. Used their control on their own kind in secret. They started by controlling Gree that were barely important to society, and eventually escalated to the more important Gree. In the beginning, they used it to get different things. Material things, like money or technology. It slowly escalated until they were influencing directly the Gree around the Queen, changing the laws of their people and molding the planet rules to ones they believed in, and accommodated to their interests. 

As they were getting themselves into more dangerous missions, they noticed they could not let the ones being controlled go free, or they would blow their whole operation To counter this, they evolved and trained themselves to the extent that they could erase memories. With this new ability, they could use any Gree citizen of whatever social standing and dispose of them after they had completed their mission. Sometimes they would erase just the memories of working for the Awkan, other times they would erase them whole. 

They felt like gods. 

Eventually, they became drunk with power and less careful. The police started to find people with different levels of amnesia wandering on the streets, and an investigation was set on course. 

The Awkan were exposed along with their illegal doings. They needed to be punished but the law prohibited the death sentence to any Gree. The greatest punishment was incarceration, but the Queen considered it being too light of a punishment for all the damage they have done to their society. 

So they were banished. And after that, it was all erased from the common memory. The Queen forbid to talk about the issue and anything remotely related to the Awkan. The need to erase this chapter of their history was so big they even left the ones affected by the Awkan by their own means, causing them to conveniently die not shortly after.

In the end, it was the easiest way to deal with them and not betray their ways. 

 

__

 

'Do you remember your times before the Awkan?' Vitu asked Keith. 

'Yeah, I do. I… uh… even remember some bits of my time with them.' He shifted in his seat, uncomfortable. 'I mean, not a lot... but, uh... they would take me on "missions". Those I don’t really remember, but after that, they would take me back to my cell. Most of the time I would try to remember what happened on the missions, but only a few times I could recall some details… fights… mostly.'

'You are an odd case.' Vitu nodded. 'I have known only one other like you, and she is already gone.' He finished, with a heavy voice. He then got up from his seat and searched through a pile of papers that were on the desk. 'The last time I knew anything about the Awkan it was information she gave me. They were trading illegal tech on the black markets near the Nemmi System' 

'The Nemmi Sys...' Keith said to himself trying to remember. 'I-I've been there.' He said more to himself than the others.

But the rest of the team heard him. They had kept at the back all this time quietly looked at Keith, but he didn't mind them, not at this moment. Vitu had also looked at him a bit surprised, but his gaze only lasted a second. 

'This...' He was holding a piece of paper in his hands. 'This is a drawing of their first in command. Her name is Ocoa. This is the last thing Ara remembered before succumbing to a state of dementia. You can have it.' His voice cracked, clearly affected. 

Keith took the paper and turned it over slowly. His mouth was dry and his heart was racing painfully inside his chest. 

The drawing on the paper showed a very beautiful, sophisticated Gree. She had light blue scaly skin with pinkish gills on the neck. Her nose resembled more of a reptile as did her eyes, with magenta pupils. The only feature that the team hadn't seen on other Gree were the long barbels that formed at the corners of her thick lips. They were also a light pink color. 

There was a note on the side of the drawing: _"They wear black long tunics and cover their heads with black scarfs."_

Keith dropped the paper the minute he saw the drawing, gasping loudly. He _had_ seen her before. He knew who she was. Memories filled his mind and panic washed over. The room started closing in on him and spinning slowly in every direction. Keith needed some air, and without explaining himself he left the room. The house. The street.

He found himself walking fast among the Gree, not really knowing where he was going. Everything felt in slow motion and even he felt out of his body at some moments. Everything was spiraling fast around him and he felt very dizzy, the noise of the street and the voices of the Gree that were talking, confusing him even more. He needed to find someplace alone _now_ , and he remembered the small river they passed on their way to the house. 

Keith hurried his pace and found the river just in time to throw up. He hadn't felt this weak since... Well since he was still in the hands of the Awkan. Splashing his face with some water, he kneeled on the riverside. 

He was crying. 

It was too much. His mind was drowning on memories he did not know he had in him. Memories he wished had stayed hidden and never seen the light of day. Everything was foggy though, and he could not tell if things were done to him, or if he had done those things to other people, which was even worse. So many things had happened and Keith could not get his head around it. 

Why? When had his life come to this? 

He felt desperate. Powerless. He wanted to pity himself and ask why this happened to him, but he knew the answer to that question, and that just made it even worse.

Maybe karma was real after all.

He rubbed his eyes with his sleeve. His chest still felt tight but he didn't feel like crying anymore. He did not want to feel anything, just for a moment. 

There was a crack sound behind him, and Keith didn’t even felt like turning around to see who it was, but he did anyway, the last of his survival instincts still there. 

It was Lance. Because of course it would.

'We've been looking for you for a while.' He said sitting next to Keith. Had it actually been that long? 'Do you mind if I tell the rest that I found you?' Keith shook his head and Lance wrote something on his comm. 

They both stayed quiet. Lance wanted to know what was happening to Keith, he wanted to help, but he wasn’t going to push. The river stream was calm and clear, and it filled the space between them. This would be the perfect spot for a walk, Lance thought, or a picnic or anything other than this. He felt useless.

The comm made a beeping noise and Pidge appeared on its screen. _‘Guys we need to go. The guards at the castle know we are not there. We are already on our way, meet you there in five minutes.’_ The transmission ended.

Lance sighed. Maybe it wasn’t the best moment to talk. He looked at Keith and without thinking grabbed his hand. 

Keith looked at him with a tired expression. He even thought about taking his hand off from under Lance’s but he didn’t even have the energy to try to.

‘Hey, whenever you are ready it’s fine. We just want to help you.’ And Lance did not wait for Keith to answer and got up. ‘Let’s go.’ 

 

They arrived at the castle just in time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
>  
> 
> [ X ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZGsgzwpj20A)


	7. All of the wreckage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My beta: Secretlyadragon on Tumblr.

It had never crossed Keith’s mind that remembering who the Awkan were would bring other kinds of memories down the lane too, even if it in retrospective was pretty obvious. And to say that he hadn’t been sleeping well since he got part of his memories back was a pretty awful understatement. Every time Keith closed his eyes, vivid nightmares would attack him. Fights, torture, hurting, not controlling his body, all kinds of torments and suffering, and there was nothing he could do about it. Every time he woke up he was either crying or screaming, and it was very surprising that nobody had woken up from it. Maybe the castle walls were a lot thicker than he thought. But the worst part was… he finally understood why he felt paralyzed sometimes. His body remembered the trauma he had been put through even if his mind didn’t. This could explain his anxiety too, not all of it, but up to some extent.

 

And this was probably the fifteenth time he woke up tonight.

 

_______

 

  
After they left planet Gree the team had a very long and heated discussion on what to do. None of them had a clear plan so they were all brainstorming with the information they had, which still was not enough. Throughout the duration of that conversation, Keith had stayed quiet, sitting on his paladin seat, knees against his chest, blankly staring up front. He had not said a single word since coming back to the castle with Lance, and nobody really dared to talk about what happened. They all knew he needed time, but most probably Lance had said something to them along the lines of not bothering him with questions, and Keith really appreciated that. 

So the discussion had started without him, and he actually listened to a couple of the ideas but he wasn’t paying that much attention in general. His mind was completely off. After all that happened, he had reached the point of numbness where he didn’t really know what to do with himself. He didn’t know if he wanted to be alone or wanted to talk to someone, to cry, or just sit there staring at nothing for the rest of the eternity. 

What he did know was what they should do next, but he remained quiet because… that would mean start revealing stuff he wasn’t sure he wanted his teammates to know. He knew he would have to tell them eventually, but it didn’t hurt delaying it a little longer, even if it was just for a few minutes. All the other plans were terrible too, and now that they really knew who the Awkan were, and what they did and probably continued on doing, it wasn’t just a matter of Keith getting back at the guys who tortured him, it was an official Voltron matter. 

He closed his eyes, trying to rest a bit. 

Years ago, when he left the castle, he had hoped that his teammates would never find about the things he was up to, and it was actually a reasonable expectation since at that time they had no plans on reuniting the team whatsoever. He didn’t even do horrible things, but compared alongside all the work they’ve done with Voltron, everything else seemed corrupt, and for some reason, he expected to be kicked out of the team and banished forever. All just tricks and fears of his own mind, of course.

'Keith?' Pidge called him, worry on her voice. 

He opened his eyes to see Pidge beside him, while the team kept discussing. He sighed, smiling tiredly at her. He was drained but wanted to maintain composure while being around his friends, they didn’t need to worry even more about him. 

Keith cleared his throat, words taking their time to come out. 'I... I know where to go.'

And here it went.

\--After he left the castle with Red many years ago, he had partnered with a guy that was a black market merchant. They had actually sold some stuff to the Awkan through Ocoa without knowing who they were. All this on a planet named _Threnya._ \--

And that was the whole explanation, the team didn’t need to know anything else for the moment. It sure wasn’t a detailed one, but they understood well enough and thankfully didn’t ask any questions. The problem now was Keith did not know if the Awkan were still on that planet, but they needed to find out. It was also their one reliable lead at the moment.

 

__________

 

  
Keith was late for the briefing they had that morning before the mission to Threnya. He had lost track of time while fighting to stay awake as he did not want to have any more nightmares. He was _exhausted._ It actually didn’t really matter if he attended the meeting or not since he wasn’t going on the mission, but still, he knew his friends were on this because of him, so he would support them in any way he could. And he didn’t mind not being on the mission, for the reason he was not going was a simple one: Keith had visited that planet more than a few times before, they couldn’t risk anyone recognizing him and blowing their cover. 

Keith went directly to the control room, not even bothering on taking a shower or even having breakfast, he just didn’t feel like it. And he looked like shit too, notorious dark bags under his eyes, his hair sticking out everywhere, and even though he didn’t follow any skin care routine like Lance did, his skin had definitely seen better days. Thankfully (or not) nobody commented on it when he came in the room though, and Keith appreciated that. 

The mission was simple. They were not to raise doubts to the locals about who they were or what they were doing on the planet. Their job was to listen to conversations and find out if the Awkan were still operating there, it was almost like a spy mission. Once they find that out, they would come back to the castle to talk about how to proceed. Coran and Keith will be monitoring the planet from the castle in case anything happened. 

Information was all they needed. It shouldn’t be that hard.

After making teams and revisiting the routes they were going to follow, they were ready to take off, and Keith insisted on walking them to their lions, as he had nothing else to do but also he didn’t really know what to do with himself. Also, now that they had a new hangar for the Lions, where everyone was parked beside the other, made it easier to say goodbye to everyone at once. 

Pidge, Shiro, and Hunk went on Green, Allura and Lance were going on Blue, but they weren’t on board just yet. Allura was explaining something about the castle scanners to Coran, and Lance was waiting for her to be done. He was staring at Keith who had his gaze lost in the distance of the hangar, his arms crossed over his chest, and an exhausted-looking expression on his face. 

‘Did you… eat?’ Lance asked coming closer. 

‘What?’ Keith looked up confused, coming back from his trance. 

‘Did you… I mean… You look a bit pale. Did you eat already?’ 

‘I am pale, Lance.’ He said flatly, avoiding the question. 

Lance rolled his eyes. ‘You know that’s not what I mean…’

‘I’m fine.’ Keith cut him short.

Lance opened his mouth but Allura called him to get to the lion, and not knowing what else to say he obeyed, but not before going to Coran and saying something to him too. 

The lions left and Keith and Coran were left to their means. Keith went to the control room and Coran excused himself for a moment. 

Again, there wasn’t much to do. The team should update them if anything happened and they had already turned on the scanners, if something approached the castle, they would know. Keith just sat on his paladin seat trying not to fall asleep, which was actually a full time task at the moment. He quickly spaced out though, and didn’t notice when Coran came back to the control room. 

‘Keith, if you don’t feel up to… you can always go and try to catch some rest, you know? I’ll manage just fine.’ Coran gave him a smile and handed him a cup of tea and some cookies. ‘Here, Lance told me maybe you needed some food.’ 

Of course Lance would do that.

Keith took them, and the hot tea felt great down his throat, the cookies were a nice addition too. And it kind of bothered him how much better he felt in general, but maybe what bothered him the most was how Lance knew how to take care of people, something that he yet had to learn. He had been getting better at it with time. He was definitely better than when they first met, better even than when he had to lead Voltron all those years back. Or so he hoped, at least.. 

He made a mental note to thank Lance later. 

‘Thank you, Coran. But don’t worry, I’m fine. I’ll stay.’ He managed to return the smile. 

The truth was that he was too scared to go to sleep, even if he did, in fact, crave some rest. 

About an hour in the mission, Shiro updated them on what was going on. They hadn’t found out anything useful yet to tell if the Awkan were still there, but they still had places to go. It wasn’t looking very promising though, and Keith felt that they weren’t going to find anything after all. 

He sighed, very frustrated. He knew what was the next option and it gave him an overwhelming range of mixed feelings. He wasn’t scared, but more like uncertain of not knowing if it was a good idea or not.

Keith felt an unknown uncomfortable weight sit on his chest.

‘Hey, Coran… do we have a map on the _Eriani Galaxy?’_ He hesitated.

‘Why yes, we do! Pretty big one I might say… Are you looking for something in particular?’

Keith nodded and walked out of the room. He didn’t remember exactly the coordinates or the name, but he had it all written on a small notebook in his room. 

‘A planet named _Oyoun.’_ He said coming back and handing a paper with coordinates to Coran, who in less than a minute had the planet with three moons showing up on the hologram map.

‘I’m guessing we are going there.’ 

‘Yes, I mean… if we don’t find…’ But the answer was already clear. ‘Yeah, we have to.’ Keith said looking up at the map, a bit hypnotized. This was only the second idea he had, but it was also his very last resource, if this didn’t work out they’ll be back to where they started. 

‘Son,’ Coran sighed. ‘We can tell there are a bunch of things you are not mentioning to us…’ Keith froze in site, not saying anything, he just kept staring at the map. Coran came closer and put a hand on Keith’s shoulder. ‘But we are worried. We all want you to be okay… to be happy…’ And Keith wanted to look at him, but he couldn’t, he didn’t dare. ‘We are not going to push you, but know that you are not alone.’ 

Coran didn’t say anything else and neither did Keith. 

The team came back a few hours later pretty much empty handed but not quite, Allura and Hunk were the only ones that had gotten some kind of useful information. 

The Awkan had left that star system not that long ago, and the planet was quite a mess after that apparently. Turns out they had been controlling people to get their hands on some kind of special tech they needed to build something, but they didn’t know what. And of course, nobody knew what happened to them after they left. 

‘I’m so sorry guys, I thought…’ 

‘Keith, you had no way of knowing they wouldn’t be there. We have to verify and rule out any possibilities.’ Shiro interrupted him. 

‘Yeah buddy, besides it was a pretty peaceful mission. So, no worries.’ Hunk tried to cheer him up. 

‘True that, but now we don’t have anything to go on… again!’ Pidge huffed sitting on her paladin seat. Her frustration was visible.

‘Oh, but we do!’ Coran said looking at Keith and nodding in encouragement. 

Keith nodded back and took a deep breath. He hated the fact that it was getting harder to keep stuff from the rest of the team, but he knew it was what needed to be done, and he was going to do what was necessary to stop the Awkan from hurting more people.

'We need to go here.' He said firmly, faking confidence like his life depended on it. He pointed to the third moon of the planet shown on the hologram map. 'I know… someone… who can help us.' Keith looked at the team. ‘I uh… I’ve never been there though. All I know is that all four, the planets and the moons are friendly.’ 

‘I already made a route for us to get there, it should take us very little.’ Coran said, supporting Keith on this new plan. 

‘Alrighty then! Let’s get going.’ Lance approved. The rest of the team agreed too and they set course to the third moon of Oyoun. 

_______

 

As they still had time before getting to the moon everyone went to do their own. And not having anything to do and not really wanting to be alone in his room, Keith decided to go thank Lance.

‘Lance?’ Keith called, knocking lightly on the door that opened just a few seconds later. 

‘Yeah?’ Lance voice a bit rouge. He was laying on his bed under the covers.

‘Were you sleeping? I’m sorry, didn’t mean to wake you. I’ll come back later.’ Keith blurted already turning to leave. 

‘Wait, no! I mean, yes I was taking a nap, but no biggie…’ He turned to his side, facing the room. ‘Come on in... Do you mind if I stay in here? It’s so cozy.’ Lance rubbed his eyes.

‘Not at all.’ Keith said and sat on the floor with his back against the bed.

‘So, what’s up?’ 

‘Uh, nothing really. I just wanted to thank you for telling Coran to bring me food…’ He looked at his friend smiling.

‘Oh, sure man. You seemed like you needed it.’ 

‘I guess I did…’ 

And that was it, Keith didn’t say anything else but didn’t leave either. 

Lance stared at him, scrutinizing his face. The dark circles under his eyes looked even worse than that very same morning, and Lance could definitely tell those were from lack of sleep. So without thinking that much, he moved over so there was room for another person on the bed.

‘Wanna sleep with me?’ He said patting the bed. ‘I mean-’ Lance facepalmed realizing what he just said. ‘You just look like you need some sleep, okay?’ He corrected himself very exasperatedly. 

Keith looked at the bed, and he didn’t know if it was the bed that looked too inviting or Lance’s nice gesture but without thinking it twice he got up and laid beside Lance, over the covers. 

‘I can’t sleep.’ He confided, staring at the ceiling.

‘Mmm… Have you tried warm milk?’ 

Keith reached under his head, grabbed the pillow, and smashed Lance’s face with it. 

‘Hey!’ Lance complained taking the pillow off of Keith’s hands, throwing it to the other side of the room. ‘I was serious.’ He frowned.

Keith eyed him and rolled to his side. ‘Give me your pillow.’ He demanded.

‘No! You are not allowed more pillows.’ 

‘You threw mine and now I don’t have one to lay my head on.’ He insisted.

‘Fine, we can share mine, but no more pillow smashing.’ Lance warned and moved his pillow so it was half on his side and half on Keith’s. Lance laid on it and Keith did the same, his hair covering half of Lance’s face. 

‘Oh my god, are you serious? Get a freaking haircut, dude.’ Keith shifted to his other side, so that his back was now to Lance, and moved his head smoothly so now his hair was covering the entirely of Lance’s face. 

‘I hate you so much.’ Lance hissed while getting the hair out of his face and tucking it under Keith’s head. 

Keith chuckled silently, but once Lance was settled silence invaded the room, and it felt heavy on them. Keith took a few deep breaths, trying to relax, and noticed how Lance’s pillow smelled so distinctly like him. It smelled _nice._ And it was overwhelming in the best way possible.

‘Keith, are you sleeping?’ Lance couldn’t bare the silence for that long.

‘I just told you I can’t sleep!’ Keith rolled his eyes even if Lance could not see him. 

‘Oh shoot, right. Sorry’ He rolled over so now he was facing Keith’s back ‘So, why can’t you?’

Keith sighed heavily, the irritation from before going away. He shouldn’t get mad at Lance. ‘I don’t know…’ He lied, rolling to his other side, so now they were facing each other, and they were pretty close too, but neither of them moved away. 

‘Okay, I do know.’ He groaned. ‘It’s just… it's everything. Well, not everything. The sleeping is because of the nightmares, but also everything else, and I-UGH!’ Keith rolled his eyes, hissing loudly. He did not mean to vent like that to Lance, he was actually trying to keep a cool facade so his friends wouldn’t worry so much about him, but… maybe nobody could keep such a poker face after all.

‘Okay, just take it easy… how about you just talk about one thing at a time?’ Lance offered with a kind smile.

Keith took a deep breath, but then again maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea to talk about one or two things… 

‘Ever since visiting Gree… I just can’t sleep… because of the nightmares…’

‘Nightmares… about what?’

Keith didn’t answer, and Lance got it immediately.

‘That’s fine, you don’t have to tell me.’ He assured. ‘What about the rest?’

‘The rest?’ Keith laid on his back, avoiding Lance’s gaze and staring at the ceiling. ‘It’s _everything_ … trying to find this… friend. Trying to get a fucking clue about the Awkan, and the fear of something happening to any of us because of them… or knowing what to do… I have not fucking clue what to do, Lance… I just don’t know… and I really don’t know why I’m telling you all this.’ He chuckled nervously.

‘Yeah, you are right… is not like we are friends or anything.’ Lance teased.

Keith nudged him on the side, shaking his head.

‘Ow!’ 

‘You totally deserve that.’ 

‘Perhaps, but come on Keith, even if you don’t want to be friend with me anymore, I’m your right hand man! I kinda expect you to tell me this kinds of things.’

‘Why would I not want to be friends with you?’ Keith turned to look at him.

‘I don’t know, maybe you-’

‘Have I ever given you that impression?’ And Keith was frowning mad at him.

‘Uh… no but-’

‘Then why would you say something so stupid.’

‘I- hey don’t be rude! It was a joke.’

‘It wasn’t funny.’ Keith murmured and went back to stare at the ceiling. 

Lance was taken aback by Keith’s answer. 

‘I’m sorry Keith, didn’t want to upset you but… I’m your right hand man _and_ your friend, you can come to me with anything, you can _tell_ me anything.’

‘Thanks Lance.’ 

‘No problem.’ 

Keith felt Lance fidgeting beside him and predictably enough Lance was opening his mouth again and asking something not even a few minutes later.

 

 

‘So..’ He tried to make it casual. ‘What’s with this friend of yours?’ And Lance knew he probably shouldn’t ask, but he couldn’t help it, he was even more curious about it that Keith wasn’t given all the information.

Keith looked at him from the corner of his eye, hesitating on what he was going to say next.

‘Uh… you are just probably going to find out… a few ugly stuff I didn’t want you to know.’

‘Oh…’

‘Yeah…’

‘...’

‘...’

‘I’m sure is not so terrible.’ Lance laughed lightly, trying to lift his mood. ‘Actually, I’m _sure_ you are just making a big fuss out of it… Like, come on Keith, we know you, you are not a bad person. Gosh and I thought I was the overdramatic one.’ He laugh but could see his words didn’t take the worry out of Keith. ‘Look,’ He said in a more serious tone. ‘we all have made some bad decisions. Whatever you did, I’m sure you had your reasons.’ 

Lance shifted to his back. 

‘And about the Awkan… we are doing the best we can. None of us expect you to remember things and start telling us… but we trust you and whatever you decide to do.’

‘But what if I don’t know what to do?’ Keith blurted, anxiously.

‘That’s fine too… don’t worry about it in advance, and don’t worry about us either, we know how to defend ourselves.’ He chuckled.

But Keith already knew that, he had fought alongside all of his friends for years. However, this was completely different, and he knew Lance was not going to understand it, so he didn’t say anything.

‘You don’t have to carry all the weight on your shoulders, Keith.’ Lance continued. ‘We’ll be there for you… and whatever decision you make…’ And he went quiet for a few seconds. ‘Whatever you decide, I’ll follow… I trust you, Keith.’ He finished, his voice full of determination.

Keith felt the corners of his mouth turning up in the faintest of smiles, and the weird weight on his chest turn warm at Lance’s words. He definitely hadn’t come here to have a heart to heart talk or anything similar, and he appreciated it, truly, but still there was a huge part of himself trying to ignore whatever feeling all these word brought, because acknowledging them would only bring more misunderstanding and hurt. He was sure of that.

‘Thanks.’ Was all he said. 

‘Sure.’ Lance yawned.

The two of them went quiet laying on Lance's bed, and after a while… Lance started snoring. And not that much later Keith started feeling very sleepy too, exhaustion creeping in every single bone and muscle of his body. 

Keith didn’t notice when he fell asleep, but he got about two full hours of uninterrupted rest.

 

_____

 

_‘Paladins’_ Coran called through the castle speakers. Both Keith and Lance jumping awake on the bed. _‘ ‘We have arrived at the third moon of Oyoun. The princess needs your presence in the control room.’_ ‘

_____

 

When Keith and Lance arrived at the control room the rest of the team was already there talking.

‘Wow, who knew that beauty sleep could actually make you look uglier.’ Pidge said looking at Lance, who had his hair sticking out in every direction. Lance just gave her the finger, not awake enough to answer back. Shiro rolled his eyes, shaking his head in disbelief, while the rest of the team laughed.

‘So Keith, how should we proceed?’ Shiro asked turning to him.

‘What?’ Keith asked back, widening his eyes.

‘What’s the plan?’ 

‘I uh…’ Keith hadn’t thought that at all, and it made him a little nervous how everybody was waiting on him to say something. 

‘Maybe we can separate into teams like on Threnya and search for him?’ Lance suggested when Keith didn’t say anything.

‘Yes, that could work-’

‘No.’ Keith said flatly, everybody turning to him again.

‘No?’ Shiro repeated. ‘Do you know where to find him?’

‘Uh, no.’ 

‘Then Lance’s plan is not so-’

‘I… I want to go alone.’ Keith blurted.

‘What?’ Pidge asked, confusion all over her voice.

‘I know it sounds…’

‘Stupid.’ She added.

‘Crazy but I… I need to go alone. I promise nothing is going to happen.’ 

‘Is this about what you told me in my room?’ Lance broke in, none of the rest understanding what he meant.

‘What? No, I just… Haven’t seen this friend in a while.’ And that was actually true, and the main reason. Keith just didn’t know how he was going to react, or how his friend was going to react.

‘Keith you know we can’t let you go alone.’ Shiro frowned.

‘Please.’ Keith tried.

‘No.’ Pidge said flatly.

‘You don’t get to say what I can and can’t-’ 

‘But we do, we all know what happen last time you decided to go on your own.’ Pidge interrupted him, and Keith knew she didn’t mean to say anything hurtful but it still hit Keith on the chest a little.

‘Pidge, is not that…’

‘Then what?’

‘I just don’t want everybody there when i find him…’ He trailed off.

‘Keith.’ She said a lot more softer now.

‘We understand what you mean Keith,’ Allura commented. ‘but we can’t let you go alone. Even if the planet is peaceful, we don’t know what we are facing, please understand.’ And Keith did, he really did.

‘Maybe not everybody has to go… I’ll go with you if you want me to.’ Lance volunteered .

‘Yeah, me too.’ Hunk added raising his hand.

And Keith finally agreed with them on having the two other paladins joining him on the mission. It was true that if anything happened, three was better than one, but Keith knew nothing was going to happen.

 

__________

 

The third moon of Oyoun looked similar to planet Arus. The landscape was similar, the houses were similar too, not the inhabitants though. They were all immigrants from other planets or moons, making it a far more diverse planet.

As Keith said, this moon was not dangerous or anything like that, the people here lived peacefully and in harmony with each other. It actually puzzled Keith to be looking for his friend in this planet, but there was no mistake, this _was_ the place his friend told him to look if someday Keith wanted to see him again. 

Keith was nervous, his hands were sweaty and his heart was beating a little faster than normal. He had more than one reason to feel like that, but the last thing he wanted was his friends to notice. So he tried really hard to appear calm and normal. Which didn’t work, obviously. They noticed the moment they left the castle, but once again neither of them said anything.

Once on the city Lance and Hunk were waiting for Keith to tell them what to do, but he didn’t really know either. He had never been to that place before and his friend didn’t really specify where to find him exactly. So now, there were standing there, in the middle of the city, trying not to look very suspicious, and not really knowing where to go or who to talk to. 

Looking at how nervous Keith was, Lance decided to take the lead and follow the simplest plan: ask around. What was the worst that could happen? 

Keith told them they needed to ask for Khoen from planet Ethoryx. At first, they thought on separating and each going to a different sector to ask, so like that they could cover more ground, but Lance immediately decided against that idea, as he saw Keith growing even more uncomfortable with the plan. And he was right, Keith was taking deep breaths and trying to pass unnoticed at the same time, and even though he wanted to do this mission alone in the first place, now that his friends were there with him, he didn’t want to be left alone. But it was also a matter that none of them wanted to get in any kind of trouble.

Their first stop was the residential side of the city. 

The three paladins asked around people walking on the streets, and it was almost too simple of a plan. One would think them being the paladins of Voltron and the defenders of the universe would come up with a better idea, but they were pretty much hand tied with the whole situation. And a big part of that was because Keith didn’t want to give any more information about his friend, none of their teammates pushed him though. 

The asking didn’t go pretty well as nobody knew who Khoen from planet Ethoryx was, and again, when asked for a description Keith just wouldn’t answer. But as frustrating as the situation was, Lance and Hunk did not ask about it, they didn’t want to add to the nervousness and anxiety Keith was feeling 

At the market they encountered, at first, an apparently more fruitful situation. People seemed to remember someone with that name that lived there for a while, but the deeper they asked the more incongruent the answers were between the others. They were all loose ends, and it started to look as if everyone was talking about different people. The only person that actually knew something was an old lady that owned the last store on the street.

‘I know him.' She laughed. 'He’s a very tall, handsome fella.’ She commented cheerfully with her raspy voice. She was more humanoid than other aliens around there. Short, with a crooked back, bright pink skin, and a white dress. She was sweeping the entrance of her store. ‘I will definitely tell him that you asked for him when he comes back.’

‘When is he coming back? Did he say where he was going?’ Keith asked eagerly.

‘He didn’t say anything, but I’m guessing he’ll be back in a few months... What is your name? Maybe he can contact you.’ 

Keith stared blankly at the old lady and kept quiet for a few seconds, going through his options. ‘Tell him…’ He hesitated. ‘Tell him a close friend is looking for him.’ And it was vague but Keith didn’t add anything else. 

The three paladins left disappointed. They kept asking around for about an hour but without any good luck. 

Before going back, Hunk said he wanted to buy a few goods for the castle. They weren’t in a rush so Lance and Hunk went back to the stores while Keith waited for them at the fountain in the center of the market. 

Keith really appreciated the time alone. His mind was going miles an hour. This hadn’t been a sure shot, but Keith couldn’t help but feel a bit betrayed. His chest was tight and his stomach felt heavy. He closed his eyes breathing deeply, he couldn’t afford to have an anxiety attack, not now, and definitely not there. He looked around trying to calm himself down. People walked past him without a worry and just living their lives. This was actually a pretty good planet to live in, he thought. Though Keith was never going to visit that planet ever again, or that is what he told himself at least. 

He didn’t know what they were going to do next, he could not even think of anything, to begin with. He shivered at the thought, even when the weather was warm and nice. 

Lance and Hunk came back with two bags full of different kinds of goods. Some were food, others were tech. Lance even bought himself some kind of alien Rubik's cube. Apparently, the one he brought from earth had mysteriously disappeared. He blamed Pidge.

They made their way back to the castle, Lance and Hunk leading the way. They were both talking but Keith couldn’t hear what they were saying as he was walking a little farther away from them. Not really caring that his friends pace was faster than his. He didn’t want to go back to the castle. And Keith was so distracted by his own thoughts that he didn’t notice when someone started following him. It was barely evident for the people around, but Keith would have caught it if he'd been more alert. 

The person made sure Lance and Hunk were not within reach when he grabbed both of Keith's hands with one arm, putting a knife to his throat with the other one. 

Keith’s first instinct was to call for Lance and Hunk, but the moment he opened his mouth he felt the pressure of the knife increasing against his throat. Both of his hands were held behind his back in such a way that he couldn’t reach his comm, nor his emergency signal. He didn’t have any escape. 

His chest tightened as unwanted memories invaded his mind, and fear ran cold through his veins. There was no way he was going back to anything similar, he repeated in his mind. He was not going to let that happen even if it was the last thing he did. 

‘Surely more than someone has told you to never lower your guard.’ The muffled voice interrupted Keith’s thoughts. Keith tried to force his way out, but the grip on his hands was very tight. The person laughed, and Keith swallowed hard feeling the pressure of the knife a little more against his throat. ‘You know… not many people know me by that name… Khoen.’ 

Keith froze in place, holding his breath. _It couldn’t be._

The knife retreated slowly and his hands were released. 

‘But seriously Keith, I thought I taught you to never lower your guard. No matter what.’ The voice was not muffled anymore, and Keith knew who it was. He turned around to find a tall, handsome alien. 

‘Ekya.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	8. From a past life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My beta: Secretlyadragon on Tumblr.

Keith was going as fast as Red could, still, the ones after him were right behind him and he couldn’t shake them off his tail. Maybe the few hits Red received a few minutes ago had affected the lion’s speed, although the scanners weren’t showing any sign of damage whatsoever. Whatever it was, it was the worst timing ever to get a malfunction.

He heard Shiro announcing their retreat not that long ago, but got caught in a spiral of enemy ships shooting at him so he couldn't escape right away. When he finally evaded all the ships and made a run for it, he couldn't find the team anywhere. He took Red and circled the area. He could have sworn the rest of his friends were there just a few seconds ago, but they were nowhere to be seen, and they wouldn't have made a wormhole jump without him, would they? Keith shook his head and dismissed that thought immediately. Focusing on the ships that were still going after him, he tried to gain more distance from them but it wasn’t enough. The ships were almost at his rear again, and they were too many to take them down on his own. 

'Hello? Shiro?... Lance?' Keith tried on Red's comm. 'Guys, I need help!' But the only thing Keith heard back was static. 

'Fuck.' The ships chasing him started shooting and they were actually hitting him. Keith tried to make some evasive maneuvers but his controls weren’t responding that well, making Red do half a turn that left them with their right flank completely open.

'Come on, come on! We need to get out of here!' He yelled trying to move his control sticks without use. 

Slowly Red lost speed and stopped moving altogether, shutting down completely.

'No! Nonononono. Please! Come on! _Please_!' Keith cried in distress.

A giant Galra ship appeared to his right out of nowhere and started loading its main gun, pointed at Keith. 

Red opened his cockpit. 

'What are you doing? I'm not leaving you here!' And Keith could see the beam almost fully charged. 'Red please!' He whispered tightening his grip on the sticks.

The beam was fully charged.

In a blink of an eye, Keith saw the beam being shot at him, light filling his sight, and just as it was about to hit him...

_

Keith woke up gasping for air desperately. He was covered in cold sweat and could not remember where he was. Panicking, he tried to get out of bed but someone held his hand.

'Hey, hey, it’s okay, it was a nightmare.' 

But Keith felt his chest so tight he thought he was having a heart attack. 

' _Ekya._ ' He said between panting, rubbing his eyes trying to make the spots on his eyesight go away. 

'Look at me, look at me.' Ekya was holding his face now, forcing him to focus on him. 'Breathe in, breathe out.' Keith knew the drill, it wasn’t the first time this happened, but it was always hard to remember when he was in such a panic state. 'Breathe in, breathe out.' Ekya continued and Keith followed, eyes closed, only focusing on Ekya’s voice.

And they stayed like that for a while, until Keith had completely calmed down.

 

'You haven't had one like this in months.' Ekya said handing him a glass of water and sitting beside Keith on the edge of the bed. 'You were screaming… calling for people.' 

'What people?' the question leaving his mouth before he could stop it. There was no need to ask, he already knew.

'Your Voltron friends... all of them, I’m guessing.'

Keith drank some water, but it was still a bit hard to swallow.

'Sometimes I wonder... what horrors did you have to endure to scream like that at night...'

'Is not their fault.' He whispered, holding his glass a little bit tighter. 

'Yeah, I know…' Ekya looked at him, taking his hand and squeezing it. 'Come on, let's go back to sleep.' He said laying back on his side of the bed.

'I don't think I can.’ But it was a lie. He was absolutely drained, but he didn’t want to go to sleep, not if he was going to have another nightmare. 

And Ekya noticed.

'Come here.' He insisted and Keith laid on the bed next to his partner. 'I promise, nothing is going to happen to you while I'm around.' He said looking into Keith's dark purple eyes and softly stroking his cheek with his thumb. The room was quiet, the only sound that was hearable was Keith’s breathing, still a bit faster than normal. Keith took a deep breath and kissed Ekya's hand. 

'I promise.' Ekya’s voice echoed inside him as he closed his eyes already succumbing to his exhaustion. 

Gently, Ekya kissed his forehead, and not long later they both were completely asleep, arms and legs tangled in each other.

 

__________

 

'Good morning sunshine!' Ekya chirped as he drew the curtains, letting the sunlight inside the room. 

Keith hadn’t noticed Ekya waking up, less of all getting up, and apparently, it had been a while since that. Keith liked sleeping in but usually didn’t get to do that when working for Ekya. Today was different though, Ekya let him sleep later, he knew Keith needed some extra rest after having nightmares.

'I need you to get out of bed.' He whispered to his ear, but the only response Keith gave was a groan. 'Come on, breakfast is already served. We have a great day ahead.' 

'Why so early?' He complained, his eyes still closed. Ekya laughed at that and disappeared to the kitchen. Keith groaned once again and kicked the bed sheets. He would have pay to keep on sleeping, but apparently, what Ekya said wasn’t in the slightest a suggestion. Also he was feeling a little hungry so he got up and put on his robe. 

The smell coming from the kitchen was amazing, and when he actually got there he could see why. Ekya had put on together breakfast with eggs, bacon, some toast with jam, some orange juice, even some fruits. It was an old-fashioned earth breakfast. 

'What is this? How did you- Where did you get all these things?' Keith asked furrowing his eyebrows. It was too early for him to understand what was going on. He sat in his spot and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and letting the different smells invade his senses, it was mouthwatering.

'I called some people…' He shrugged like it was nothing, sitting in front of Keith. 'I actually liked the taste of some of those things.' 

'Wreelly?' Keith had already started to eat everything and had his mouth full of eggs. 'Like what?' 

'Like the orange juice, and toast too.' He said taking one of Keith’s toasts and biting into it.

'Hey!' Keith complained, but his tone was light and cheerful.

'Do you remember what day is today?' 

'Uhm... the day we make that big trade?' He tried, biting his bacon. 

Ekya sighed and laughed it out.

'I didn't expect you to remember it really... but still…' He stood up and grabbed a beautifully wrapped package. 'Here, I got you this.' He handed the package to Keith. 'Happy anniversary.' 

Keith swallowed the food, took the package and stare at it for a while, smiling. He opened it carefully, and inside there was a beautiful black jacket with white stripes along the sleeves, it also had a hoodie.

'It obviously reminded me of you and couldn't help myself.' 

Keith took off his robe and tried it on. It fitted perfectly, and Keith was staring at it in awe. 

'Wow, I didn't think you would like it that much.' Ekya chuckled.

'Its... just perfect.' Keith beamed at him. 

'Good.' He then handed Keith another package that he had been hiding behind his back. 'I also got you this. I saw you checking it out the other day when we went out.' 

Keith's eyes widened in anticipation because he absolutely knew what this was. He opened the small package to see a small red pocket knife.

'I don't know if you noticed that time, but it’s made out of Red Blenor, with encrypted runes from the _Kahsua_ civilization. It's a pretty rare knife you got your hands on.' He finished, very proud of his gift.

'Thank you.' Keith said with a huge smile on his face. 'but you know… you didn't have to get me all this... the breakfast would have sufficed.' He joked.

Ekya laughed and rolled his eyes. 

'But... to the contrary of your expectations... and I gotta say I’m actually a bit offended by that comment, but…' Keith went to their bedroom and came back with a package.

'I’m going to be honest… I didn't really know what to get you... then I remembered how you always lose or forget your important stuff... so there... Happy anniversary.' Keith smiled.

Ekya’s face lighted up as he opened the package, inside there was a very stylish leather utility belt. 

'Well... It’s just perfect' Ekya said smiling fondly as he was fasting the belt low around his hips.

Keith stared.

Ekya was a very handsome alien. Overall he looked humanoid, but his skin was petroleum blue with grey markings all over his body. His irises were a beautiful golden brown that contrasted warmly with his skin. His features were sharp but welcoming, and he had small geometric markings on his temples. He was tall, lean, and he moved gracefully. 

He was beautiful.

Ekya cleared his throat, and Keith noticed he had been staring for a while. 

'Sorry.' He blushed embarrassingly. 

'I don't mind.' He said nonchalantly with his deep voice. Keith rolled his eyes and went to the table to continue eating his breakfast. 

'About that trade... We're leaving in half an hour, so finish that and go get ready.' He winked at Keith and left to their bedroom.

 

 

______

 

 

'So, is there anything I should know about these guys?' Keith asked while taking the last box with merchandise from the ship dock and loading it on the cargo speeder, that was fully loaded. This was probably their biggest trade to date. 

'Uh… not really, no.' Ekya said packing away some things in the pockets of his utility belt. 'A few friends told me we should not trust anything that comes out of their mouths, but nothing out of the ordinary' he shrugged.

Keith furrowed his eyebrows but didn’t say anything. Ekya never really said more than necessary when it came to missions and clients. He always commented that he didn’t want Keith to get involved in that world, but for some reason, Keith had a weird feeling about today. 

'We are ready to leave.' Keith adjusted the safety of the cargo, put his backpack on the speeder and hopped on.

 

Keith piloted the speeder fast. They had landed their main ship on the outsides of the city, but it was a fairly easy route to the market of planet Threnya, and with the new modifications they put on the speeder, it was going faster than ever. Threnya was a yellowish planet located just outside the Nemmi system. This star system was fairly known to be one of the best and biggest places for black marketing. The whole planet was covered in deserts, hence its color, and the landscape consisted mostly of sand dunes and canyons, therefore only a small part of it had the conditions to sustain life. Threnya didn't have any native species, it was merely inhabited by merchants that lived there.

The meeting point was on the eastern side of the market, a place mostly abandoned and out of the eye of curious people. When they arrived, guards were waiting for them outside a sand-colored tent.

'Should we take our stuff with us?' Keith asked while getting off the speeder.

'No, leave everything.'

'Are you sure? What if they attack us?'

'Don't worry, I have everything under control.' Ekya winked at him, and Keith had that weird feeling again but did as Ekya said.

The guards checked the cargo and searched them both very thoroughly for guns or other kinds of instruments. After that, Ekya went inside the tent and Keith following right behind. Even if he had participated in other trades and sells before, they always made him a bit nervous. The rules were simple for him though: the negotiation was made by Ekya, under no circumstance Keith should speak to the other party, and above all, he should always be on guard… and that was actually his job, to be the protector.

Inside the tent was dark, the only light it had was focused on the desk in the back of it. Behind that desk, there was a female alien, as Keith could distinguish. She was wearing a black tunic and a black scarf over her head. Her skin was light blue and her pupils a bright magenta, and she also had some weird pinkish barbels at the corners of her mouth. It was an imposing sight, to say the least. 

Ekya stopped in front of the desk and Keith stayed behind him. Both, Ekya and the alien began speaking in a language he couldn't understand, but it didn’t really matter, it wasn’t the first time that happened and it was definitely not going to be the last. But as always, in these cases, he needed to be extra cautious with the body language the merchants showed and the environment. So he began to observe around. There were two guards behind the desk and two outside the entrance, they were all different races, which was a bit curious. There was also a guy keeping a table near the entrance that had a lot of different weapons and instruments, that were probably taken from other merchants. From guns to knives, and a few other things that caught Keith's attention, like a small golden orb. 

Luckily he actually had followed Ekya’s instruction to leave everything on their speeder, or else he would have lost his new Red Blenor knife.

On the alien’s desk, there was a small metal box. The alien opened it and showed it to Ekya, who nodded in agreement. Then she whispered something to one of her guards, who went outside and came back with one of the cargo boxes. They opened it and inspected it, but the alien did not seem as satisfied as Ekya was with the merchandise. The tone of her hissing voice intensified, and it was actually pretty creepy. 

Keith was alert but didn’t make any movement that could alarm the guards. They should try at any cost to avoid getting in trouble because if anything happened they would have to fight their way out, old-fashioned way. And Keith had the slightest impression that these guys were a lot stronger than they looked like.

Ekya laughed casually and talked again gesturing with his hands, and Keith had the impression he was trying to convince them. The alien, on the other end, was still not really having it, but Ekya walked towards her and put a hand on her shoulder. The guards immediately took their defensive positions and slowly started getting closer. Keith did not know what to do, he stared at the guards ready to defend Ekya, but the guards were not really doing anything menacing, and Keith, against his best impulsive decisions, didn’t want to start a fight. The tension in the air was so, that it could definitely be cut with a knife. 

Ekya didn’t seem to mind the guards and kept talking. He pointed at the box with one hand and kept the other glued to the alien’s shoulder. 

After a few minutes, that definitely felt like hours to Keith, the alien seemed convinced and agreed with whatever terms and merchandise they were selling to them, and they shook hands. Ekya grabbed his end of the bargain and put it in his pocket before Keith could actually take a look. 

The alien talked again, but Ekya was already slowly walking towards the door, Keith following him. Ekya replied back a few words, bowing in respect as the guard at the weapon table searched him and Keith again before letting them go. 

Outside, the rest of the guards had already downloaded everything from the speeder. 

'What just happened?' Keith asked a little confused.

'We got a better deal.' Ekya smirked. 'We… should probably go, though.' 

'Why? What did you do?' Keith grabbed Ekya’s hand and stopped him, looking at him with worried eyes.

'Nothing, but I have the feeling they should be about to-' Shouting from inside the tent interrupted him and he tugged Keith’s hand making their way to the ship. 'Figure it out now…' Five guards came out of the tent shooting at them without mercy. 

Keith and Ekya hid behind their speeder while the guards keep shooting nonstop.

'I uh… also took this.' Ekya took out of his utility belt the golden orb that was on the table inside the tent. 'Couldn't help it, they don't deserve to have this, they’ll probably use it to kill people or such.' He grimaced. 

'Ekya! What did you actually do?’ Keith opened his eyes wide. ‘You know we should not be taking stuff from these guys, they seem dangerous.’ He continued in a serious tone. ‘What is it anyway?’ He asked curiously, taking the orb from Ekya’s hand and examining its smooth surface.

'Oh, it’s a-' The shooting intensified as backup arrived. 'Mm... we should probably leave.' 

Keith eyed inside the speeder. 'I have an idea, but I need my backpack.' 

'Where is it?' Keith pointed to it and Ekya stretched one of his long arms reaching it. Keith looked inside and took out two small cubes.

'What are tho-' Keith had already thrown one of the cubes at the guards and there was a gigantic explosion. He took Ekya’s hand and got on the speeder. 

 

Keith was going as fast as he could but the guards were already getting closer and closer to their ship. Ekya was shooting back at them but it was useless, they had a force field that protected them. 

That should be their next upgrade, Keith thought. 

'Where did you get that bomb?' Ekya shouted over the noise of the wind and the guns. 

'I made it!' Keith shouted back, maneuvering to avoid the gunshots.

'You what- FASTER, go faster!' He shouted while still trying to shoot them down. The guards were already on their tail, their ships much faster than their little cargo speeder. ' _Fuck!_ '

'Here, use this.' Keith handed him the other cube bomb without taking his eyes off the road. 'Point it to the ground.' He instructed.

Ekya stared at it for a second and threw it. 

The minute the cube touched the ground it started giving in on itself, and the ships falling in the new huge hole that was being formed. The bomb was so powerful, the ground was starting to fall around them too, threatening to swallow them underground along with their attackers.

‘Oh shit!’ Trying to avoid the increasing huge hole on the ground, Keith made a ninety-degree turn that almost made them crush against a rock, but before anything could happen, he drove them away from there and out of any danger.

Ekya stared astonished at the now far away explosions from the last guard ships falling in the ground. Keith's heart was pounding very fast in his chest, from both the excitement and the danger they just got out.

'That was... absolutely... _amazing._ ' Ekya looked at Keith in awe. 'I can't believe it, I can't believe you, I can’t believe-' Ekya stopped there and grabbed Keith’s shirt pulling him closer and kissing him. It was a loving and caring kiss that lasted long enough for the speeder to go a bit out of track.

'Woah there, keep your eyes on the road.' 

Keith rolled his eyes but chuckled, making the speeder go faster.

 

_____________________

 

 

 

‘So that’s Ekya…’ Lance tried to make some small talk. ‘Man, I can’t believe we finally got to meet Keith Kogane’s famous ex-boyfriend.’ He joked lightly.

But Keith didn’t respond. He hadn’t really said anything since encountering Ekya back at the market, and actually, everything since that moment had been kind of a blur. He didn’t even remember how he got inside Red, but there he was standing right beside Lance, who was piloting Red, as they were flying behind Ekya’s ship, making their way to the Castle. Keith had asked Hunk to go with Ekya on his ship as he didn’t really know if it was a good idea for them to travel together at that very moment. It was probably the first conscious decision he had made in the last couple of hours, but it was actually a good one, because it would be a lie to say that he wasn’t a little scared, although he didn’t actually know of what he was scared… maybe it was just the ghosts of the past that somehow still haunted him.

‘Keith?’ Lance hesitated, looking at him from the corner of his eye. ‘Hey, are you okay?’ He tried again.

Keith wasn’t even listening to Lance, he was barely paying attention to what was going on at the moment, his gaze completely lost in all the thoughts going through his mind.

‘Hey…’ Lance grabbed Keith’s arm, making him come back from his trance. ‘Is there something wrong?’ He asked, worried.

‘Hmm?’ Keith looked at him. ‘Oh, sorry… uh, no, not really.’ But there was doubt in his voice, and Lance noticed.

‘Should we not be trusting this guy? Did he do something to you?’ He squeezed Keith’s arm lightly, trying to encourage Keith to tell him whatever it was that he didn’t want to say.

‘What?’ Keith frowned. ‘No, no, he’s good. He’s…’ And he hesitated again. ‘He’s a great guy.’ 

‘Then what is it?’ Lance asked slowly taking his hand off of Keith’s and turning back to his controls.

‘Is just…’ He scratched his neck. ‘To be honest with you… I never thought I’d see him again… I didn’t plan to, at least…’ He trailed off. He had never admitted that out loud, and it was very strange to admit it, but it was the truth nonetheless. And even if his mind was a chaotic tangle of thoughts at the moment, he was certain of that, at least.

‘Uh… didn’t you just say he was a great guy?’ 

‘He is.’

‘Then why would you not want to see him again?’ 

‘I didn’t say that.’ 

‘Keith-’

‘I said I didn’t plan to. It’s different.’ He finished, not really wanting to keep talking about it any longer. 

Lance looked at him from the corner of his eye, but Keith was looking up front, to the ship they were following, lost in thought once again. 

‘Okay.’ Lance whispered more to himself than to Keith, but he had already his doubts on if they should really be trusting Ekya.

 

 

________ 

 

 

‘So, to what do I owe the pleasure of meeting Voltron?’ Ekya chatted crossing his legs. 

They were all sitting in the common room of the castle. The team had already introduced themselves and were ready to get to the point and ask him for help. There was no time to lose. 

Keith wasn’t ready though. 

After the team found out the friend Keith was looking for was Ekya, his ex-boyfriend, they all reacted differently. Allura, Shiro, and Coran were very welcoming, thankfully. Hunk and Lance had already gotten their first impressions, Hunk being totally excited, and Lance was too at first, although now he was a lot quieter than back on the planet. It was Pidge that worried Keith the most though, she was clearly mad at him for not telling her about his plan. He wanted to talk to her but there hadn’t even had time for that, Allura made all of them go to the common room immediately after they arrived at the castle. 

 

  
‘Remember her?’ Keith passed the drawing Vitu gave them to Ekya. It was the only way Keith thought about how to introduce the subject to his friend, as he didn’t have the nerve to just say it.

‘Sure I do. Threnya a few years back. We stole some shit. They attacked us, and you bombed the shit out of them.’ Ekya laughed cheerfully.

‘Yeah… that one.’ Keith pursed his lips, his face felt a bit hot. 

‘Great times.’ Ekya smiled fondly.

‘Yeah…’ He admitted, because yes, at that point of his life it had been great times, now it was all very confusing.

‘Do you keep making deals with them?’ Lance asked a bit harshly.

‘No, haven’t even heard from them.’ Ekya answered to the team. ‘That was the one and only time we- or I, made a deal with them… I didn’t really like them. I don’t think they can be-’ 

‘Well, apparently they didn’t like you either.’ Lance interrupted.

‘I wouldn’t be surprised.’ Ekya chuckled. ‘But what exactly do you mean?’ 

Lance didn’t answer but instead looked at Keith, and Ekya turned to look at him too.

‘Keith?’ He tried but Keith was looking at his hands. ‘Did something happen?’ Ekya softly placed one of his hands on top of Keith’s.

Keith looked up but still couldn’t say it. He didn’t really know how to say it.

‘Come on Keith, you know you can tell me anything. Is not like I’m going to get mad at you or something.’ He chuckled lightly again. 

Lance rolled his eyes. ‘Can you at least be serious about all this?’ He shot, completely annoyed on how Ekya didn’t seem to notice how everyone else mood was not cheerful and joking.

‘Well,’ He deadpanned. ‘I don’t have anything to be serious about yet, as I don’t really know what is going on. But I’ll be happy to oblige.’

He then turned to Keith again.

‘Keith-’

‘I don’t know how to start.’ He interrupted, exasperatedly. He was really uncomfortable with the whole situation.

‘Maybe try to explain what-’

‘They captured, and tortured Keith, and probably used him as their pet or something.’ Lance blurted out.

‘Lance!’ Shiro shut him down. ‘Is not your place, let him talk.’ Lance crossed his arms, he knew he had overstepped but couldn’t help it, it just came out of his mouth. 

Ekya didn’t say anything, he kept looking at Keith, who was staring back at him with a faint sad smile on his face.

‘Is this true?’

Keith nodded. ‘But it’s fine.’ Keith rushed to say ‘I mean, I'm fine… I wasn’t their pet though… I was just… their weapon?’ He doubted. Ekya was still staring at him. ‘But now we just… We’ve been- I mean…’ Keith looked at Allura for help. She was always good with words.

Thankfully Allura noticed immediately.

‘This group is called Awkan, they can control people’s minds and they have been doing it for a while with purposes we still don’t quite know, but they can't be good. We need your help finding them.’ 

‘Finding them? You gonna take them down?’

‘That’s the idea.’ Shiro answered.

Ekya stayed quiet for a few minutes, lost in thought, while the rest of the team looked at each other with concerned. Keith didn’t dare to look at any of them, he stayed in silence. He did not want to force Ekya into helping him, it wasn’t an obligation. 

‘Are you going to help us?’ Hunk asked not standing the silence any longer.

Ekya turned. ‘Yes, of course. I was just thinking… I’ll help you, but… I want to fight them too.’ Ekya stared at Shiro and Allura looking for their approval. 

Keith turned to look at Ekya, more than a bit confused.

‘You are more than welcome on this mission, Ekya. We know Keith esteems you very much, it’ll be our honor.’ Allura approved. 

On the contrary, Keith didn’t really know if that was a good idea, but given the circumstances, there wasn’t something like too much help. 

With no time to lose, Ekya told them he was thinking of a few people who probably knew about the Awkan whereabouts, but he first needed to confirm that information. He needed to go to his ship and talk to some people. The team let him go, completely surprised in how fast they went from not having a clue to having potential contacts that could help them.

Keith accompanied him to the hangars.

‘You know…’ Ekya said stopping at the entrance and looking outside. ‘I wanted to contact you so many times… if I had done so, maybe I could have… helped you somehow.’

‘Is not like you knew I was… not doing well, is not your fault.’ Keith interrupted with a bit of anger in his voice.

‘I disagree.’ Ekya wasn’t looking at Keith.

‘It's not.’ Keith barked.

Ekya sighed and walked away. ‘I’ll be back in a few.’

He got on his cargo ship and left. 

 

________

 

Keith was very overwhelmed but still felt a bit relieved about the whole situation. For the first time, the Awkan did not seem out of reach, for the first time everything was actually working out, for the first time in a long time Keith felt _hopeful_. Now they just had to wait for Ekya to come back, and Keith knew what he needed to do meanwhile, so he went on looking for Pidge. Finding her in the training room. 

‘I never thought I'll find you here on your own.’ Keith said as he walked into the room. 

‘Yeah well, it actually works for clearing the mind, like you always said.’ She jumped over the drone’s leg and with a smooth movement hit it on the head with her Bayard.

‘Can we talk? Please?’ He cut to the chase.

Pidge stopped her training sequence and sighed. ‘Yeah, sure.’ She walked over to Keith, who was standing uncomfortably near the door. 

‘What’s up?’ 

Keith sighed heavily, scratching the back of his head. 

‘I’m sorry, Pidge.’ He said, finally looking at her.

‘Oh…’

The room was filled with the awkward silence of Keith’s guilt.

‘I didn’t mean to-’

‘Hey, I get it.’ Pidge stopped him ‘…. It's not like you have the obligation to tell me everything…. But I’m not gonna lie. I am a bit hurt.’ 

‘I know, and I am so sorry. I wanted to tell you… but I thought... I don’t know I thought maybe you were going to say something…’ He said shaking his head.

‘Keith, I won’t judge you for asking for help to anybody, besides, I like Ekya. I could have helped you finding him a lot quicker.’ Pidge smiled, her voice light and forgiving.

‘I know. I just… worry… I worry so much about what you guys are going to say…’ Keith dragged a hand over his face. 

‘Well I'm not going to tell you to stop worrying, that would be stupid. You can’t help it, but… I love you Keith, and I hate seeing you like this. I’ll always be there for you…. So what if you were a space pirate, you are still Keith and I know you wouldn’t hurt anybody on purpose.’

‘Huh, weird… Lance said something similar.’ He chuckled. 

Pidge smiled and grabbed his shoulders squeezing them. 

‘You’ll be fine. We are going to get through this, okay?’ Pidge stared at her friend and then hugged him tightly. Keith was a bit surprised but returned the hug nonetheless. He hadn’t realized he missed talking to her so much until that very moment. 

‘You should have told me though I would have loved being a space pirate with you. I ain’t forgiving you that easily for that one.’ 

Keith laughed and let go of his friend.

‘I'm so gonna tell you everything from now on.’ He joked.

‘Please don’t, that’s would be just too much information…’ She grimaced, but it immediately transformed into a smirk. ‘… but… you could tell me what’s going on with Lance…’ She asked nudging Keith on the side.

‘What’s going on with him?’

‘Come on Keith, I know you were in his room before getting to Oyoun. So, what’s up?’ 

‘Oh, nothing really…’ Keith shrugged. ‘We talked.’

Pidge rolled her eyes. ‘Like you always do…’ 

‘Yeah, he… I don’t know…. It's weird. When I'm with him I can let go of things for a few. He distracts me I guess. I think I missed him.’ He said scratching his neck, trying to understand what he just said.

‘Mmhm… so, you gonna do something about it?’

‘Excuse me?’ He frowned, confused.

‘KEEEEITH, you are crushing on him… _again!_ ’

‘Ha, ha, no.’ He said flatly, squinting his eyes at her. ‘I’m really not. We are just good friends now.’ 

‘I don’t know, I mean… you _are_ good friends… but you know… friends to lovers and stuff.’

‘Oh my god, no way, that train already left the station, and I clearly didn’t make it on time.’ He laughed. ‘Besides, things have changed so much. Lance has his life. I have mine… kinda. Lance does not like me that way Pidge, we’re fine the way it is.’

‘Okay, sure.’ Pidge rolled her eyes, but quickly settled down. ‘Just be careful around Ekya, please.’ 

‘Uh... yeah, sure.’ Keith shrugged.

 

_______

 

 

  
Ekya came back a few hours later just like he said. He looked very determined when he came into the control room, everyone staring at him, expectant and quiet.

‘Okay, so, I have some good news and some _small_ bad news.’ He was standing in the middle of the room in front of the main controls. ‘The bad news is that I don’t know where they are, but the good news is that I know the last person who was in contact with them.’

‘How trustworthy is this person?’ Shiro asked.

‘She isn’t.’ Everybody except for Keith looked at each other with worry. ‘Come on guys, seriously? You can’t trust any of them, they are black market merchants, space pirates!’

‘So are you…’ Lance said flatly, stating the point everyone was thinking.

‘That’s not what I meant, I don’t do the stuff they do. I'm a pretty decent person.’ Ekya defended himself. ‘I don’t rob people.’ 

‘But earlier on you said you robbed some stuff with Keith…’ Hunk commented.

‘But that was under other circumstances! Are you kidding me? We robbed a small thing from _the Awkan_ , your actual enemies right now, and you are incriminating me of doing something bad?’ Ekya sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. ‘Would you just listen to what I have to say, please? You are the ones that wanted my help in the first place.’ He searched for Keith’s help but he, once again, wasn’t looking, completely zoned out.

The team went quiet again.

‘I have a plan….’ Ekya continued. He was a bit nervous and started pacing around the room. ‘There are two stages. The first one is to go to the planet this merchant lives in and talk to her. The second one is to go to my storage place and get some weapons. It’s pretty simple.’

‘Well… we don’t really need weapons. We have Voltron.’ Hunk observed, and Lance nodded beside him.

‘I know you do, but we don’t really know what we are getting ourselves into. Maybe it’ll be better to sneak attack them, and we can’t do that if we show up in a giant cat-man robot.’ Ekya explained. ‘But we don’t know yet, that’s why we are going to talk to this person first.’

Ekya kept pacing, waiting for anyone to talk or ask something. Keith was quietly standing next to Pidge, who was sitting in her paladin seat, thoughtful. 

‘If we can’t trust this person, how do we know she is going to tell us anything?’ Shiro broke the silence. 

Ekya turned so his back was to them. ‘She probably knows who I am… she’ll tell me.’ 

‘That doesn’t sound too promising.’ Coran said doubtfully. 

Ekya rolled his eyes and turned again, facing them. ‘I uh… this is going to sound bad coming from me but… I am kind of a big deal around here… he most definitely knows me.’ He affirmed.

‘Still, that doesn’t mean she’ll tell you.’ Pidge opined.

‘True.’ Ekya looked at her. ‘But, she will. Trust me, I have my ways.’

‘Your ways?’ Lance questioned him.

‘I know how to do my job.’ He gritted his teeth. He was getting more exasperated by the minute.

‘Yeah, that’s fine, but how do you want us to trust you when you are not even telling us how your plan is going to work?’ 

‘Exactly, thanks Hunk’ Lance agreed. 

Ekya exhaled, pinching the bridge of his nose once again. ‘Okay, yes, you are right…’ He conceded. ‘I can make this person say what she has to say and not tell anyone that we were there.’ He answered seriously.

‘What, you are going to torture her now?’ 

‘Lance!’ Allura interrupted. ‘How do we know she is going to give us the right information, less of all keep her quiet after that?’ 

‘I uh…’ Ekya became noticeably more uncomfortable. ‘Okay, I have this… ability, …I can persuade people into doing stuff.’ 

‘What?’ Keith snapped out of his trance abruptly, staring at him confused.

‘Like the Awkan?’ Pidge asked grabbing Keith’s arm.

‘No, not like them.’ He dismissed immediately. ‘I can’t _control_ people, I just persuade them on a small scale… like for example, and this is going to sound stupid, but… if you didn’t know… which flavor of ice cream to get, I can make you choose… or make people sell me stuff for a cheaper price, or trade me something they don’t want to... they don’t notice.’

‘What do you _mean_ they don’t notice?’ Keith blurted, and he was holding his breath. Pidge held his hand tight.

‘Keith…’ Ekya came closer to him but Pidge stopped him. 

‘Did you ever use it on Keith?’ Shiro asked worriedly, noticing what was going on.

‘No, I would never do that.’ He said, defensively. 

‘How do we know you are telling the truth?’ Lance accused. 

Keith’s mind felt foggy. He let go of Pidge’s hand and sat in his seat, rubbing his eyes trying to just get all the information together. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest. 

‘Keith, I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you but…’

Keith held up one of his hands to shut him. ‘How does it work?’ He asked, thanking the universe because his voice did not sound as raspy as he thought it would.

‘I have to touch you for as long as I'm trying to persuade you.’

‘Just like the Awkan…’ Hunk commented but tried Keith ignored him as much as he was ignoring the gaze of everyone else on him.

‘So, wait…’ He tried to think of every time Ekya touched him, but he immediately shook his head trying to get that thought out of his head. It wasn’t the time. ‘…I think I get it now…’

‘What... do you get?’ Ekya hesitated.

‘On Threnya…’ Keith was only looking at Ekya now. ‘With Ocoa… I get it now.’ 

The team was looking at each other not really understanding what they were talking about, none of them daring to ask either. 

‘Oh, that, yes. I knew something strange was going on with her, but now I understand why she noticed it almost right away when I pulled my trick on her. She has indeed a greater power than mine.’

The tension growing in the room was palpable and more than uncomfortable. The paladins and Coran seemed very consternated by all the information. Keith, on the other hand, was trying his best to appear very calm, and it was actually working.

‘Wait a second, you…’ Hunk hesitated ‘You are saying that you used your thing on the Awkan, and they noticed? And then they attacked you?’

‘So it was your fault…’ Lance finished. ‘It was your fault that Keith got captured, I mean… they saw Keith there, and then they just wanted some revenge and tracked Keith down… and he paid the price all because you wanted a better deal?’ Lance getting more agitated as he went on.

‘I don’t blame you if you think that.’ Ekya sighed ‘I do think a part of it was a consequence of what I did.’ 

‘What?!’ Keith stood up, understanding what Ekya meant on the hangar. ‘No! It wasn't your fault. You didn’t know this was going to happen.’ Keith shot, trying to defend Ekya because even if was a consequence of what Ekya did, he didn’t know at that time that it was going to happen. 

‘Come on Keith, you know-’

‘No! Stop it. I don’t want to hear any more of this’ He was more than angry, he looked ready to punch anyone who kept saying otherwise.

‘Fine,’ Ekya said to Keith, then turned to face the others ‘I understand if you don’t trust me-’

‘Yeah, no shit.’ Lance hissed.

‘But you also don’t have anything else to continue your search with, and I just want to help you guys. Keith is my friend too and I would do anything for him.’ 

Nobody really dared to disagree with that because they all knew that was true.

‘Ekya, I’m sorry, I think we need to discuss this as a team.’ Pidge broke the silence, taking Ekya outside of the room before anyone could say anything else, and closing the doors behind him.

 

‘What do we do now?’ Hunk asked.

‘What do you mean? We follow his plan.’ Keith answered immediately, drowning all the feelings he had just a minute ago. 

‘Keith, whatever you think is right, whatever you think we should do, we’ll do.’ Allura supported him. 

‘You are not serious, are you?’ Lance looked at him incredulously, his eyes open wide. ‘You just found out he has this thing… How do you know he didn’t use it on you?’

‘He wouldn’t do that, he’s not a bad person.’ Keith said calmly. 

‘Keith, you gotta admit Lance has a point there.’ Hunk intervened but not nearly as harsh as Lance.

‘Yeah but, he doesn’t know him.’ Keith was trying to keep a straight, serious face, but it wasn’t working that well anymore. 

‘Yeah, well apparently you don’t either!’ Lance snapped. Silence immediately invading the room.

Keith glared at him. His blood was starting to boil inside him but he wasn’t going to give in. Lance didn’t know Ekya as he did, he didn’t know what he was talking about. 

‘He has a good plan…’ He sighed trying to calm down. ‘And whether you like it or not, is the only one we have.’

‘What? No! Keith, we can work something out, but you can’t just trust him after-’

‘Stop it. I have known him for more than two years, I know he wouldn’t-’

‘Yeah, you _dated_ him for more than two years and he didn’t even tell you this. Oh, I wonder why? Maybe because he was using it on you!’ 

‘He wouldn’t do that!’ Keith started pacing around the room. He didn’t know when but he had started fidgeting his fingers. He wanted to get out of that room and just avoid this whole thing.

‘But how do you know, Keith? _How?!_ ’ 

‘I just _know._ ’ His voice came out only as a whisper, but Keith was certain.

‘ _UGH_ ’ Lance groaned, but took a deep breath, also trying to calm down. ‘Keith _please_ tell me you see the red flag? Is like… right in front of you!’ Lance shouted, his small effort of remaining calm flying out of the window.

‘I trust him, okay?!’ Keith shouted back, turning to look at Lance. His eyes showed worry, and Keith knew Lance cared about him, but this just wasn’t the way and he needed to know.

‘Guys, please.’ Pidge tried. 

‘Keith, do you trust that he is telling the truth?’ Shiro intervened, serious.

‘Yes, I-’

‘You can’t be this _BLIND_ about it, _Keith please._ ’ Lance was almost begging him.

‘What do you _WANT_ from me, Lance?!’ Keith snapped at him angrily. He came closer to Lance, so now they were in the middle of the room facing each other only inches away. ‘What do you want?!! I already told you, so _what is it that you want?_ I trust-’

‘For how long have you known him? And for how long do you know us?’ 

‘ _That’s not it_ , Lance!’ Keith had his hands clenched and was keeping them glued to his sides, suddenly not really trusting himself. ‘He helped me, _he was there for me_ when I needed it.’ His throat was burning. ‘He helped me get through some really bad times! So _YES_ , I fucking trust him!’

‘So what now, he sucked your dick a few times and you trust him more than us?’ Lance huffed.

‘Lance!’ Pidge exclaimed.

‘ _WELL MAYBE I DO!_ ’ Keith exploded, their foreheads almost touching. ‘I don’t care what you think, we’ll do as he says and if you don’t like it you can fucking leave because I didn’t fucking ask you to stay here and help me.’ The words coming out like poison. 

 

Lance left the room after that. Nobody said anything. Keith felt like he was about to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!
> 
> [ X ](https://open.spotify.com/track/6NjHHTaPCpCFzajlxk4hlQ?si=nWQoey_UTkeSiTxwLogYPg)


	9. Ghost that we knew

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My beta: Secretlyadragon on Tumblr.

Keith was laying on his bed staring blankly at the ceiling, he had been trying to get some sleep before the mission, once again without any success whatsoever. This time it wasn’t because he was having nightmares or anything similar, this time it was because he was deeply upset and agitated. He couldn’t stop thinking about the fight, and his mind replayed the scene again, and again. Every time he got even angrier, but at the same time, every time it hurt him more. Keith rolled over facing the wall, crossing his arms over his chest. His brows were furrowed and his mouth set in a hard line. The fact that he could feel his eyes starting to burn again made him furious. 

He had not seen Lance since arguing. He was still so mad at him, and he knew the things he said had been too much, but at that moment his emotions were running high and he couldn’t help it. He was angry and didn’t think things through. He didn’t regret defending his thoughts on the matter, but he did regret everything else, especially telling Lance to leave.

It wasn’t that he trusted Ekya more than his friends from Voltron, because that was not true at all, but he did help Keith in a lot of ways, and he did trust him completely. Despite this, he hadn’t seen Ekya either, he did give his full support to his plan and everything that came with it, but at the moment he just didn’t feel like seeing him. Which was a problem given that they had a mission to execute that day. 

Keith’s drew a sharp breath. His necklace ticking loudly on his chest, and somehow it felt like it was almost burning his skin.

Tick.

What if Lance actually left? 

Tock.

He wouldn’t do that… would he? 

Tick.

He did have the reasons to do so after what happened. 

Tock.

But the team would have told him about it, wouldn’t they? Pidge would have come to tell, surely.

Tick

Keith grabbed the clock and violently pulled it off his neck, leaving it on his bedside table. His chest felt scorching, but it wasn’t anger. He sighed heavily and rubbed his eyes. As much as he was still mad at Lance, he wanted to see him. He wanted to know if Lance was still there.

Slowly he made his way out of the bed and out of his room. It was still pretty early and the lights in the castle were not on yet, which gave a weird melancholic sensation. Keith rolled his eyes because something like that was just what he needed to sink in his self-misery a little more. He made his way to the kitchen, and for a moment he was really hoping to find everyone having breakfast and enjoying their morning as if nothing happened and everyone was on good terms with each other… although everyone _was_ on good terms with each other… it was only Lance and him that had a _problem_. It didn’t matter though, when he opened the doors there was no one there. 

Keith made some breakfast and noticed that there was a green bottle on the counter. It had a little note stuck that had his name written on it. He knew what it was, but he decided to leave it. There was no good reason for it to be there and it actually upset him that it was almost a provocative gesture, even if it wasn’t meant to be one. 

He sat on the kitchen table and had breakfast on his own.

When he was about to finish his food the kitchen door opened and Keith lifted his head so fast his neck cracked loudly and painfully, but when he saw Hunk coming inside he couldn’t hide the disappointment on his face.

‘… Are you okay?’ Hunk looked at him with worry.

‘Uh yes, I’m…’ Keith hesitated, rubbing his neck.

‘Fine?’ Hunk filled in.

‘Yeah, that.’ Keith lied. Hunk shook his head but it was barely noticeable, he knew it was a lie, but he was not going to push Keith on the matter. Hunk went to the counter and prepared himself some food.

‘Oh, uh… Keith?’ And Keith knew what was coming, couldn’t hide the discomfort in his expression. ‘I think this is for you…’ Hunk said bringing him the bottle. 

Keith sighed, defeated. 

The bottle was very pretty, the green glass had a little shimmer on it, and it looked handmade. 

‘Do you want some?’ He said to Hunk after a moment.

‘What is it?’ Hunk raised an eyebrow.

Keith went to get a cup and poured the liquid. ‘Here.’ 

Hunk took it and smelled it. ‘This… this smells like…’ He took a sip and his eyes opened wide. ‘Are you serious? This is the most delicious orange juice I’ve had in years!’ He beamed.

Keith chuckled. 

‘Oh, man! This is so good!’ Hunk had his eyes closed, taking his time drinking the beverage. 

Keith left the bottle on the table and took the note off of it.

‘Can you make sure everyone has some, please?’ Keith asked.

‘You can count on it.’ Hunk grinned. ‘Thanks, Keith.’ 

Keith smiled back. Maybe it was a gift meant for him but that didn’t mean he couldn’t share it with everyone. Maybe they would get as happy as Hunk had and forget the tension of the moment, even if it was only for a minute. He finished the rest of his food and left the bowl in the dishwasher, making his way to the door, but before he could leave he stopped and turned to Hunk. 

‘Hey, Hunk?’ Keith doubted, he wasn’t really sure if Hunk was the right person to ask.

‘Mmhm?’

‘Have you seen…’ Keith began. ‘I mean… do you know where…’

‘Ekya is? I saw him at the dock on my way here, he’s probably still there.’ 

‘Oh…Thanks.’ Keith nodded and left. 

He wasn’t going to ask for Ekya, but it was probably for the best. They needed to talk and work things out before the mission. For the own mission’s sake. 

After the fight they had, the team had agreed with him on following Ekya’s plan, or at least Shiro, Allura, and Coran did. Pidge did too, although she had her doubts about a few aspects of it, it was nothing big. Hunk didn’t agree but didn’t oppose either, he was the one who went to see Lance after the discussion, but didn’t say anything when coming back. The team had also agreed on Ekya and Keith leading the mission, as they knew those kinds of environments. The rest of the team just needed to be ready for backup. 

Ekya was on the dock loading some boxes, his ship was as big and black as the Black Lion, and it had what was necessary to be a cargo and a warship at the same time. 

‘What are those for?’ Keith asked making Ekya jump a little in surprise.

‘Hey… uh,’ He hesitated, his usual confidence failing him. ‘just figured maybe we could give her something in exchange for the information…’ He said looking at the box he was holding.

‘I thought you were going to _convince_ her to tell us everything.’ Keith hissed and immediately regretted it. It hadn’t been his intention to be rude but the anger on his blood was still poisoning his words and he knew he needed to let go of that at once if he wanted to amend things. He sighed, closing his eyes. ‘I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to- I think I’m gonna go.’

‘No, wait!’ Ekya grabbed his arm and stopped him. ‘It’s me who should be apologizing…’ Ekya was staring at him, and he looked tired. Keith did not move, holding back the gaze, his arm still held by Ekya. 

The air felt thick and heavy like gravity was somehow stronger now. 

‘I’m sorry Keith, I really am. I know I should have told you from the very beginning, I-’

Keith stopped him. ‘I just want to know…’ He said swallowing the knot he felt in his throat. ‘If you ever used it on me… and please be honest… I won’t tell anybody.’ 

Ekya’s face fell, clearly hurt by Keith’s words.

‘I just need to know…’ And Keith wasn’t angry at Ekya… he was just disappointed. At the same time, it was something that had happened so many years ago that he didn’t feel like it was worth reacting in any way about it, or maybe he didn’t feel like having any more things to worry about, or any more feelings to deal with. He was mostly sure about the answer he was going to get, but a part of his mind couldn’t help but think what if Lance was actually right about this. If Ekya had used his thing on him, during their relationship, what was he going to do? 

Keith swallowed once again, almost like trying to swallow his problems too, but he shook his head trying to focus.

Ekya straightened up and looked Keith in the eyes. 

‘No, I never used it on you.’ His face completely serious now. ‘I won’t lie though… there were times where I considered it… like when you were having that period of nightmares… but I never did.’

Keith nodded, relieved that at least that part of his life had not been about mind control and shit.

‘Do you believe me?’ 

Keith saw the fear in his eyes and gave him a comforting smile trying to ease the mood, there was no reason for making him feel any shittier about this. He was at least going to do that.

‘Yes.’

Ekya smiled back, clearly relieved with the answer.

The conversation ended there as none of them had anything else to add, also Keith just wanted to not think about anything for a bit. So they both finished loading the ship in silence.

__

 

Later on, Shiro called them to the control room for the pre-departure meeting. The mission wasn’t exactly difficult but they could never be too careful. Also, the team hadn’t worked with another party for a long time, so Shiro wanted to keep everything in order and under control. 

Keith arrived alongside Ekya and waited for everyone else to arrive. 

Everyone except for Lance.

Keith tried to convince himself to stop worrying about Lance, he had more important things to focus on at the moment, but the heaviness in his chest wasn’t going anywhere. It was different than guilt, different than regret even, but Keith brushed it aside and ignored it. It wasn’t the time.

‘Alright team, we have arrived and already scanned planet _Xeglx_. Everything seems in order but still, we don’t know what it’s going to be like once you two land.’ Shiro said.

‘The planet is surrounded by asteroids, but not like an asteroid field… It is _completely_ surrounded by asteroids. So we will not be able to stay as close as we had planned, but still, we’ll be ready in our lions in case anything happens.’ Pidge informed.

‘Exactly, so we need you two to be extra careful.’ Shiro looked at Keith mostly. ‘We know the ideal is to pass unnoticed, but we also know that the ideal is not what we often encounter in these situations, so if it gets hot, we’ll come to your aid.’ 

Keith was listening very carefully. This was his first dangerous mission since he came back and he really didn’t want to fail. 

‘Please bear in mind that we do not have a map of the city you are visiting, so like Shiro said just be careful.’ Hunk added while showing the hologram of the planet. ‘Pidge and I put an invisibility cloaking device on your ship, so you’ll be able to land unnoticed.’

‘Do you guys have everything you need?’ Allura asked.

‘We are set to go.’ Ekya nodded, and with nothing more to say, Shiro ended the meeting, Keith, and Ekya silently making their way to the hangar. 

While walking, Keith was examining the hologram map on his forearm. As Hunk said the map didn’t have any routes of the city streets, but it did show where people lived via thermal radar, and they needed to avoid those areas when landing. He was so focused on the map he didn’t hear Ekya talk until he tapped his shoulder and called his name. 

‘Sorry, what?’ Keith lifted his head, looking at Ekya.

‘I said, I’ll wait for you inside the ship.’ He repeated and walked past.

‘What? Why?’ Keith followed Ekya with his eyes and just then noticed.

Lance was waiting outside the ship sitting on a few boxes, fully dressed with his paladin armor, holding his helmet on his hands.

Keith was completely taken aback for the first few seconds, however, anger started running through his blood again. This time, though, it had less to do with the fight they had and more with Lance suddenly appearing after not showing any sign of life for days.

‘What are you doing here?’ He barked, coming to face him.

‘Chill.’ Lance said, putting his hands up in defense. Keith stared at him for a moment, but Lance poker face wasn’t giving anything away.

Lance sighed. ‘Look, it doesn’t really matter who you trust as long as you have good reasons to do so…’ He said, avoiding eye contact. ‘And I’m guessing you do have good reasons… I mean there must be- there is a lot of history between you two that I don’t know…’ 

And Keith could swear there was a bitter lingering tone on his voice that Lance tried to camouflage at all cost.

‘And I don’t really need to know…’ He continued. ‘I trust _you_ , that’s all I need… and I did say… I’ll follow you… didn’t I?’ 

Keith froze still. A heavyweight sat on his chest accompanying a new knot on his throat that could definitely not be swallowed away. 

‘Besides, I have the feeling you’ll need a long range weapon.’ Lance shrugged and got on the ship, not really waiting for Keith to answer. 

Keith stood there, feeling overwhelmed. He could feel his heart clenching and it _hurt_. He didn’t even have time to be relieved to finally see Lance and knowing that he didn’t leave, but was immediately thrown in this bottomless hole of regret. But there was nothing to do now, all the pieces were already thrown, making a mess of the situation. And Keith couldn’t help to be mad at Lance for being the better person, for not being furious with him as he had been with Lance. And he felt ice running through his veins.

Keith got on the ship and made his way in. Ekya was already sitting in the co-pilot seat waiting for him, Lance, on the other hand, was inspecting the inside of the ship in such a calm and curious way, almost like nothing had happened. Maybe that how he should act too, forget anything happened and just move on, but he couldn’t let go that easily, not when his chest was still burning with so many emotions. 

‘If you are coming with us you should’ve at least gone to the meeting Shiro called.’ Keith bickered and sat on the pilot seat.

‘I talked to him before that and he was okay with it.’ Lance commented, sitting on one of the cargo seats.

‘So he knew?’ Keith fastened his belt violently and checked if everything was ready to take off, pressing the buttons of the control panel so hard Ekya winced, fearing for his ship, but not saying anything about it. 

Keith took off roughly and fast.

‘Keith…’ Ekya cautioned.

‘Wait-What are you-What is he doing? Why is Keith flying the ship?’ The ship made a sharp turn and Lance fastened his seatbelt in less than a heartbeat.

‘He is a better pilot than I am.’ Ekya answered.

‘ _Oh god…_ ’ Lance said under his breath, grabbing his seat with both hands. 

 

Keith flew through the asteroids very boldly and very fast, but without a problem, Ekya and Lance made no comment about the way Keith was piloting. In fact, they didn’t say anything at all during the whole trip. 

 

The landing was harsh but safe. 

 

Xeglx had a similar landscape than Threnya, even the market shared its similarity, although it was more like a town than a city and it looked like it had been through hell. Most houses were burned to the ground, and the ones that weren’t burned were completely destroyed. It was like a hurricane and a volcano visited the town at the same time. 

There was a part of the town that was already reconstructed though. The streets on that area were full of its inhabitants trying to take custom of their new life, but there were still some of them cleaning the ruins on the other side, probably to rebuild the rest of the town after they finished the task.

'What's our plan?' Keith asked Ekya.

‘Let’s go over there first,’ Ekya pointed to the far end of the town. ‘I’m gonna ask around. You two keep quiet and stay alert.’ 

Keith nodded and Lance followed. Ekya had already told them the rules they had to follow for the mission, and Keith already knew them but for Lance, it was a first. 

They walked through the ruins of the town. People slowly staring at them, and Ekya paid no mind, but Keith and Lance, following just a few feet away, noticed the uneasy atmosphere. Some people that were working nearby stopped whatever they were doing and left the area, scare enough to not even dare to look at them. Ekya stopped and asked a few people who didn’t get the chance to leave. They stared at him fearfully.

‘What do you think happened?’ Lance asked while they were waiting for Ekya.

‘I don’t know…’ Keith observed around. The people began whispering between them, avoiding the paladin’s gaze on them, some were even taking the children away from there with hurry like something was going to happen. Keith tensed up, a bit uncomfortable with their behavior, but before he could comment on it Ekya signaled them to keep going. 

They walked to the end of the town that was already rebuilt and went inside a shabby looking store. Inside it was pretty much empty, there were only a few goods on the display and they looked expired. It gave the appearance that it has been out of businesses for some time now, even if it didn’t look physically affected like the rest of the town. 

Behind the counter, the owner was sitting on a chair with a fan on each of his eight arms. He had four antennas coming from the top of his head moving in different directions.

'Water bottle is three Birrs or whatever you have to trade.' He grunted, not even looking at them. 

'I'll take one.' Ekya said putting some coins on the counter. He opened the bottle and drank some water. It tasted like dirt.

'Anything else?' the owner asked. 

'Uh, yes. I’ve been informed that I could find Sakha here. I need to talk to her.' The owner lifted his eyes slowly and stared with wide eyes. He stood up, he was at least two feet taller than Ekya. 

'Look, we don’t want any trouble. We’ve been through a lot, so please just leave.’ He begged, holding his hands up in defense.

Lance shifted uncomfortably behind Ekya, and Keith put his hand on his Bayard, ready for anything that could happen. 

Ekya lifted his hands up imitating the owner. ‘I think you got us mistaken, we only want to talk to her.’ 

‘Yeah, the same thing said the others and look at us now.’ The owner leaned over the counter and stared at Keith, his eyes scanning him and his body tensing as he frowned at the paladin. Ekya took advantage of the situation, leaning closer and putting a hand on his shoulder. 

‘Please, just a few minutes. I can’t leave without talking to her. It’s _very_ important.’ 

The owner changed his attitude almost immediately, he wasn’t as defensive anymore and he looked a bit more relaxed overall.

‘Okay… but only one of you is allowed.’ Ekya nodded and the owner headed to the back of the store, signaling him to follow. 

‘Wait outside, it’ll only take a few minutes.’ Ekya said before disappearing through the back door. 

 

Lance and Keith exited the store and stood outside keeping guard. There were a lot more people gathered now, curious about what was happening, but clearly frightened. 

‘That guy gave me the chills.’ Lance commented shivering, but Keith wasn’t really paying attention. There was something about this town that felt oddly familiar to Keith, and he had this weird uneasy feeling going that was slowly freezing his limbs, as he tried to remember.

The whispering turned louder and louder, and everyone was staring at Keith. 

‘Keith?’ Lance hesitated, but Keith didn’t answer, he was looking around trying to find something that could explain what was happening.

‘Okay, this is… weird…’ Lance took a few steps toward the crowd. ‘Uh… hello everybody… we are the paladins of Voltron… or some of them.’ 

The whispering quieted down for a few seconds before coming back louder than ever. 

‘We are here on an investigation and… uhh…’ But Lance didn’t know how to continue. He tried to get closer to the people but they backed down immediately, threatened by Lance’s advance. 

‘Uh… Keith… I think… I think I’m gonna go get Ekya, okay?’ He looked at Keith and he nodded, blankly staring at the crowd. ‘I’ll be back in seconds.’ 

The moment Lance disappeared inside the store people started yelling at Keith angrily, and he felt his blood going cold inside him. Something was terribly wrong. The people were slowly coming closer, the look on their faces angry, and scared. Keith didn’t notice when he started walking backward, trying to put more distance between him and the crowd. 

From behind the people a big, corpulent alien holding an axe, came and took the lead of the group. The rest followed his lead and took whatever they had in hand and wielded it as a weapon. 

‘You!’ He pointed with his axe. 

Keith stopped. 

‘How dare you come back here?’ The guy coming closer and closer. ‘How dare you? You destroy our town, rob our people, kill our loved ones, and dare to come back?’ 

Keith opened his mouth, but not a word came out. 

‘Answer me!’ He demanded.

Keith stared wide opened at the guy, feeling as his chest clenched and his stomach felt heavy. Dizziness invaded his mind and body and he could feel his body heavier than ever. He turned his face to the shop Lance just went inside, but there was no sign of him or Ekya. He wanted to call for them, but his mouth was so dry he couldn’t even move his tongue. His chest going up and down fast and painfully like he had rocks on top, but as much as air was coming in and out of his lungs he felt like he was being asphyxiated. Keith froze, his body going completely numb on every sensation and he couldn’t move nor talk. All he could feel was his mind running in panic and fear. He wanted to deny everything but somehow he _knew_ they were telling the truth, somehow he knew he had been there before, and he knew the heavy guilt he felt at the bottom of his stomach was not there out of nowhere. 

He looked around once again and he could see the people moving their mouths but he couldn’t hear them, all the noise was muffled. And deep underwater everything was stone cold and running so slow in front of his eyes, he could almost see himself out of his body. 

The leader lifted his axe.

Unconsciously Keith reached for his necklace, but it was not there. He didn’t move.

A scream came from his side, a familiar voice.

‘ _KEITH! KEITH!!_ ’ Lance screamed. There was a gunshot and the leader's axe flew away just before it touched Keith’s neck. The silence fell heavy on everyone, and Keith finally reacted and moved. Lance grabbed his arm, taking him away from the crowd, and pointing his Bayard at the enemy.

‘Stay back!’ He threatened them, keeping Keith behind him. Lance was thinking as fast as he could but there was no way they could get away fighting with Keith in that state, luckily Ekya came running a few seconds later, standing in front of the two paladins.

‘If you know who I am, you’ll put your weapons down.’ He was also pointing his gun at them. A few people from the crowd backed down and let go of their weapons, but most of them kept their ground, a bit more insecure about the situation now. 

‘We do not want to fight you.’ He continued. ‘We are going to leave now and you are not going to follow us, in fact, you are not going to do anything if you know what’s good for you!’

It was an empty threat but still worked. They left, no one going after them. 

Once they reached the ship Ekya took the controls and took off, leaving the planet behind as fast as they could. 

 

___________

 

_Keith? Keith!_

_I’m here. I’m here._

_Just hold on._

 

___________

 

Keith didn’t really remember how he ended up laying on his bed, or how many hours had passed since the mission. His arm felt completely numb under his body, so he shifted to his back to gain sensation again. His whole body was aching, probably from the tension earlier.

His mind was extremely quiet, and that was very unusual these days. He was drained but he felt calm, so he closed his eyes and breathed mindfully. It was one of those moments that one knows are not going to last very long, but that makes you appreciate them even more. So he focused only on his breathing, and it felt good. His body getting rid of the tension and relaxing as much as he could. However, one of his hands ached a lot more than the rest of his body, like if he had been holding on to something.

The moment was over when he felt thoughts building up in one of the corners of his mind. 

Keith gathered his energy and sat up on the bed, moving very slowly. At that moment the door opened and Pidge came in.

‘Good, you are awake. Ekya and Lance just came back.’ She said with urgency. ‘We are waiting for you.’

‘What happened?’ Keith asked trying to get his mind to work again.

‘You passed out Keith… Ekya and Lance came back from Xeglx, left you and took off again.’ She explained

‘Oh…’ 

Pidge sat down on the edge of the bed beside Keith. ‘You wanna talk about it?’ 

‘Not really…’ Keith sighed. ‘Thank you though.’

‘If you need anything, I’m here for you.’ She smiled.

‘Thanks Pidge, I appreciate it.’ Keith pointed to the door. ‘Let’s go.’ 

 

______

 

When Keith and Pidge arrived at the control room, Ekya was talking to the rest of the team. He looked tired but in a good mood in general. Lance was there too, but he was quietly sitting on his paladin seat, listening to what Ekya was saying. Pidge was right, they had just come back from the mission and were still wearing their armors. 

‘How are you feeling?’ Ekya asked, coming closer to check on him.

‘I’m… feeling better… thanks.’ 

‘Good. We have valuable information to share with you.’

Keith glanced at Lance, he looked more than exhausted, a little bit angry even. His brows slightly furrowed and his mouth set in a hard line, he was staring mindlessly at Ekya, not even noticing Keith on the room.

‘Is it good news or bad news?’ Hunk asked.

‘Good news.’ Ekya assured. ‘We know the location of the Awkan’s next attack.’

‘Attack?’ Keith turned abruptly lo took at him.

‘Yes, apparently they had been going back to the places they worked with before. They destroy the place and kill the people that worked for them.’

‘Is that what happened to Xeglx?’ Shiro asked.

‘Yes.’

Keith sat on his seat. If the Awkan were attacking old planets they visited, that meant that he had most probably visited Xeglx with them, and that meant that whatever happened there was his fault too.

‘Keith?’ 

‘What? Sorry’ He tried to focus.

‘I just asked you if you remember planet Lyetis.’ 

Keith shook his head. ‘Not by name at least.’

‘Yes, of course… that’s their next target and they’re going to be there during the next few days.’

‘So what’s our plan?’ Pidge asked.

‘A few of my men are close by from Lyetis. I’m going to send them there to guard the city. They can tell us if anything weird or suspicious is going on.’ 

‘Aren’t they going to get caught?’ Hunk hesitated.

‘No, they’ve been there before. They will go unnoticed.’ Ekya assured. ‘I shall meet you in Lyetis moon in two days.’ 

‘Wait, you are leaving?’ Keith inquired.

‘We still don’t know much about the Awkan… It’s unwise to attack them knowing this little, so I’m going to try and pull a few contacts and see if I can find anything on them and their powers.’ 

‘Should one of us go with you?’ Lance got up, ready to go.

‘No, Lance, you should all rest. Be ready, when I get back we’ll make the final plan.’

Lance nodded and finally excused himself, leaving the control room.

Shiro and Allura kept talking to Ekya. Keith wanted to leave too, but he thought it would be a bit rude to just leave, even if he wasn’t paying that much attention to the conversation now. After all, they were all there because of him. Luckily the meeting was over only a few minutes later, and Keith excused himself. 

He said goodbye to Ekya and wished him luck. Pidge and Hunk had opened a new communication channel with Ekya’s ship, so in case anybody wanted to communicate with him, it would be open, same if he wanted to talk to the paladins. Ekya told them he would be in touch in the next hours and days, to update them on anything that happened. 

 

_________

 

Keith caught up with Lance just outside his room. 

 

‘Lance!’ Keith called, running towards him. 

Lance had already opened the door to his bedroom but didn’t go in. He looked at Keith but didn’t say anything either, as he was waiting for Keith to start, but Keith just stared at him. Lance looked tired as fuck, it had been a long time since seeing him like this, years actually; he even had a bit dark under his eyes. And saying that Keith felt a bit guilty about that was an understatement. 

‘Lance, I uh…’ And Keith didn’t know if he was waiting for Lance to interrupt him and say something, or just waiting to come up with something good to say himself.

The bedroom door closed, and Lance glanced at it. 

‘I want to apologize...’ Keith blurted before Lance regretted letting him talk. He looked at Lance in the eyes. ‘I want to apologize for what I said. For everything.’ His voice determined now. ‘I didn’t mean to say what I said, and I know that is no excuse, I know I hurt you…’ Keith was completely still, not daring to move even a bit. ‘I’m sorry… Can you forgive-’

‘I already forgave you, Keith.’ Lance interrupted. ‘I know you didn’t mean them… and I am sorry too.’ 

‘You don’t have to say it.’

‘Yes, I do. You are under a lot of stress, I’m sorry I pushed the matter. I was just… worried…’ 

‘I know, and I forgive you too.’ 

Lance gave him a tender and tired smile. 

‘So, we good now?’ He said more lightly.

‘Yeah.’ Keith smiled back. 

‘Wanna shake on it?’ He teased while extending his hand, but Keith took it and they shook on it.

‘You are ridiculous sometimes.’

‘Yeah, I know.’ Lance said looking into the distance, proud of himself. 

Keith shook his head. ‘… I’m gonna go, I’ll see you tomorrow.’ He walked past towards his own bedroom.

‘Keith, wait!’ 

Keith turned around.

‘Uhh…’ Lance scratched his neck. ‘Maybe you want to… hang out for a while?’ He hesitated as he opened the door again.

Keith nodded.

Lance silently entered his room and Keith followed, closing the door behind him. 

Keith sat on the edge of the bed while Lance went directly to the closet, picking up some clothes and heading to the bathroom. 

‘I’ll just take a minute.’ 

Keith sighed deeply, laying on the bed on top of the covers and closing his eyes. He was drained but was glad how things went with Lance, it was relieving to finally go back to something somewhat normal. He still felt a weird weight on his chest though. The incident on Xeglx had been _something_ , and Keith didn’t know what he was supposed to do. It overwhelmed him to a pretty high level, and on top of that, Keith’s mind couldn’t stop thinking about everything that could go wrong, not only on the next mission but with their overall issue with the Awkan. There were many scenarios where it could all end up very badly. 

He could feel his muscles tensing in reaction, and then something over him. Literally.

Keith jumped to awareness and found Lance covering him with a blanket. He was wearing his blue paladin pajamas, that somehow he still had. 

‘Sorry,’ He finished covering Keith ‘didn’t mean to wake you up.’ 

‘I wasn’t asleep.’ 

‘Oh… are you still having trouble with that?’ Lance hopped on the bed and laid beside Keith. 

‘I guess… a bit.’ He sounded troubled, and Lance noticed.

‘Are you okay?’ He asked looking at Keith.

‘…No.’

‘Wow… and I thought I was going to need a bit more persuasion to get answers out of you.’ Lance blurted lightly, but Keith didn’t react. 

‘So, What’s up?’ 

Keith opened his mouth and closed it again, not saying anything. Lance frowned.

‘Okay then…’ Lance said while sitting up and turning to face Keith. He crossed his legs and moved his hands like holding an invisible pen and paper. ‘Let’s start with how are you feeling.’ Lance says imitating a therapist.

‘Are you serious?’ Keith glared at him. 

‘You have to acknowledge your feelings, Keith.’ He pointed at Keith with his invisible pen. 

Keith groaned, but he knew Lance was right. 

‘I’m just tired, Lance…’ He sighed after a while. Lance opened his mouth to protest but Keith cut him off.

‘I’m tired of pretending…’ He sounded angry and defeated at the same time, and it was so strange to hear him like that, so out of place. ‘I don’t know what’s going on. I don’t know how to explain it. I’m not even sure what it is!’ He fumed ‘But it gets me _every single time_ , and I thought… I thought if I ignored it, it would eventually go away but-’

‘Dude, when had that ever worked?’ Lance raised an eyebrow at him.

‘It did for a while… after Voltron…’ He said in a low voice. ‘But now… I just can’t seem to shake it off…’ And he was calmer now. He was trying to analyze and put everything down with logic. ‘I guess it’s some kind of PTSD or something…’ 

‘Is that what happened on _Xeglx?_ ’ Lance asked, and Keith immediately diverted his gaze, closing his eyes, and furrowing his brows with the motion.

‘Keith you- I… you had me worried there. You didn’t even have your shield up.’ Lance said softly. 

‘ _I know._ ’ He said with exasperation. 

‘Hey, just take it easy, okay?... and maybe… you shouldn’t go on the next mission…’ Lance hesitated.

‘What?’ Keith opened his eyes and looked at Lance, his brows completely furrowed.

‘This is not a game, Keith…’ His tone serious and deep. ‘If I hadn’t been there on time-’ Lance clenched his hands. Keith lifted himself holding his weight with his arm, to be at the same level as Lance. ‘If you are not ready… If you don’t feel ready for this, you can stay in the castle…’ His voice was soft again. ‘We are not going to judge you if you choose to do that.’

Lance was not looking at him, but Keith was, and Lance could feel his gaze on him. 

‘You know I can’t do that.’ He laid back. ‘I can’t.’ He shook his head, closing his eyes again, and taking a few deep breaths to let go of his temper. He knew he shouldn’t get mad at Lance. 

‘Okay, just don’t worry about it.’ Lance rested a hand on Keith’s shoulder. ‘We’ll figure this one out… We always do. We’ll be fine.’ His tone reassuring. 

‘Yeah, we will.’ Keith sighed, completely calm now. 

‘Can you promise me something though?’

Keith looked at him questioningly. 

‘Just… promise me you’ll be careful…’ Lance blurted without looking at Keith, but it was almost a whisper.

‘I am careful.’

Lance rolled his eyes and locked his eyes with Keith.

‘Promise you’ll be _extra_ careful then.’

Keith stared at Lance for a few seconds and there was something in his eyes that wasn’t there before, and even now it was deliberately trying to be hidden. But it made his chest feel so warm, and he knew he couldn’t ignore Lance’s request.

‘I promise.’ 

Lance nodded and laid down again and got under the covers. ‘Come on.’ He yawned and gestured Keith to do the same ‘Shoes off.’ 

Keith did as he was told, taking off his shoes and his jacket too. He adjusted his t-shirt and noticed he didn’t have his necklace on, so without saying a word he left the room fast.

‘Okay?’ Lance sat up on the bed staring at the open door.

Keith came back a few seconds later, and Lance noticed how he was adjusting the necklace on his neck. 

‘Did you… take it off?’ He accused, squinting his eyes at him.

‘What? No, of course not.’ 

‘Shame on you Keith Kogane.’ Lance said, faking being truly offended and crossing his arms over his chest, staring at the ceiling. Lance felt Keith’s weight on the mattress when he laid down beside him. 

‘Why did you take it off?’ Lance whispered without looking at Keith.

‘I… I was mad at you Lance.’

‘Oh…’ 

‘It was a bad decision though.’

‘Of course it was, but what exactly do you mean?’ Lance turned to look at him.

‘…’

‘Keith?’ 

‘I guess…’ He sighed heavily. ‘It’s weird… it calms me down…’

‘How?’ Lance rolled to his side, facing Keith completely.

‘I don’t know.’ Keith looked at Lance from the corner of his eye.

‘ _Keith._ ’ He yawned.

‘No, I really don’t know… but I guess… I guess is the steady rhythm.’ 

‘Why?’ 

‘Lance.’ Keith looked at him, unamused. ‘I’m being honest here, I seriously don’t know.’

‘Well…’ Lance shrugged. ‘I’m glad it helps you.’

Keith turned to look at him, ready to say something else, but Lance had his eyes closed. 

‘You should get some sleep… you look like shit. No offense.’ Keith commented lightheartedly.

‘Jeez, thanks.’ Lance opened his eyes to glare at Keith. ‘… these past few days… It’s been too much.’ He sighed.

‘I know.’

‘Also, I think I got used to waking up at ten and having pretty easy and relaxing days.’ Lance tried to laugh but he just yawned again, remembering how tired he really was. 

‘The hard-working life, uh?’ 

‘You know how it is.’ Lance smiled but had already closed his eyes. ‘You should get some rest too…’

The room fell silent and Lance’s soft and steady breathing pattern indicated he had already fallen asleep. Keith closed his eyes too, feeling the clock ticking against his skin. He knew he needed to go back to his room, and he even considered it for a minute but before he could do anything about it his mind shut off and he fell asleep too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!


	10. When the lights go out

When Keith woke up he couldn’t quite place where he was. His eyesight was too blurry and his eyelids stick together. He was in the castle, yes, and he was in _a_ bedroom laying on _a_ bed, that too, but it sure didn’t smell like _his_ bed, and as weird as that sounds, one tends to notice when your bed smells different. It was definitely something he should investigate but, he had slept all night without waking up, not even once, and that was so much more than he had gotten in the past few days. He might as well be on a Galra ship, he didn’t care, he felt rested.

With his eyes closed again he stretched his stiff muscles. If it was an option he would definitely continue on sleeping, but he had the impression that it was already late for paladin standards, especially because there were in the middle of a complicated matter, but that didn’t really stop him from rolling over to the other side of the bed. 

He just needed five more minutes. 

Keith grabbed the pillow on that side of the bed and adjusted it to his liking, which was with one of his arms completely under the pillow, and his head on top of it, just where his bicep was. He took a deep breath, the scent filling his lungs, and it was good, he liked it. It was a strange smell but so familiar at the same time, and he couldn’t quite place the reason, but again it didn’t really matter. Keith rubbed his face against the pillow and sank a little more in it.

He took another more than intentional, and more than long, deep breath… and that was when he realized.

‘ _Shit!_ ’ Keith gasped loudly, sitting up faster than the speed of light, and with wide, panic eyes he scanned the bed and then the room. 

That was Lance’s room, he was _definitely_ in Lance’s room. He had fallen asleep and stayed all night in _Lance’s room_. There were no signs of Lance though.

Keith sighed heavily and laid back on the bed with a muffled thud. Everything made sense now, that was definitely Lance’s cologne the one he smelt on the pillow. He wasn’t complaining though, the truth was that it did, in fact, smell amazing. 

But who carries cologne to space anyway? 

Keith chuckled. It reminded him of that one time Lance bought what he thought was a bottle of shampoo on a planet they visited, but it turned out to be some kind of insect pheromones, and Lance had to stay inside the Castle, locked up, while everyone else was enjoying the outsides. 

Keith closed his eyes and once again took a deep breath, inhaling the strong scent and letting it invade all his senses. A shiver ran down his spine giving him goosebumps, like electricity striking water, and from one second to another his skin felt blazing hot, and…

He opened his eyes abruptly. He needed to get out of there right now. 

Completely ignoring what just happened, it was probably time to catch up with the rest of his friends, he already knew his day had started late. He wondered why didn’t anyone wake him up, but it didn’t really matter, he got to sleep a lot and he was actually in a pretty good mood.

With his hair still damp from taking a shower, he went to the kitchen and was very surprised to hear laughter coming from it. He opened the door and found the entire team having a late lunch, and just having a good time. 

‘Oh, look at you! Good afternoon sleeping beauty. We thought you died in your sleep.’ Pidge joked. 

‘Yeah, I guess I overslept a little.’ Keith scratched the back of his neck, feeling a little embarrassed.

‘How come you slept so much? Did someone drug you?’ 

‘What-No-I…’ Keith cleared his throat. ‘I…’

‘Well it doesn’t matter, you actually look recovered today.’ Pidge dropped the question.

‘I am.’ Keith agreed, sitting next to her. He glanced quickly at Lance but he was busy eating his food with his eyes glued to the plate.

‘Well, I’m glad.’ Hunk added bringing him a plate with food. ‘Here, we saved you some lunch. Today the menu was my special spicy burrito.’ 

‘Thanks Hunk.’ Keith beamed and started eating. 

‘So, what’s for today after we meet Matt?’ Shiro asked from the other side of the table. 

Keith raised his eyes from his burrito not really following the conversation. 

‘It’s really quite simple…’ Hunk responded. Keith furrowed his eyebrows, his brain trying to make the connection with no success. ‘The plan is, we meet Matt on Ignis Base and celebrate at a bar there.’ 

‘Yes! It’s going to be great. I’m finally able to drink with my brother!’ Pidge eyes sparkled with excitement. 

‘Uh… what are we celebrating?’ Keith asked, looking at his friends. 

‘Today is-’ 

‘It’s my birthday you dumb-dumb.’ Pidge interrupted Hunk.

Keith swallowed the last of his food hard. ‘ _Oh shit._ ’

‘Keith…’ Shiro began.

‘I’m so sorry Pidge… I completely… forgot.’ He said dragging one of his hands down his face.

‘Don’t sweat it, Keith. You probably don’t even know what year it is.’ Pidge shrugged. ‘The important thing is that after _years_ , you are finally here to celebrate it with me.’ She smiled softly at him.

‘It’s good to be back.’ Keith returned the smile. ‘Happy birthday Pidge.’ 

‘Thank you, Keith.’ 

‘But I do know what year it is.’ 

‘Oh really? What year?’ 

‘It’s-’ But before Keith could actually finish that sentence the communication signal sounded off. 

‘That’s got to be our favorite blue alien.’ Coran exclaimed, standing up and going to the control room. The rest of the team following behind.

‘ _He-llo, eve-ryone._ ’ Ekya appeared on the main screen but cut off immediately, the signal was not coming through. Coran and Pidge jumped to the controls right away, trying to figure out what was wrong. The rest of the team waited for results, glaring worriedly at the screen. 

Keith stared at the main screen harder with a bad feeling in his gut.

‘Do you think he is in trouble?’ Allura asked like she just read Keith’s mind.

‘No, it’s just the distance. We didn’t get that much time to test the channel before Ekya left, also his ship is a bit different from what we’ve always worked with.’ Hunk explained. 

‘ _Hello?_ ’ Ekya tried again.

‘I’m sorry but I’m afraid we only have audio for now.’ 

‘ _That’s fine Pidge, don’t worry. This is gonna be brief._ ’ Ekya’s voice resonated in the room. ‘ _The interference here is a pain in the ass… I have new information, is everyone present?_ ’

‘Yes, we are all here.’ Shiro confirmed.

‘ _Good. So, apparently, the attack on Lyetis is going to be a small one._ ’ 

‘How do you know?’ Keith inquired. 

‘ _My men on Lyetis sent me a status report. They should arrive with a small fleet. Which is good for us, but we still need to be cautious… I’m on my way to get blueprints for some of their weapons and also an updated map on the planet. That’s it for now, I’ll see you tomorrow._ ’

‘Thank you Ekya, we’ll meet you there.’ Shiro concluded and the transmission ended. 

‘So, what do we do now?’ Hunk asked.

‘Well, we have a one hour until we get to JFX9.’ Coran showed the map on the main screen.

‘We should all try to relax and have fun today.’ Allura chirped.

‘Yeah, Allura is right.’ Pidge agreed. ‘Today we are celebrating, so let’s have some fun!’ 

The team left the control room and each of them went to do their own. The update had been positive, but Keith felt a bit uneasy, as they still didn’t know what they were going to deal with once on Lyetis. And no, Keith was usually not one to overthink missions, but after regaining part of his memories, his mind was filled with scenarios he didn’t know for sure were real, so overthinking was the new pastime for his anxious state of mind. Also, after what happened on Xeglx there was almost no use to pretend he was completely fine, his friends totally knew he was knees deep in distress, to say the least.

Keith was going back to his room when he heard Lance calling for him.

‘Hey…’ He turned to look at the boy running towards him. 

‘I was thinking… maybe we should go spar.’ He suggested.

Keith looked at him confused. ‘Right now?’ 

‘It may help you, you know… relax a bit. Or were you going to do something else?’ 

‘Oh… uh no, no… sure. Sounds like a good idea.’ 

‘Awesome. Let’s go!’ Lance beamed.

Keith felt a little awkward because neither of them had mentioned that Keith slept with Lance in his bed last night, but maybe it just wasn’t a big deal, and Keith was just panicking out of thin air. Still, it was a bit uncomfortable to look at Lance in the eyes when just this morning Keith was totally drowning himself in Lance’s cologne while lying on his bed. Not that Lance had to know or anything.

‘I really want to try my broadsword on you.’ Lance motioned wielding a sword with his hands. 

‘Lance, this is not the first time we spar together.’ 

‘Yes, I know, but I’ve never used my sword with you before.’ 

‘I’m pretty sure you have.’

‘Have not. I would definitely remember that.’ 

‘…’

‘Either way, I’m gonna crush you.’ He smirked.

‘Oh yeah? We’ll see about that.’ Keith couldn’t help the excitement. It had been a long time since training with Lance, and even if the idea was to prepare him for their mission on Lyetis, he was thrilled, and a bit overconfident about all this. He knew Lance was good, he’d seen him in action, but he also knew Lance’s strength was not the sword. 

They entered the training deck and without further due, they positioned themselves in the middle of it with some distance between them. Keith could feel the adrenaline running through his body, and it was definitely an overreaction because this was just a sparring session, but Lance always knew how to push his buttons. This was absolutely a competition. 

Keith tied his hair in a ponytail and drew his Bayard, which immediately formed his double-edged sword. Lance, on the other side, drew his Bayard slowly, and it very elegantly transformed into his Altean broadsword. Keith has never seen it transform like that, Lance was definitely showing off. 

He positioned himself with a right stance and grabbed his sword with his right hand, just waiting for Lance. 

‘Eager much?’ Lance smirked and tighten the grip on his sword.

‘To completely destroy your ass? Sure.’ Keith shrugged.

‘As if!’

Keith didn’t wait any longer and advanced on Lance. He thrust his sword directly at his chest, but Lance moved gracefully making Keith pass by him, while he locked his offensive on the line of attack Keith just opened, his back. Making the move, Lance engaged but Keith was just as fast and deflected the attack just in time, the edges of their swords clashing loudly. 

‘Heh.’ Keith smirked. 

They both disengaged their weapons, going back to guard positions but moving in a circle, locking their eyes on each other. Keith slowly lifted his guard just enough to leave his legs more obviously exposed, and Lance felt for it, the invitation was too great to miss. He attacked fast and swiftly, making Keith jump in avoidance. But that was the plan. Keith swung downwards clashing his sword against Lance’s, making him briefly lose balance. Keith attacked frontally without hesitation. Lance managed to block every single blow but kept losing ground as Keith pushed him back with every attack. 

Panting loudly, Keith took a fraction of a second more to swing his sword and Lance took the chance to amend his stance, striking with his blade intensely, and effectively blocking Keith’s advance on him. 

‘Oh, look at you… trying your absolute hardest.’ Keith sassed, pushing with force. Keith knew he was being impatient and that it was making him sloppy, but he didn’t actually care.

‘What…’ Lance panted, pushing harder. ‘You thought you were the only one with skills? Think again.’ Lance pivoted and retreated his sword, taking advantage of Keith’s momentum and making him fall directly to the floor. 

Rolling to his back, Keith did not have time to stand up, or even get his shield up before Lance attacked again. 

Lance swung his sword clashing it against Keith’s, and disarming him along the way. 

‘Wha-’ Keith was silenced by Lance’s sword pointing directly at his chest. Keith looked for his sword but it had flown far away from his reach.

‘Wow, I didn’t think it was going to be this easy-’ 

Keith squinted his eyes at him, completely salty over the situation, and in a fast and gracefully movement, he rolled up his legs and kicked Lance’s broadsword, sending it next to where Keith’s was. 

‘Hey! That’s cheati-’ But Lance couldn’t even finish that sentence as Keith tangled his legs with his, making him trip and fall. 

Keith rolled over fast and straddle him hard so he couldn’t move. 

‘It’s not cheating.’ Keith disagreed, panting but with the smuggest smile on his face. ‘Is not like your enemy is going to stop when he disarms you.’ He nodded at Lance, making a point. 

‘Yeaah, but you are not my enemy.’ He squinted his eyes at him. ‘And that was totally cheating.’ He groaned, trying to release himself from Keith’s legs, but Keith was not giving in. 

Keith crossed his arms over his chest grinning with satisfaction. Lance covered his face with both of his hands groaning a little louder.

‘What? Too embarrassed to look at me now?’

‘Get off, you are like super heavy.’ The sound a little bit muffled by Lance’s hands.

‘I’m really not.’ Keith chuckled. ‘You are just too weak-’ And at that precise moment, Lance used his legs to reverse the situation. 

Keith with his eyes wide open was now laying on the floor with Lance straddling him. 

‘You were saying?’ Lance sassed, smugness all over his face now. 

Keith tried to move but Lance was holding his ground. 

Keith swallowed.

‘Keith…’ He sighed. ‘Admitting that I’m great with a sword is not going to hurt you… and while you are at it, you should totally admit you thought I didn’t have enough strength to overpower you… but honey, I don’t skip leg day.’ He smirked playfully, squeezing Keith’s torso a bit harder as proof of what he just said. 

Keith stared at Lance with the best blank expression he could manage, but he conceded that what Lance said was true, he never thought Lance to have this much strength in his lower body. He actually had never noticed how nice and toned Lance’s legs were, but he knew it was not the best moment to start doing it, considering the position they were in. 

He felt his face getting hot. 

‘Get off.’ he said dryly. 

‘Oh Keith, don’t be jealous of me and my _strong and super long legs._ ’ Lance relaxed his body and rested his weight completely on Keith’s lap. ‘They are my pride and joy.’ 

Keith swallowed hard this time, trying to make whatever he felt down his throat go away. 

‘You are right…’ He subtly cleared his throat. ‘You _are_ great with a sword… I definitely didn’t remember you were that quick.’ And Keith really meant it, but he also knew agreeing with Lance was the fastest way to get out of the situation.

‘Yes, and…?’ Lance gestured with his hands to keep going. 

‘And… you are pretty strong.’ He coughed. 

‘Good boy.’ Lance teased but finally released Keith, sitting beside him. ‘That was fun.’ 

‘Yeah.’ Keith smiled, a little more at ease now. 

‘Wanna go again?’ 

‘I think I’m good… thank you, Lance.’ He sat up untying his ponytail, hair sticking to his sweaty face. ‘I actually do feel a bit more relaxed.’

‘Any time.’ He smiled. ‘We should probably go take a shower.’ 

‘But I already showered today.’ Keith complained.

‘ _Dude. _’ Lance said flatly, looking at him with his judging face.__

__‘Just kidding.’_ _

__Lance shook his head and got up, helping Keith do the same._ _

__

__________ _

__

__As Pidge had already said, this year she was finally going to be able to drink alcohol with his brother. She was turning twenty-one, and as that was still the drinking age back on earth, the team was more than happy for her to finally be legal for drinking. Now they could finally hang out at a bar without it being a problem, not that any alien cared about earth drinking age, but still._ _

__

__Ignis Base had become the new central command for the rebels, and therefore Matt had decided to stay on it for a few years after the war ended. He became a commander, along with many of his friends, and they tended and managed the many bases and their missions._ _

__JFX9 was a solitary planet with a medium-size city that was settled around huge dunes of sand. It was actually chosen to be the main base because of those dunes, they gave pretty good cover for the many spaceships parked there. It was a measure for safety, even if there hadn’t been any attacks in years. You could never be too careful._ _

__Matt was already waiting for them in the hangars._ _

__‘Happy birthday Pidge!’ Matt hugged his sister tightly. ‘I can’t believe your turned twenty-one.’_ _

__‘I know!’ Pidge exclaimed. ‘Soon I’ll get old and boring like you.’ She teased._ _

__‘Talking about that… before going I need to tell you the rules of the city.’ He began. ‘They are quite simple… and logical.’_ _

__‘Alright Spock, shoot.’_ _

__Matt rolled his eyes but held three fingers up in front of the team._ _

__‘No disturbances, no littering and no walking alone at night.’ The team slowly nodded in acknowledgment. ‘Especially the last one. Is not really dangerous here, but at night some animals roam close to the city… Also, we have found lost pirates trying to rob people in a few occasions… so, yeah, got it?’_ _

__‘Matt, come on, yes, everyone got it. Can we just go? I want to see the city!’ Pidge asked, pushing his brother to start walking._ _

__‘What have you been up to, Matt?’ Shiro asked._ _

__‘Oh, you know…’ The team followed Matt across the hangar. ‘Checking on planets, here and there… We are actually quite busy with coalition stuff, helping rebuild and such. What about you guys? Must be excited to be together again.’_ _

__‘Well, actually we are chasing a group of guys that are messing up a few things.’ Hunk explained._ _

__‘Oh, is it bad? We haven’t heard anything. Do you need any help? I can get a few friends to help you guys out.’ Matt offered._ _

__‘Thank you, Matt.’ Allura said. ‘But we already have people helping us. We don’t want to disturb your work.’_ _

__‘Yeah, also Ekya said it’s going to be a small thing. We’ll be okay.’ Pidge added._ _

__Matt nodded and the topic of conversation changed._ _

__Before arriving at the base Keith had asked the team to not tell Matt or anyone for the matter. He was still coming to terms with what happened, but he also didn’t want to bother anyone else. The team agreed after knowing that _Lyetis_ was going to be a minor attack and considering that they already had Ekya’s men on the planet, and Voltron on their side, everything was set to go smoothly. _ _

__Matt gave them a tour around the base and then the city._ _

__Ignis base was just at the border of the hangar and it was just a plain, boring three-story building. The city, on the contrary, was bigger and was fully hidden by the huge dunes that surrounded it, and as they walked down the dunes it came completely into sight: Towering luxurious buildings were the first thing to notice, the next thing was its lifestyle. The multiculturality could be seen not only in the architectural designs but in all the different alien species walking alongside each other. And although it was not a big city it felt huge on the eye, every single corner was crowded with buildings, stores, houses, or just people. The city was more than _alive_. _ _

__As it was already getting dark, they could now see how every building was turning on their façade lights. They were all different neon colors and it gave the city a futuristic hyper-modern look._ _

__The group arrived at the bar. A single-story building that looked small from the outside, but like the city, once you walked inside it was a completely different scenario. The place was huge, its square bar was in the middle of the floor, with many, also square, tables close to the walls. The overall aesthetic of the place mimicked the neon lights outside. It was full of people talking, drinking, eating, and dancing, as there was also a dance floor, and it was absolutely the most popular bar on the planet._ _

__The group sat at the table Matt had reserved for the special occasion._ _

__‘I want to make a toast.’ Matt said, standing up, raising his glass of _Fire Beer_. ‘To the most awesome sister in the universe. May she always live surrounded by the people and things she loves.’ The group raised their glasses and drank up._ _

__

__And that’s how their night started._ _

__

__They had already ordered several rounds of drinks and food. Pidge was going easy though, not really being accustomed to drinking, she was mostly enjoying the company of her friends, not having seen them together like this in _years_. The whole group was having fun, and after a few hours, each one of them was on their own tune. _ _

__Shiro and Allura were apparently having a drinking contest, while Matt was being the judge. Allura was definitely drinking Shiro under the table, and Pidge was definitely encouraging them to keep going. It was fun, especially after Matt told them the alcohol they served on this planet was molecularly modified to not damage the body of the drinker. It didn’t even give you a hangover the next day. It was good for the body and for the soul._ _

__In the other group were Coran, Hunk, and Lance, led by the first one. They were having a dance off, and they even had an audience cheering for them. The turn was Coran against Hunk, Lance being the referee. Hunk was winning but Coran was not falling behind. The favorite of the crowd was Lance though, having won every time he stepped on the dance floor._ _

__Keith was quietly drinking on the table, sitting next to Shiro. He was enjoying watching everybody have fun, while he relaxed a little. It sure was nice to get his mind out of any intrusive thoughts, and the alcohol was helping a little too. He wasn’t competing with anybody on that matter, but he had have more than a few drinks already._ _

__Shiro and Matt had started to tell stories about their time in the Galaxy Garrison, and Allura was very invested in hearing them especially after the one where they got locked inside Iverson’s bedroom when they tried to retrieve some tech Matt had invented. Keith had already heard all these stories, but it was fun to watch Shiro remember them. That until from over the dance floor, the people were loud enough to get Keith’s attention._ _

__Lance was on fire throwing some moves, and the crowd was going _wild_. It was funny how such a tall boy could be so gracious with his body and movements. He was now moving his feet in a more hip-hop style, and it was hypnotizing. Every step was made with such little effort but so precise and smooth, he made it look like it was so easy to just step on the dance floor and look awesome, almost like anyone challenging him to a dance duel was going to be on equal ground. Keith knew better than that of course._ _

__He felt a nudge on his side and realized he had been staring at the dance floor for a while now, absolutely entranced. The drinking contest had already ended, with Allura as the indisputable reigning champion, and everyone had already left the table. Allura had gone to the bathroom, and Matt and Pidge actually went to check on the others._ _

__‘We are getting more food.’ A drunk Shiro explained the situation while pointing the hologram menu in the middle of the table. ‘Do you want something in particular?’_ _

__Keith wasn’t really hungry, he was actually a bit tired and also a bit drunk, so he decided it was time to leave._ _

__‘I’m going back to the castle.’ He announced. Drunk Shiro hugged him saying goodnight, and went back to examining the food on the menu._ _

__The moment Keith got up and walked out of the bar was when he really felt the alcohol in his body, and he was definitely more than a bit drunk now that he noticed. No big deal though, he could hold his alcohol more than okay. Outside it was chilly, but the cold air felt nice against Keith’s flushed cheeks._ _

__It was very late and the streets that had been full of people before were now empty. He really liked this planet, the inhabitants were nice, the food was good, and better yet, it was a very peaceful planet._ _

__Keith could now see the castle in the distance. He had gotten to the end of the city and to the start of the sand dunes._ _

__'Keith!'_ _

__Keith heard his name being called over the wind, making him turn around and lose balance on the sand._ _

__'You leaving?' Lance asked_ _

__'I kinda already left…'_ _

__'I mean you are leaving alone.' And there was an accusatory tone in the sentence._ _

__Keith looked down, hoping his cheeks would not turn red out of embarrassment. He completely forgot about what Matt said. But that shame only lasted a few seconds and he went back to his cheerful drunk self._ _

__'Whoops.’ He grinned, sheepish._ _

__Lance rolled his eyes and walked towards him, nudging Keith's shoulder with his._ _

__'Come on, it's getting late anyway.'_ _

__Keith didn't say anything and followed Lance._ _

__They both walked silently for a while. The sand under them was now a pale pink color due to the moonlight, and it contrasted beautifully with the dark sky, illuminating everything._ _

__Keith was walking only a few steps behind Lance, observing the boy. It always surprised Keith how they came to be such good friends by the end of their time being defenders of the universe, and it’d happened just so gradually and so, so easily. Keith couldn’t even remember how they fell into it, so smoothly, like it had always been there. Although he knew it hadn’t, especially in the beginning, now it just felt right, it somehow felt like home._ _

__A few clouds passed blocking the moonlight. It was a little bit colder than when he left the bar, and a chill breeze hit their faces that started to feel numb. Keith saw Lance shivering and putting his hands inside the pockets of his jacket, and at that precise drunken moment, Keith could not remember, or understand why after the war he never addressed his feelings for Lance. He should have just told Lance that he liked him then._ _

__But it had been a bit more complicated than that, hadn’t it?_ _

__The phrase “the end of war” had many different emotions attached to it. When you find yourself at war you don’t really think of the future, not Keith. Thinking of the future had always brought him more uneasiness than anything else, and being in such a hostile situation made him stay on guard respecting his emotions and expectations. The main thought about the war was just ending it, and his friends and family being alive by the end of it. Simpler said than done, but they had managed somehow._ _

__So when Keith found himself at the end of that war, he was a whirlwind of emotions and traumas that were completely neglected and buried under the war, and as much as you work on them, there are things that just don’t fit in your current circumstances._ _

__For Keith, liking Lance had been one of those things._ _

__He had his mom, and his new found family and everyone was taking a different path. Keith didn’t want to be the one to interfere with Lance’s earth life. They both wanted different things. That’s what he told himself. So, in the end, he chose to go back to space, where he felt most comfortable. Where he could deal with all his traumas and emotions in a different way._ _

__And now… now they were somehow back to being just Lance and Keith._ _

__Keith smiled to himself._ _

__Lance yawned, stretching his arms. ‘That was quite the birthday party.’ But there was no answer._ _

__‘You okay back there?’_ _

__‘How was it on earth?’ Keith asked, but it was almost a whisper._ _

__Lance turned to look at him but Keith was looking up front, his gaze was completely lost in the sand dunes._ _

__‘What do you mean?_ _

__‘How was it…?_ _

__‘Uhm…’_ _

__‘After I left… how was it after I left?’_ _

__‘Oh… well… I uh… I’ll tell you if you tell me about your adventures in space.’ He dared._ _

__Keith raised an eyebrow at Lance, skeptical over the deal._ _

__‘Okay.’ He said after a few seconds, and finally catching up with his pace._ _

__‘Alright! Well…’ Lance scratched the back of his head. ‘It uh… it was definitely lonelier than expected.’ He chuckled nervously._ _

__‘What-Why?’ He looked at Lance, who was totally avoiding his gaze._ _

__‘You all left at the same time, Keith.’_ _

__‘Oh… right.’_ _

__‘We went from seeing each other every single day to not even live in the same Galaxy! And it definitely felt lonely, even if we had our families and friends with us.’_ _

__‘Sorry.’ Keith pursed his lips in a fine line._ _

__‘Don’t be, it wasn’t your fault… Is not like we could have been living together for the rest of our lives- I mean we all have our things and- and families and stuff.’ Lance blurted._ _

__Keith laughed, but it there was a nostalgic tone in it._ _

__‘Don’t sweat it, Lance. I just wanted to know if you like your life on earth.’ He brushed off._ _

__‘… I do.’ Lance smiled._ _

__‘Well, I’m happy.’ Keith smiled back._ _

__‘Thanks.’_ _

__‘Mmhm.’_ _

__Keith was having a little bit more trouble walking in a straight line, the dunes didn’t help either, as he wasn’t used to walking on sand or anything similar. Lance on his side had no trouble whatsoever._ _

__‘Hey, Lance….’_ _

__‘Mm?’_ _

__‘Do you think maybe… all those like cryptid creatures back on earth are maybe aliens?’_ _

__Lance snorted loudly but frowned immediately after. ‘What?!’ He asked confused by the change of topic._ _

__‘You know… Bigfoot, Mothman, and such… What if- what if they were actually aliens stranded on earth?’_ _

__Lance exploded in laughter. He was grabbing his stomach trying not to fall on his knees._ _

__'OH MY GOD, Keith, are you drunk?' Lance asked._ _

__‘What? No, of course not.’ Keith denied but almost tripped with a small rock he didn't see. Lance held him by the arm before he could hit the sand._ _

__‘Jesus, Keith, you are very clumsy to be such a good fighter.’_ _

__Keith squinted his eyes at him, but Lance just kept laughing._ _

__‘It’s a very plausible theory though!’_ _

__‘Mmhm… and you are just assuming that those creatures are real?’_ _

__‘What- yeah, of course they are!’_ _

__Once again Lance exploded in laughter. Keith joined him not long after, completely infected by Lance’s laughter._ _

__'Is this the Keith Ekya warned me about?' Lance asked wiping a tear from his eyes and started walking again._ _

__'You talked with Ekya about me?'_ _

__‘Uhh….’_ _

__'What did he say?' He asked curiously._ _

__'... He said you are funny when you're drunk.' Lance commented, unsure of why he was telling Keith._ _

__Keith gasped dramatically. 'I'm always funny.... besides that's not even a warning.'_ _

__'... He also said you're adorable when you're drunk.' He chuckled._ _

__'What?!’ Keith exclaimed furiously. 'I’m not adorable, I’m like…’ He tried to think. ‘You know… tough and cool… and stuff.’_ _

__Lance snorted. ‘Sure you are, buddy.’_ _

__‘Ugh.’ Keith groaned in exasperation. ‘Let’s just talk about something else?’_ _

__'Okay, what do you want to talk about?' Lance stared at Keith._ _

__'I don't know, anything... I don't care.'_ _

__‘Do you have any more theories about earth creatures?’ He tried._ _

__Keith squinted his eyes at him and tried punching Lance in the arm but failed his aiming big time. Lance laughed again but this time it was a soft tender laugh, almost warming the cold night._ _

__‘Look at you…’_ _

__‘What?’ Keith frowned._ _

__‘I missed you, man.’ Lance blurted out._ _

__'Oh my god. Why are you so cheesy? Are _you drunk_?' Keith chuckled anxiously._ _

__'Hahaha. Nah, just had a couple of drinks… Also, I could totally outdrink you.' Lance pointed at him._ _

__Keith laughed so hard he had to stop walking._ _

__'That's a good one, Lance.' Keith said wiping a tear from his eye._ _

__'I could!'_ _

__'Yeah yeah, whatever.'_ _

__Keith started walking again, Lance followed a few steps behind._ _

__'It's true though...'_ _

__'What is?'_ _

__'I did miss you.' Lance said softly._ _

__Keith kept walking, not daring to look behind._ _

__'Yeah… I did too.' Keith had intended to say that just for himself but his tipsy state betrayed him._ _

__'Oh oh, what's that?’ Lance came closer. ‘AWWWW, you missed me too? You are so adorable, Keith.' He said pinching his cheek._ _

__'I take it back.' Keith slapped away Lance’s hand and tried to get away, but Lance had very long arms that stopped him._ _

__'No, no take backs!' Lance started to tickle Keith’s waist just to stop him from getting away, and it was actually working._ _

__In fact, Keith was _extremely_ ticklish. _ _

__'No... no, no! Stop it, stop-’ Keith laughed loudly. ‘Please!’ He begged, trying to breathe, but Lance had no mercy on him._ _

__‘How did I not know that you were ticklish??’ Lance exclaimed. ‘So many years lost.’ He lamented dramatically._ _

__Keith couldn’t make sounds anymore, he was completely out of air. In a desperate move, he threw himself on the sand, Lance falling with him, the movement making room for Keith to roll away from Lance._ _

__‘I hate you.’ Keith said between panting, covering his torso with his arms, shielding it from Lance._ _

__Lance laughed and after a few minutes they calmed down. Staring at the night sky with the pinkish moonlight they stayed there laying on the sand._ _

__‘It’s so pretty.’_ _

__‘Yeah.’_ _

__‘I missed space.’_ _

__‘Really?’ Keith looked at him._ _

__‘Yes… Did you ever miss Earth?’ Lance turned to look at Keith, the moonlight making him look like he had bright pink cheeks._ _

__‘Yeah…’_ _

__‘Why didn’t you visit then?’_ _

__‘I… don’t know…’_ _

__‘Oh…’ Lance sounded disappointed even if it hadn’t been his intention._ _

__And Keith noticed._ _

__‘I guess…’ He sighed. ‘I was, _am_ , scared that if I go back I’m going to stay there forever.’_ _

__‘Is that so bad?’_ _

__‘Not really but … I don’t really know if I want that.’_ _

__‘What do you want Keith?’ Lance turned his body, facing Keith, and stared at him._ _

__‘I uh…’ Keith didn’t know what to answer but luckily for him, there was a blunt sound behind them, making them stand up fast… or as fast as their drunk state allowed them._ _

__‘Do you see anything?’ Keith asked._ _

__‘No… maybe it’s an animal?’ Lance looked at Keith but he just shivered from the cold._ _

__‘Oookay, we are getting our asses back to the castle now, and fast… here.’ Lance covered him with his jacket and Keith finished putting it on, not really feeling like rejecting the offer. Lance tried to play the sober one and grabbed Keith by the shoulder guiding both of them._ _

__

__Without anything to delay them, they arrived at the castle only five minutes later. They walked to their rooms, Lance still grabbing Keith by the shoulder._ _

__‘You know I can walk on my own, right?’_ _

__‘I don’t really want to prove if you are wrong, buddy.’_ _

__Keith moved Lance’s hand off his shoulder and opened the bedroom door in front of them._ _

__‘Uhh, Keith?’ Lance hesitated._ _

__Keith threw himself on top of the bed, taking off his shoes and throwing them on the floor._ _

__‘I’m dizzy.’ He commented, taking a deep breath._ _

__‘.... You know this is my room, right?’ Lance came closer and took off his shoes, lying beside Keith._ _

__‘What? No is not....’ Keith lifted his head and looked around. It was, in fact, Lance’s room, and further proof was the cologne scent he could smell on the pillow he had under his head. It was completely intoxicating._ _

__Keith groaned, but not exactly out of annoyance._ _

__Lance laughed. Both of them shifting to their sides so they faced each other._ _

__‘Your cheeks are so flushed.’ Lance noticed while poking them._ _

__‘Asian glow? Galran glow?’ He chuckled._ _

__Keith noticed the long hair on the back of Lance’s head, and moved one of his hands grabbing a few locks, and resting his hand on Lance’s side. Lance was staring at him softly, his lips forming a faint smile, and it was completely overwhelming but Keith could not look away. It was so easy to just drown in the feeling, in those bright blue eyes that were so calming._ _

__‘Your hair is getting longer…’ He cleared his throat, looking at the locks of hair in his hand. It was also very soft, but he didn’t say that out loud._ _

__‘…’_ _

__‘It kind of reminds me of a mull-’_ _

__‘Don’t say it.’ Lance snapped._ _

__Keith chuckled._ _

__‘I’m going to ask Pidge to give me a haircut.’_ _

__‘Pidge?’_ _

__‘She once mentioned giving Matt a haircut, so I guess so.’ He shrugged._ _

__Keith held his laughter because he knew that story did not end with Matt happy in any way. But maybe Pidge had gotten better at cutting hair._ _

__Keith closed his eyes, Lance’s hair still on his hand._ _

__‘Still dizzy?’ Lance asked in a low voice._ _

__Keith nodded._ _

__‘Sleep.’_ _

__And as if Lance had given him a command, he fell asleep._ _

__

__________________ _

__

__Keith woke up in the middle of the night and opened his eyes lazily. Lance was sleeping very deeply beside him, both of them facing each other and… Keith’s hand softly resting on Lance’s _cheek_._ _

__‘ _Oh shit._ ’ He hissed under his breath, taking his hand off of Lance as if it burned him. Lance didn’t notice and keep sleeping peacefully. _ _

__This was not supposed to happen, not now, not last time, not ever. This was supposed to be a friendly hangout, but as much as Keith denied everything, his heart beating in his chest like a drum said otherwise._ _

__Keith held his breath as if somehow it would help him make less noise and slowly got off the bed, picked his shoes up and left the room fast. He carefully walked the short distance to his own room, as he was still drunk, and got under the covers of his bed. He fell asleep fast, still wearing clothes… and completely inebriated by Lance’s scent._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
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> [ X ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TeccAtqd5K8)


	11. And in the dark, I can hear your heartbeat

An abrupt movement from the castle was what woke Keith up this time. It wasn’t even the movement alone, but also the sound. The castle sounded like it was being torn apart, metal compressing and scraping, but weirdly no alarms had gone off.

He sat up, rubbing his eyes and trying to get some conscious thoughts in his mind. He could _still_ smell Lance’s cologne, almost like if he had bathed in the fragrance, and it was confusing, to say the least. He was absolutely sure he left the other boy’s room and came back to his own. Keith checked around with his sleepy eyes just to be sure, and yes, that was his room. He sighed. He should probably stop hanging out, _and falling asleep_ , in Lance’s room. This whole thing was getting out of control but at the same time… he admitted that spending time with Lance was nice. Maybe a little more than nice.

‘ _Team, we need you in the control room now!_ ’ Allura’s voice came from the castle’s speakers. 

Keith got up and ran as fast as he could, his still sleepy mind almost making him crush against Lance just outside the control room.

‘Sorry.’ Keith coughed as he tried to gain control of himself, but Lance only stared at him with confused, furrowed eyebrows.

‘Wha-’ Keith began but Lance pointed his index finger at him.

Keith looked down and then realized. He was still wearing Lance’s jacket from last night, and that meant… he had also slept _wearing it_ too. At least that explained the smell. Keith put up his most convincing poker face and slowly and without saying a word, took the jacket off and gave it back to Lance, nodding in a thankful gesture. 

The castle distress alarm finally went off but everybody was already on the bridge.

‘What’s happening?’ Hunk asked.

‘We are being repelled by some kind of energy.’ Pidge said, typing fast on her screen. ‘Like if the gravity on the moon worked outwards.’ 

‘Can that even happen?’ Lance screeched and grabbed his paladin seat tightly as the castle shake got stronger. ‘Should we call Ekya?’ He suggested.

‘Can we do anything to help?’ Allura yelled over the noise.

‘But gravity does not have polarity, how can it be repelling us?’ Hunk tried to make some sense of the situation.

‘That’s it!’ Coran said running to the main controls. ‘Pidge, try to reverse the polarity of the Brorppok propulsion.’

‘On it!’ 

The castle rumbled, shaking even more violently and slowly turning on its axis. 

‘We are going down!’ Hunk screamed along with Lance.

‘We are going in!’ Coran yelled, holding his controls. 

The castle managed to enter the atmosphere, and stabilized after a few rough minutes, landing safe and sound on the dark side of _Lyetis_ moon. The team immediately contacting Ekya.

‘ _Voltron! Do not land on the moon on your own!_ ’ He warned before anyone could say anything. ‘ _The Awkan developed some kind of tech to partially block Altean and Altean-like energy._ ’ 

‘Uhh… we kinda already landed.’ Lance panicked.

‘ _And you managed?_ ’ He said with surprise in his voice. ‘ _Sorry about the late notice then. You’ll be fine as long as you don’t try to take off. I’ll be there in a minute._ ’ Ekya ended the transmission. 

And exactly a minute after they saw Ekya’s ship landing on the Castle’s deck.

‘Hold on…’ Hunk fretted. ‘If they block Altean energy… that means… we can’t use Voltron…’ 

‘You are right.’ Ekya said calmly, coming inside the control room. ‘You can’t. We’ll be alright though, my men reported little to none movement in the last days… The attack is happening tomorrow at sunset. We should get there in the morning and prepare everything.’ 

‘Are you sure we can’t use Voltron?’ Keith doubted, anxiousness trying to creep through his body like poison, but keeping it under control.

‘I’m sure, and I’m sorry.’ Ekya replied looking at Keith, feeling a bit uncomfortable. ‘I found out that… while they held you captive… they figured out how the Red lion worked…’

‘ _Fuck._ ’ Keith swore under his breath. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘Is not your fault Keith.’ Shiro put a hand on his shoulder. 

‘Does this means we can’t use our paladin suits with our Bayard’s too?’ Lance asked and everyone turned to look at him.

A heavy silence invaded the room as everyone realized how vulnerable they were left without all the tech they usually used.

‘Crap.’ Pidge hissed under her breath. 

‘Ooooh, that’s not good, no, nope. How are we even going to fight these guys if we don’t even have… anything at all!’ 

‘Let’s not panic here Hunk, first of all, if you managed to land here with the Castle of Lions… you know, Altean tech, it means that even if they know about Altean technology they are still developing it. Second, Lance and I did go to get weapons, didn’t we?’ Ekya gestured towards Lance. ‘And you can still wear your paladin armors right?’ 

‘Just as an armor, yes, but the Bayard’s won’t work.’ Allura stated thoughtfully. 

‘Well, that’s something.’ Shiro encouraged. ‘What else did you find?’ 

‘Well…’ Ekya walked to the main controls and put a spherical device on it. ‘Their tech is quite advanced.’ The main screen showed the blueprints of a few of their weapons. Most of them worked with some kind of energy unknown to the team, it probably had something to do with their mind control power. ‘I also came across this…’ The screen showed a few photos of a long oval-shaped sort of antenna. ‘It’s still under construction but when they finish this, they’ll be able to control beings without even having to touch them on the first place.’

Everyone went dead quiet. It was the biggest threat they had encounter probably since Zarkon’s Galra Empire.

‘We can’t let them finish.’ Keith said, serious. This was exactly what scared him the most. A lot of people had already lost their lives and suffer, in one way or another, because of them. They needed to stop them now.

‘No, we can’t.’ Ekya agreed. ‘Luckily for us, all in all, the Awkan are not a huge group yet, they are still mostly working undercover, and underground. And tomorrow we are dealing with about two-thirds of their whole force power.’

‘Can we really take on two-thirds of their whole force power without Voltron?’ Hunk asked.

‘Yes, is not really as much as it sounds, and we are going to make a plan.’ Ekya showed a hologram map of the planet. ‘Also, my men are already down there. We’ll be enough.’ 

Hunk nodded.

‘But…’ Ekya continued. ‘Above all, the most important thing is that you can’t let them touch you under any circumstances… their advances in technology and their knowledge of Altean energy make your paladin suits even more vulnerable under their control. Their power can definitely pierce through your armors, and maybe even amplify the effect on you.’ 

‘We should split into teams.’ Lance proposed before anyone could think even more about the imminent risks of the mission.

‘I agree.’ Ekya said. ‘We have two ships. My main and its smaller pod, so two teams it is. Shiro and I will lead one, Pidge and Keith coming with us on the main ship.’ The team nodding in agreement. ‘Lance, you’ll lead the other team, Hunk and Allura will go with you.’ 

‘We need to neutralize them before they attack the inhabitants.’ Shiro added. ‘They are our main focus.’

‘This…’ Ekya pointed in the map a narrow street behind some buildings on the outsides of the city. ‘Is the fastest route to where we need to-’ Ekya couldn’t finish his sentence as a huge earthquake-like movement shook the moon, and therefore the castle. 

‘What’s going on?’ Keith shot with clear panic in his voice.

‘I’m detecting signals of massive energy on _Lyetis._ ’ Pidge scanned her screen.

‘It can’t be.’ Ekya whispered, joining Pidge’s side. 

The castle’s main channel suddenly opened and one of Ekya’s men appeared on the screen. He could barely be seen due to a cloud of dust and smoke surrounding him, but they could clearly see the blood on his face and neck. ‘ _Sir-_ ’ The connection broke off for a second. ‘ _The Awkan are here- we need back up immedia-_ ’ The castle lost the signal and Pidge and Coran tried to recover it with no use whatsoever.

‘We need to go, _now!_ ’ Ekya commanded.

‘What about the plan?’ Hunk asked while they were all running to the deck. 

‘Stay with your team. Defend the people on the planet. Do not let them touch you!’ Shiro spoke up. ‘We’ll take the eastern side.’ 

‘Roger that.’ Lance acknowledged. 

Keith felt his heart in his throat, the sound of its beating rhythm invading his ears from the inside. He felt his blood run cold inside him and his limbs burning from the outside. The distance to the ship's deck never felt longer, and suddenly he didn’t know how to run or move his legs at all, but kept doing it on autopilot and tried to calm down as much as he could. He needed to stay put, he was no use to the team like that. 

His hand unconsciously grabbed the clock around his neck, holding it tightly.

Ekya got the small pod out of his main ship and handed the respective weapons. Everybody leaving with their designated teams. 

‘Hey!’ Lance called and grabbed Keith’s arm before he could get on the ship, making him turn around abruptly. 

‘Are you going to be okay?’ Lance asked, scanning his friend.

‘I’ll be fine.’ Keith nodded but couldn’t hide the anxious look on his face.

‘Talk to me man, are you okay?’ Lance tried.

‘Come on Lance! We _have to go!_ ’ Hunk called urgent.

Lance tightened his grip on Keith’s arm. 

‘Keith, please, just-’

‘Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.’ Keith said taking a deep breath. 

Lance’s grip on his arm loosen a bit but didn’t let go.

‘Just… be careful.’ Lance stared at him in the eyes, and it was less than a second and then he was gone, but before he got in the pod he turned around and yelled. ‘You still haven’t told me about your adventures in space, it was a deal!’ 

And with that Lance left as the unspoken promise lingered in the air. 

Keith nodded softly even if Lance couldn’t see him.

‘Keith!’ Pidge called and he ran to the ship. 

Lance and Ekya took off right away. 

 

______

 

The planet was already submerged in complete chaos when they landed. People screaming and running in every direction, gunshots from everywhere, bombs exploding very loudly, and the air polluted with so much dust and smoke that they couldn’t distinguish a few meters in front of them. It didn’t help that their suits positioning system was not working, they could not even contact Coran back in the castle. At least the communication between them was still working, but other than that, they were going in blind.

‘There!’ Pidge yelled over the noise and pointed to their right, running in that direction. The team followed her and distinguished a group of attackers from the rest of the people. They were covered from head to toe with black tunics and not an inch of their bodies or faces could be seen. They were all firing at will. 

The team attacked together, coming at them violently. 

Somehow in the short trip from the castle to the planet, Keith had managed to get every intrusive thought out of his head, leaving it completely blank, and only focusing on the main mission: defeating the Awkan. With his Marmora blade, Keith attacked the enemy with a determination probably not seen since their fight with Zarkon. 

And this battle was just as important. Once again the fate of the universe laid on their hands.

The enemy was not as difficult to defeat as they thought. They went down with one well-aimed shot, with one sword strike. The problem was that they would not stop coming in huge waves.

‘ _Guys!_ ’ Lance voice on the comm. ‘ _I don’t know how’s your side, but we are struggling here._ ’ Gunshots sounded on his side. 

‘Us too.’ Pidge answered.

‘ _There are too many!_ ’ Hunk panted.

‘This doesn’t make any sense.’ Shiro took down three Awkan with one blow. ‘This was supposed to be a small assault.’ 

‘ _Perhaps we underestimated their power force?_ ’ Allura groaned on the other side.

Once again Keith wasn’t really paying attention to what his teammates were saying, his attention was completely fixated on the fight. He had run off to the corner of a street and was taking down a huge group on his own without a problem. He was so angry that all his other awareness systems had shut down. He didn’t even have a plan of attack he was just striking down everyone that crossed his line of vision. 

The team kept advancing to the center of the city to where they were going to meet the others, but when they arrived everything was already completely destroyed. 

‘ _Guys we are too late!_ ’ Pidge fretted. The main fight was already done there, and some Awkan were retreating, but there was still a huge group left behind continuing the attack. 

The team came closer and noticed how strangely the Awkan group were attacking. They were all forming a circle looking outwards, very close to each other, almost like... if they were protecting each other.

‘This… this isn’t right.’ Ekya hesitated.

‘What do you mean?’ Shiro questioned.

Ekya looked around and restrained one of the attackers that were running away. He removed the black tunic only to reveal they had been confronting the inhabitants of the planet dressed up as Awkan. ‘ _Stop! Stop NOW!_ We’ve been deceived.’ 

Shiro followed what Ekya just did and uncovered another attacker. ‘They are being controlled. We need to neutralize them without harm!’ 

‘ _Are we sure this is not a trap?_ ’ Allura asked.

‘Positive.’ Shiro answered as he tried to neutralize two other people. 

‘ _What about the Awkan?_ ’ Lance asked. 

‘Let them go!’ Ekya shouted.

‘What?! No!’ Keith objected just realizing what was going on and running back to the group immediately. Keith tried to get Ekya’s attention but a new group of attackers appeared, shooting at them with powerful blasts. The team ran to hide behind a small speeder on the side of the street. 

‘We need to get them now!’ Keith grabbed Ekya’s arm. ‘This is our only chance!’

‘ _We don’t even know where they are, they could be-AH!_ ’ But Hunk couldn’t finish his sentence.

‘ _HUNK!_ ’ Allura screamed. 

‘What happened?’ Pidge worried.

‘ _Hunk got shot._ ’ 

‘What? Is he okay?’ 

‘ _I’m fine Pidge.’ Hunk groaned. ‘It was barely a scratch, but I don’t think we can hold them any longer._ ’

‘We need to regroup!’ Shiro commanded. ‘What is your position?’

‘ _We are southwest from the center of the city._ ’ Lance responded.

‘We are coming to you!’

A new wave of fire hit them, the speeder they were hiding behind was not going to resist a lot longer. 

‘When I give the signal we run towards that corner.’ Shiro pointed to their left.

Keith felt how it was getting harder and harder to breathe. The sounds surrounding him became muffled, the beating of his heart the only thing that resonated inside his head. He knew they were outnumbered, outgunned, and more than obviously out planned. The situation was a mess, but Keith knew that there was a huge probability that if they didn’t get them here, they were never going to. They were going to lose, and then most probably his friends were going to get hurt, like they already had. And maybe it was his anxious mind intruding his thoughts but that’s how it felt at that moment. 

He needed to do something, anything. 

His body felt completely numb now, the sound of the fire surrounding him echoing so far away he could not distinguish if they were still under attack or if it was his mind replaying the scene over and over again. 

‘Hey, hey, hey! Don’t faint on us Keith!’ Ekya grabbed him by the shoulders. ‘Keith, look at me.’

‘ _What’s wrong?_ ’ Lance asked, the concern on his voice louder than the gunshots from the background.

‘We can’t give up like this.’ Keith mumbled, tightening the grip on his blade, trying to regain full consciousness. ‘We gotta do something.’

Ekya looked at him with distress in his eyes. ‘Keith, I know how you feel but right now there is nothing we can do more than help the people on this planet.’ He grabbed the hand that wasn’t holding the Marmora blade and squeezed it. ‘I promise we’ll get them, but now we need to-’

‘ _Shiro, we need your help now!_ ’ Allura yelled over the comms.

‘Go, go, go!’ He commanded immediately.

The team ran to the corner of the street and turned right down on it. The attackers did not follow them, and the gunshots were left behind as they made their way fast to were the other team was. 

Keith was running with Pidge at his front, and Ekya following close behind, observing their surroundings trying to get a sense to where they were and trying to find the location Lance told them they were at. The cloud of dust and smoke was still present in the air and still made it difficult to see farther than a few meters in front of them, making the scenario even more confusing than it already was. But when Keith saw the red flashing light to their far side it was unmistakable.

‘GET TO COVER! THERE IS A-’

The bomb exploded before Keith could finish, and before either of them could get to cover. The explosion was far enough for them to be out of the area of heat and debris, but the blast wave immediately after, knocked them over hard against the wall. 

The ringing in his ears came before Keith could open his eyes. Everything was blurry but he could still see the rest of the team lying on the ground beside him. 

‘Is everyone okay?’ Shiro asked, immediately going to Pidge’s side.

‘Yes.’ Ekya coughed. 

‘ _Guys we- explosion- what- oing on?_ ’ Allura tried but the energy from the explosion was affecting the comms on their suits.

‘What happened? What was tha-’ Keith begun, but froze as he saw a dark tall figure coming from where the bomb exploded, and it looked like… but it couldn’t be. 

‘ _Team come in! Shiro? Pidge?_ ’ She tried again, now with a lot less interference.

Keith shut his eyes tight, trying to make the blurriness go away, his heart went quiet and his breathing caught in his throat. He opened them again, trying to get some logic out of the whole situation, but this time he was sure his eyes and mind were not playing a trick on him.

On the other end of the street, Ocoa was running away from the battlefield, completely alone.

Keith felt the adrenaline run hot through his veins, making his body recover completely from the explosion in less than a second. And then _the rage, the frustration_. It was because of her he went through hell, it was because of her so many people had _died and suffered_ , innocent people. And that was all he needed because the next thing he did was run after her. 

‘KEITH!’ Pidge screamed desperately as she saw him running away from the team.

‘Keith!’ Ekya yelled, and just as he was about to run after him the gunshots started again, making the three of them take cover inside a house. 

‘ _What’s wrong?_ ’ Lance asked with such dread, his voice felt cold on the other side of the comms.

‘Keith, come back!’ Ekya yelled again, but he could not see Keith anymore. ‘I can’t see- I lost- I lost him!’ 

‘ _WHAT IS GOING ON?!_ ’ Lance yelled desperately. ‘ _Where is Keith? Keith! What are you doing!? Where are you? KEITH!_ ’ 

But Keith was not listening. 

With his heart in his throat, Keith was running as fast as his body allowed him. This was his opportunity to finish all this, to _finish her_. And maybe he didn’t think it through or have a plan, or anything, but that didn’t matter, he could do it. That was the only thought in his mind.

He doesn’t really notice where he is running to. He hears people screaming around him, and he knows there are voices calling for him coming from inside his helmet, but he just can’t hear them, they sound so far away. He is completely lost. And he does not know how, but from one moment to another he finds himself only a few meters behind Ocoa. The ringing in his ears comes back as he realizes what’s happening, but his mind is completely numb to any feeling surging inside him, even if they threat spilling out any second now. The objective was set. He needed to take her down. 

He strikes with his sword the second Ocoa was at reach. But it wasn’t calculated, it wasn’t smart movements, it wasn’t what he knew to do so well. He was just trying to reach her however he could. 

It wasn’t that easy though, of course it wasn’t. 

Keith was fast, filled with anger and distress, but not even one of his attacks landed near her. Her moves so smooth compared to Keith’s frantic ones, but she didn’t entertain him much longer and kept running away from him, from the battlefield, from everything.

Keith followed her blindly.

He could feel his muscles and his throat burning. She was fast, more than fast, almost like she was flying a few centimeters over the floor, and Keith knew she wasn’t even running at her full capacity. Keith’s body tried to stop him, tensing up more every second that passed, almost like it remembered what Keith couldn’t and didn’t want to, almost like it knew what happens when you confront Ocoa.

Only when she stopped Keith realized where they were... or where they weren’t. Ocoa had taken him to the top of a small hill far away from his friends. From up there, the ongoing battle was visible, and both of the teams were now fighting together in the center of the city in a complicated mess of guns firing and swords striking.

Ocoa faced Keith but with no apparent intention of attacking him or doing anything at all, which only made Keith even more furious. Without any time to lose, Keith attacked her again but it was almost like a bad joke. She moved easily and swiftly, changing her position only enough every time Keith’s sword came closer, her efforts were minimum, and Keith was not going to stop, even if he knew in the bottom of his heart that it was useless. He kept on going without a rest, blow after blow, but she dodged them all like nothing.

Keith was getting tired, and now a little more conscious of everything he could feel how his body was not responding all that well. Slowly he realized how terrible of a mistake he had made. And even if he wanted to stop it was now too late to do that, Keith knew the minute he stopped attacking Ocoa was going to kill him. He could see more than clear now that he was not prepared to fight against Ocoa, not physically or mentally. 

Not alone at least.

He heard the voices of his teammates faintly in his helmet. 

Ocoa snapped her fingers and a yellowish see-through force field surrounded her. Keith could tell it was weak, as it kept flickering, maybe it was a new trick, but it was still strong enough to stop Keith’s blade from reaching its objective. 

Keith’s mind was flashing red, he needed help _now _, and as much as the stubborn part of himself wanted to keep trying to find a way to defeat her, calling for backups was the best idea, and Keith absolutely knew it.__

__Keith increased the distance between him and Ocoa as much as he could, trying to get a, more or less, safer gap to call for his friend. But the moment he opened his mouth to call for them Ocoa’s force field failed her and she was left completely defenseless trying to get it on again._ _

__And that was all Keith needed for any rational thought to completely vanish from his mind._ _

__Keith swung his sword aiming at her and struck with all his force, but it was a trap. In a quick move, she dodged to her side and grabbed his arm, pulling him closer and putting her other hand on Keith’s helmet._ _

__

__And that was it._ _

__

__In a fraction of a second, Keith stopped feeling his body. And it was like falling into an endless black hole so slowly, while you get to see from the inside how your life is being controlled. Like watching from a window. And it was such a familiar and dreadful sensation he could almost feel his throat burning with anger and fear._ _

And all he wanted to do was scream as loud and desperate as he could because... Ocoa had taken over his body _once again_. 

‘ _No! nonononono, please no!_ ’. His mind went hysterically, trying to bang the invisible walls that surrounded his consciousness. 

__‘I have to admit… you were a great loss to us, Keith.’ Ocoa stood in front of him, her magenta eyes piercing into his eyes, and it was completely on purpose so he could see her whole face. The long pink barbels at the corner of her mouth moving as she spoke. ‘We were really counting on you helping us achieve so much more… although you did help us get to where we are now.’_ _

__Keith tried to scream again this time with rage and frustration._ _

‘Come on Keith, you are smarter than that.’ She mocked. ‘You know that’s not going to work.’ Her eyes opened wide with eagerness, and slowly but with determination, she placed both of her hands on Keith’s helmet and proceeded to invade his mind. A piercing sharp pain traveling through his whole being. He could feel his physical body trembling with it, and then he fell to his knees. Ocoa was exploring every corner of his mind. Every memory, every feeling, every event that had happened lately, _everything_. 

__Keith fought the intrusion with all of his strength but the little consciousness he had was failing him._ _

__‘Oh, look at that… all those… emotions’ She said with disgust. ‘What else was to be expected, you are only human after all… Pathetic.’_ _

Keith sensed a new wave of Ocoa’s energy on him, his body immediately responding to the renewed intensity. And although he felt his body full of an immeasurable amount of energy, it felt so _wrong_ in him. 

__His body got up from where he was kneeling and picked up a gun from the ground. The sniper rifle was heavy on his arms and Keith felt the huge scope cold against his eye as he located the team. They were all still entangled in the battle, trying to neutralize their fake enemies._ _

__The scope scanned the battlefield more carefully._ _

__There was Pidge, and Allura putting down some people. Shiro and Ekya fighting side to side, very elegantly. Hunk on a hand to hand combat. And then, there was Lance. He had unlocked a new feature on his assault rifle, stunning down the people with his shots._ _

‘There he is… he’s skillful.’ Ocoa Observed. ‘ _Shame._ ’ She hissed. 

‘ _NO!_ ’ Keith screamed at the top of his mind. He was frantic, banging on the walls again. He could feel his body taking the position to shoot, and the aim stabilizing on Lance’s chest. 

__He tried to resist the foreign control over his body again only to be encounter by Ocoa’s laugh._ _

‘You can’t fight the inevitable, _Keith._ ’ 

__Keith looked at her with rage, and somehow he could feel tears rolling down his cheeks now. He kept trying, focusing all his energy on trying to repel Ocoa’s power on him. His anger and fear fueling him more than he could ever imagine at that moment._ _

__He screamed again, and this time, a small sound came out of his actual mouth. Ocoa opened her eyes wide with shock but managed to neutralize her expression a second later._ _

__He heard the team calling his name again, louder._ _

__‘Enough!’ She yelled, completely enraged._ _

__Keith felt his hands grabbing the sniper rifle tighter and putting his index finger on the trigger._ _

__

‘ _No, no, please NO!_ ’ His mind screamed desperate, banging on the walls. He tried to control his arm, his hand, his fingers, but nothing was working. 

‘ _LANCE! LANCE!!_ ’ His mind cried. ‘ _LANCE, PLEASE!_ ’ 

__

__His finger started moving._ _

__

‘ _NO NO NO!_ ’ 

__

__And just then._ _

__

‘ _LAAANCE!_ ’ He managed to scream so loud, his voice echoed on the battlefield. 

__

__Through the scope he saw Lance looking in his direction, and then his finger pulled the trigger._ _

__

__Everything went black._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	12. So I stayed in the darkness with you

 

The sky was dark and full of clouds menacing an imminent rain. Keith did not remember that beach ever being any other than sunny, it was definitely a strange sight. From up where he was, on top of a sand dune just in front of the sea, he could see the ocean waves crashing up against the lonely beach violently, and for some reason, the water looked darker than last time. 

Last time?

…Maybe it was the distance, maybe he just was on a different beach. Keith looked around and found the very familiar sight of a forest to his left. It was further away but he was absolutely sure he had seen that forest before. 

But where? 

Keith tightened up his jacket around his torso as a slight cold breeze blew past him, and in the movement, noticed that to his right there was a small wooden cabin. His feet moved in its direction before Keith could really think about it, and as he got closer he noted how it had been completely abandoned for who knows how many years. The windows where all broken, the varnish from the façade had faded long ago, and it was buried a few centimeters in the sand. 

He tried to open the door to see what was inside but something was jamming it from the other side. He kept pushing it with all his strength but it was futile, so after a few minutes trying, he carefully walked his way around the house and looked over from a window. His view from there not only checked that there was an immense amount of sand blocking the entrance, but also that there was nothing else inside the cabin. Not furniture, not a sign that anybody had lived there ever. Only sand.

Strange. 

And it was almost like the house wanted to give nostalgic vibes but it only made it look and feel creepy. But it was just a feeling, and a part of Keith thought that it wasn’t the house giving him that sensation.

Still looking through the broken window, he felt a cold sharp wind on his neck and the eerie feeling that someone was watching him. Keith froze, and it had nothing to do with the temperature of that wind. He shut his eyes hard taking a short breath, hearing his heartbeat going faster in his chest. Then, he counted to three. 

One.

Two.

Three. 

Completely unprepared to face whatever was behind him, Keith turned around fast but found himself as alone as he was just a few minutes ago.

Maybe lurking around an abandoned cabin wasn’t the best idea. He should definitely find someone to ask around, and logically the beach was the best place to do that.

The sand was cold and rough under his bare feet. It wasn’t the light color he remembered either, it looked a bit greyish, like if it was wet, although it wasn’t. And it all felt weirdly familiar but in the wrong way. He looked at the dark waves. There was something extremely wild, and rugged about the sea that day. The force and power of the water rushing up the sand, grabbing every little thing in its step, and dragging them back to the ocean depths. It was hypnotizing and terrifying at the same time. 

The wave advanced into the beach and Keith took a few steps backward. He should keep looking around, but as he turned around, an odd, different splash caught his attention. He stood still trying to see if it happened again, and just as he thought, it did. 

Something was making weird waves a bit further into the depths of the ocean… or maybe it was _someone._

But it couldn’t be. Whenever he found himself on that beach, he was completely alone… right? That’s what he remembered, although those memories were a bit foggy… How many times had he been there before?

Completely enticed by whatever was floating in the water, Keith didn’t realize when he took his clothes off or when he got in the water and started swimming towards the unknown. Something inside him urged him to go and check whatever that was. _Help_ whatever that was.

The water was freezing and the waves fierce. It took all his skills to go against the current and even then, he only made it a few meters away from the shore and was already exhausted, a little faint even. He felt short of breath despite swimming on the surface. The tide was too strong for him, but that feeling inside, that hunch, kept him from turning around to safe lands.

The waves started to get bigger the deeper he got in the ocean, and Keith’s arms and legs were not keeping up with his desires. Sloppy strokes and uncoordinated leg kicks made him an easy target for the waves to hit and drag around, and not long after they started to go over him, sinking him just for a few seconds, but just enough for him to have to make an _extra_ effort to keep himself afloat. 

Keith’s heart was racing in his chest from exhaustion and fear. Still, he didn’t relent. He couldn’t go back, not now.

And that was his mistake.

From one second to another, the ocean started receding fast, taking Keith along the way, but that wasn’t just it. A massive wave, as tall as a five-store building, raised just in front of him.

Time slowed down as Keith watched the wave slowly coming closer as it was going to break on him. There was nowhere he could go now… it all happened in a fraction of a second.

Keith was caught in a whirlpool under the water, turning him around and over so fast he did not longer know where was up or down. Nor how deep he was submerged. It all looked the same, darkness surrounded him.

Ice cold water entered through his mouth and nose, and he fought against the involuntary contractions of his chest, but the dark liquid was already filling his lungs. The sudden thickness of it making him gasp for air even harder. 

He felt his body go numb and motionless, his mind the only still conscious organ, but it didn’t last long, and everything went black.

 

 

_________________

 

 

Gasping for air, Keith felt something thick running down his face, and two people lifting him by the arms and carrying him. He could feel his feet dragging on the floor but could not move them. Same happened with his heavy eyelids that he was trying so hard to open. At least his lungs were more or less breathing normally now, inhaling and exhaling _air_.

Keith could hear the people carrying him talking, and a few sounds farther away that were replying, but it was all muffled echoes to him. His body was cold and stiff, and couldn’t move even an inch of it.

Arms picked him up and laid him on a bed, or what he wanted to think was a bed, although it was a bit hard against his back. He tried to open his eyes again, he needed to know where he was, what was happening. Keith didn’t know how he got there, why was he like that, what happened to him, or anything. He didn’t know _anything_. He couldn’t remember anything.

If he was a little bit more conscious he would have surely panicked just thinking about the possibilities of what could be happening at that moment, but due to his mind still being in a dazed, confused state, the highest hope he had at that moment was to open his eyes. And he didn’t have to wait that much longer for that because only a few seconds later fingers forcefully opened them, flashing a bright white light on them. 

Keith could not distinguish anything after that, not only because of the white dots he was left seeing after they turned off the flashlight, but also because everything was blurry. Not his surroundings, not the shadows leaning over him, not one thing he could distinguish. And before he knew everything faded away once again.

 

 

___________________

 

 

When Keith regained consciousness everything around him was pitch black. Immediately panicking, he brought his right hand to his neck as his chest gasped for air, expecting to be welcome with some kind of thick liquid, but surprised with clean, fresh air in his lungs. 

He remembered the beach, being underwater and… drowning, but he wasn’t floating or swimming anymore, he was just standing there completely surrounded by darkness. Which wasn’t completely bad if he was honest, it was soothing, in some weird way. Peaceful almost. 

Had drowning in the sea been real? 

But he didn’t have an answer for that, nor for any question that could come up in his head at that moment. His mind floating heavily and aimlessly in a continuous cold fog. 

‘ _I’m dreaming._ ’ 

Keith looked down to pinch himself with his hands but did not find them. He could not see his body anymore.

Okay, he was definitely dreaming. That was something at least, but that didn’t explain why he could not remember anything. 

He knew he needed to make an effort and try to wake up, and do something. Anything. But he didn’t want to. Something had drained every bit of energy and will out of him, and he found himself feeling so tired… from everything that had happened. Even if he didn’t know what it was. 

So maybe… maybe it didn’t matter if he took his time figuring this out. There was no rush he could think of, and that might be the biggest sign for him to actually worry about the situation, but at the moment he couldn’t care less.

It was a strange feeling not remember anything. Where do you start? Was there actually something he should remember? Perhaps his life had all been a dream and this was his definite state of living… but that didn’t sound right. 

A faint sharp pain invaded a corner of his mind. 

_No, that doesn’t sound right._

So… where _do you_ start…

 _My name is Keith… and I’m a…_ But nothing came to mind, his thoughts as blank and still as the darkness around him. Floating calmly. 

The sharp pain disturbed him again, a lot more present this time. 

Why could he remember the beach but not… 

Heaviness laid upon him like a thousand-pound rock on his chest. A dreadful feeling and overwhelming emotions poured inside him like a broken faucet. And he didn’t understand them.

He was sinking slowly, but foreign sounds guided him.

If he could, he would cry… but he couldn’t, and that made it all even worse.

A metallic tap. 

A steady rhythm.

A soft… voice.

He wasn’t sinking, not really. The sounds were keeping him afloat.

And it was something so weirdly familiar… he let go and let himself drift, everything fading away almost immediately.

 

 

_________________

 

 

Everything was dark but at the same time, so much brighter, and a little less foggy. As confused as before but a lot lighter. This time he felt drawn by another sound, another voice. A deep voice. And the sound came clear in his ears.

He knew who that was, he was sure he knew but his thoughts would not come together to give him an answer.

The voice was talking. Unhurriedly and calm. Reassuring, almost. 

Keith felt a hole inside, and the sharp pain in his mind came back. It hurt him sick, and he felt everything fading, but this time he didn’t want to let go. He needed to remember that voice. He needed to _wake up_. 

He focuses on the voice and the comfort it brings, holds on to it so tight, but is not enough. His efforts drain him of the little energy he has, fast, and any hope of waking up slips through his hands.

The voice calls him, worried.

Thickness surrounded every corner of consciousness, and his mind was playing tricks on him because just before everything faded away he knew that voice belonged to _Shiro_.

 

 

________________

 

 

When Keith wakes up in the real world he does it abruptly and harshly. Lights so bright it hurt his eyes. His head palpitated, his ears were ringing, but he was _awake_. He could feel his body, laying on a hard unknown surface, and he tried to move only to be encountered with a piercing sharp pain traveling his whole body. He groaned as he felt his eyes watering, but tried to look around and see where he was, and although his eyesight was more than blurry he could make out a shadow just beside him. Hearing coming into play when he noticed how the body was moving like it was talking to him.

He knew that voice too, didn’t he? 

Shutting his eyes hard, Keith tried to make the blurriness go away, and it worked to a certain extent. The shadow became more than a silhouette, and he could see the long dark hair falling on blue skin like a waterfall.

Dizziness and nausea made him close his eyes again. It was too much at once. 

There was a question directed to him, but he couldn’t hear it. His heartbeat was too loud in his ears. 

Keith opened his mouth, a puff the only thing coming out of it.

‘ _Keith..._ ’ 

He opened his mouth again but was interrupted.

‘Shhh, don’t speak. You are still under the drug we put you under.’

 _Ekya_.

Knowing it was him on his bedside was reassuring but what he just heard only raised more questions in his restless mind. He tried to grab one of Ekya’s hands resting on the bed, but only managed to roll his hand over, with ache.

‘Don’t move Keith, I’m serious.’ Ekya pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, tiredly. 

Keith feels like his mind is filled with cotton, slowly starting to pass out again, but still tries to keep himself awake, to hold on to anything.

‘I have to go, Keith. I just came to say goodbye.’ And he could see Ekya’s mouth sealed in a tight line. 

It was serious. 

Keith’s breathing increased in rhythm. Ekya couldn’t leave him there, not alone, not when he felt so lost, and so _scared_.

‘Hey…’ Ekya put one of his hands on his forehead, trying to calm him down, to ease his worries. His voice sounded much closer now.

‘I’ll be back, but I can’t… I can’t let this pass Keith…’ His voice almost a whisper. ‘I’m sorry.’ Ekya kissed his forehead before turning and starting to leave.

And Keith tried calling but again no sound came out.

‘Don’t worry, your friends are taking good care of you…’ A door swished open and Ekya’s footsteps stopped. ‘Of Lance too... he’s still recovering, but he’s alright.’ And with that, he left.

Keith’s surroundings slowly faded to black, to quiet thoughts, to peaceful tides.

 

 

_______________

 

 

_Voltron._

Voltron had been a big part of his life, still was. It had changed him and life as he knew it. He found himself thanks to Voltron, found his family, his calling.

When Voltron was no longer needed, when their mission was accomplished and more than done for, Keith felt a little lost, to say the least. But in the end, he will always have his friends and family, _always_.

Keith will always remember _Voltron _.__

__

 

 

__________________ _

 

 

__

Something had happened, something bad. He _knew_ , but couldn’t get his thoughts on it, not yet. 

His mind was agitated and his thoughts restless, trying to find something, _anything_. And he knew he had it, it was right there, in him. He knew. 

He remembered Ekya, and… Shiro… _Shiro_ … and… 

__Something happened… a battle._ _

__The sharp pain came back, assaulting his consciousness, but he pushed through it._ _

__There was a battle. He was injured, he knew that. There was Ekya, and Shiro, and… and Voltron._ _

_Voltron_. 

__He was fighting alongside Voltron, team Voltron._ _

He was a _paladin_ of Voltron. 

__And then it clicked, the sharp pain intensifying in his head._ _

The _Awkan_. 

Keith found himself caught in a whirlwind of emotions and memories. He _remembered_. 

__The pain in his head became even stronger, burning him from the inside._ _

__Something had happened._ _

__The Awkan. The battle. Ocoa. Ekya. Voltron._ _

_His friends._

__Keith was drowning again, thick liquid filling his insides so slowly and painfully._ _

__A steady rhythm. A drum beat._ _

__His friends, he needed his friends, he needed to see his friends. He needed to wake up._ _

_Now_. 

__Frustration invaded him fast as he could not even get a glimpse of waking up. He didn’t know how._ _

__He could feel his mind screaming into the black void again and again with no use. Banging against invisible walls that were not there before, that were closing on him slowly._ _

__The beating of the drum got faster, and Keith held on to it like his life depended on it because it might as well._ _

__Nothing really mattered if he didn’t have his friends._ _

__The pain in his mind was almost unbearable now. Memories violently coming at him._ _

__He remembered… Hunk got hurt, and…_ _

__And Lance._ _

_Lance._

__Lance was recovering… something had happened to Lance._ _

__The walls closed in on him a little bit more._ _

__A metallic tap._ _

__A steady rhythm._ _

A soft… _voice_. 

__So familiar._ _

__So warm._ _

__The beating drum slowed down._ _

_Lance, Lance, Lance_. He kept repeating like a mantra. Like it was everything. 

__The walls confined him completely._ _

__Keith was drowning._ _

__

 

 

___________________ _

 

 

__

__Keith woke up violently gasping for air and calling Lance’s name. And it was the first time he heard his voice out loud in a long time._ _

__‘Hey buddy, I’m here, I’m here.’ Lance's voice was soft and so close to him._ _

__Keith opened his eyes and was blinded by white light, making him immediately close them hard._ _

‘You are alive…’ He breathed with difficulty. ‘You are _alive._ ’ 

__‘Of course I’m alive.’ Lance brushed off, softly caressing his head and moving the hair out of his face._ _

‘ _Lance._ ’ Keith kept calling, his hands immediately searching for him. 

__‘Hey, shhh, take it easy.’ Lance urged, taking Keith’s hands in his. ‘You might be done recovering but that doesn’t mean you can jump straight out of bed.’ He chuckled trying to light up the mood. ‘You still have a few days to rest...'_ _

_Days?_

__'How did you know it was me anyways?’ He asked while making circles with his thumbs on Keith’s hands._ _

__It was more a rhetorical question than anything else but still… how did he?_ _

__Keith breathing was not evening out as he could not get the drowning sensation out of his body or his mind… what if he was still dreaming?_ _

__‘Let me- let me call somebody.’ Lance said, leaving the chair beside the bed and making his way to the door._ _

‘No, no…’ He breathed. ‘ _Lance._ ’ Keith cried for him to stay. 

__And Lance heard him._ _

__‘I’m here, I’m here.’ Lance assured sitting next to the bed again._ _

__Keith needed to see Lance, but his eyes kept shutting down, heavily._ _

‘ _No…_ ’ Keith shook his head in denial. ‘No.’ 

__But maybe it was only just a dream._ _

__‘No… no…’_ _

__‘Keith what is-’ But Lance was interrupted by Keith’s hands searching for him again._ _

__‘Please…’ Keith begged._ _

__Lance grabbed his hands again, but this time Keith blindly reached for his face, finding it only a second later, holding it softly but with determination._ _

‘ _Lance._ ’ Keith called but it was only a whisper. 

_Only a dream… so it really doesn’t matter... anything._

__'Hey, hey, I’m here, okay? I’m not leaving... I’m not going anywhe-' But Lance couldn’t finish that sentence as one of Keith’s hands slid down his neck and grabbed his shirt tightly, pulling him closer._ _

__The kiss was tough, only lasting a few seconds, and before Lance could do anything about it, Keith passed out in his arms._ _

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ X ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EIeUlvHAiM)  
>  
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
>  
> 
> Fun fact about this chapter: Keith's unconscious experience is loosely based on my own when I was in an accident and was unconscious for a few.
> 
> Also just want to add... Keith just loves having bonding moments with Lance.


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